Giving my ex an V-day gift

[thefireisoutanyway]

Hello,

 

I was at the mall today to buy my family (mother, grandmother, sister) some Godiva chocolate for V-day. At the time I was buying, something in my head convinced me that I should definitely get my ex and her roomate a box of chocolate each. (One of those small ones that have only two pieces.)

 

Both my ex and roomate were friends before I got into a relationship, the relationship only lasted a month, which ended wth me getting dumped, followed by 3 months of me moping in pain. So I thought, as a friend, I can give them both something, and since I'm giving them both the same thing, it won't get misinterpreted?

 

Is this a bad idea?

[ReadyorNot]

I think its a REALLY bad idea.... will she get you something? Probably not.. then you will look like a fool for not being over her yet.... I dont mean to sound mean, but I was with a guy for almost 4 years and he ended it,but I told him we couldnt be friends... he was upset about that but got over it quite fast... I sent him cards and la etter (holidays, bday)... and I ended up just getting laughed at and being made a fool.

[a.d.c.]

Give it to them if

 

1.You have no ulterior motives

 

2.Aren't expecting anything to come out of your act of kindness

 

3.You have confidence in yourself & it wouldn't bother you if they DID for some reason misinterpret it

 

If your not sure about any of those 3 then don't do it.

 

That's cool that you think about the important women in your life on Valentines Day. If your ex and her roomie know you buy the other special women in your life things for V day then they shouldn't take this act of kindness the wrong way. BUT most important is your reason for getting them 2 something for V Day. Kindness or for other reasons. It's really all about you and what you think or feel.

 

I personally tend to agree with Readyornot's comments though. I wouldn't do it. But you know your circumstances better. Whether it ended bad or not. Whether you still have feelings or not.

 

Hope that helps ya somewhat.

[thefireisoutanyway]

Thanks for your replies!

 

Actually, I have no idea WHY I am getting them gifts. I have been trying to formulate a logical reply for the last 5 minutes, but it is not coming. May be I want to give gifts b/c subconsciously I believe that my ex'll come back to me or something? But then why the hell am I getting her roomie gift?

 

At the time I was buying them, I was thinking about how I haven't spoken to either of them for about a month and haven't seen either of them for almost two months.

 

Even I can't figure myself out. But I know for certain that

 

1) I am not over my ex, and I want to get back together with her.

2) I have no intention of getting together with my ex's roomate.

 

Guh =_= May be I should just forget about giving them stuff. I still have the receipt for the chocolates...

[Jimbo10]

Good plan

 

Forget the gifts and eat their chocolate as a secret punishment for screwing with your heart...ha...that'll teach'em!

[raggamuffin]

If you are not over your ex giving her a valentines day gift is very inappropriate, it will end up hurting you because deep down you do want something (anything) in return and if it doesnt happen you will end up feeling bad all over again. Eat the chocolate for yourself or give it to someone who could really do with cheering up! Happy Valentines Day!!

[ang3l2004]

haha

[Mentor]

This is inappropriate. Don't do it.

[Day_Walker]

No I wouldnt buy them any chocolates no matter if you were friends before you got together or not. First of all I dont think that it serves any purpose for you to do so. If you have no idea what your motives are for wanting to buy them something for valentines day then there is no point in doing it. You have to have a reason and it should be justified. With ex's it can be difficult how to cope with the situation after the break up but I wouldnt put forth any effort on an ex that you were with only a month.

[Leges39]

I was considering the very idea of getting my ex a rose or something and stick it in her mailbox or something...

 

i now think it is a bad idea.....will she get me something? besides the fact that she is super busy and broke, probably not.....

 

maybe she needs (in my case) to think about all the gifts she got from me over the last three years for valentines day......and maybe miss it or even me.