vhshowdown Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 What hurts more, not knowing where you stand in getting back with your EX, and having them control everything about what is going on, OR being told it's not going to work and being rejected. Although I havent come out and said I want her back totally, so I havent really tipped my hat, cause she says she doesnt want a relationship right now. We went out for her birthday last monday, had great time, she stayed the night. Havent really talked until Saturday, and she was like where have you been, well, she doesnt have a phone so I cant call, then told her I was gonna watch a movie, and she invites me over. Then calls back 30 minutes later, tells me she wont get off work until late. I'm like ok, call me if anything changes. The last thing she says to me is we need to talk when we have some time. OUCH. My heart went into my throat then. She calls me later, asks me if I watched the movie, and I hadnt yet, was just starting to. When it was over, I went to her house and left a note on her door, saying just came by to say hey, etc... She then calls me after I get back home, says she hadnt been home yet, so I tell her I just got back from over there, and left a note. She is like that is sweet!! We talk for a little while, and then she goes I need to tell you something. Promise not to get mad?? So I do, she asks me if I still have the receipt for 1 of her gifts I gave her, she wants to take it back. I have no problem with that. We then hang up the phone shortly after. Now today is Tuesday, my birthday, I havent heard from her since that phone call early early sunday morning. Was the gift what she wants to tell me or is she just stalling?? How come I hadnt heard from her, at least to tell me what is up if she is still planning on taking me out today for my birthday!! Not knowing is driving me crazy!! Oh, and she did break up with someone couple months ago, so she may want to get back with him, I dont know if he is in the picture still or not..... Any thoughts?? Link to comment
De Tourvel Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Dude, gatta let the chick go...some how she seems to be playing around with all that confusement, don't go to close with her...just go with the flow with her games. lol.... Link to comment
Krazy Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 In any case usually not knowing always hurts more. May depend on the person tho Link to comment
TrueHeart Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 I found that the rejection is the worst because it gives you time to set yourself up for disappointment... Having said that, its BECAUSE of the rejection I was able to move on.. So its a double-edged sword unfortunately... at least for me. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 it really depends on the individual situation. In your case, if you don't like not knowing, the only real option is for you to decide for yourself that it is over in your mind and move on, since you can't force a decision to get back with you on her. if you can handle sweating it a little and waiting it out, go for it, just remember you may not get the results you are looking for. I think if it's your birthday and she hasn't called when she previously told you she was planning on taking you out, that's a pretty good indicator that, to sound cliche, "she's just not that into you." Sorry, guy, I hope you will be OK either way. hang in there! Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 Well, she did call me today, sang me happy birthday on the phone. Says she is going to take me out for my birthday this coming weekend. She says she hasnt been feeling good the last day or two. I guess it is awkward cause it is different than just starting to go out with someone new, you dont know alot about them yet. I dont know. Well, I was really hoping to see her for my birthday. So, I am thinking about going over to her house out of the blue, cause it is my birthday, so I figure I can do that on my day!!! LOL Link to comment
circles Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 hope it works out for you Link to comment
dcitgirl Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Good luck with this one, and happy birthday. If I might make a suggestion in that it may not be such a good idea showing up at her place. Coming from a woman that's been around the block a couple/few times, I might think that you showing up at my door unannounced would have dual meaning, like maybe trying to catch me with someone else, or just simply to be in my face. Not saying that she is up to something with someone else, but am saying that men who are always so available, tend to be predictable, resulting in boredom for some women. Again, I am only speaking from the perspective of the most complex of all species. As hard as it may be, might you try letting her wonder what you are up to, and when you might call again? It will for one, give her a little breather, and opportunity to miss you, and secondly give you a better sense of control over your own feelings about what it is that you really want for YOU. In observing your post, I got the feeling that this is too much about her, and not really about what you want. She did call to wish you happy birthday, so if she has intentions of following through on her words to spend time with you on your special day, let her show you that she cares enough about you to keep her word and be proactive about it. Don't be afraid of the possibility of rejection. You'll need to know the truth to be sure that you are putting your energy and emotion into the right person for YOU, whether it's this one or someone else worthy of your affections. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 dcitgirl, that was a GREAT post. It really was. I probably shouldnt have gone over, but, it turned out she blew me off, cause she was cooking for a guy who was coming over in an hour. She says she made plans not realizing it was the 8th. I didnt so much have a problem with her having a guy over, etc., ya it sucks, but she blew me off on my birthday!!! That is what really sucks. But ya I guess in the process the last couple weeks dealing with my EX, I did stoop to being available when she needed me!! I let my feelings drive me to doing stuff I dont like to do. Well, now I know, so I went from not knowing to knowing what is up, so I can now move on!! I am extremely pissed right now!! Link to comment
dcitgirl Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Well V, I'm sorry that you had to learn the hard way, but take comfort in knowing that most of us do. I think that we all in one way or another have an attraction to something or someone that we know might not be so good for us. Something tells me that deep down you knew what you were going to find when you went over there, and congratulations to whatever did urge you to do so. Hopefully though, you will not continue to be a glutton for punishment, and really use this as an eye-opener. Not trying to make you feel worse about it, but what she did was really quite low, and something that someone with enough respect and compassion for other people and their feelings, would never do. She doesn't deserve your love, Sugar so it's time to move on. Best wishes. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 Ya, I had my suspicions. It didnt make any sense that she didnt want to see me on my birthday. I guess I am so mad, at myself, for I knew better. All the mind games she played, but I thought that I could overcome them, and show her the new me, how I have changed. Well, I have changed, but she hadnt, that is where the problem was. Now that I have time to sit back and think what actually happened. She got mad cause I didnt let he give me a Birthday hug. I stepped back. She started yelling about it. I also didnt pay any attention to her rubbin her legs, etc.... I was played!! I also told her not to worry about taking me out for my birthday, save her money!! But I do think it is funny that I did surprise her. She was planning a night, and I stepped in and put a kink in it. I think I probably ruined the moment!!! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAA It sucks to have this happen on my birthday, but oh well!! Hopefully I can use it as a stepping stone... Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 Well now that I have gone from not knowing to feeling rejected, I can answer my own question now. Not knowing I would think about it as well as try to figure out more any way I could, instead of just relaxing and going with the flow. I was not myself, although I never led her to believe I was in turmoil.... Now, feeling rejected, I feel extremely mad and hurt, like I truly lost a part of me. My insides are upside down right now. Hopefully, I can move on from here, as I need to...... Problem is I really wanted this to work this time. We did have good times when we were together the last few weeks. No arguments at all, at least not till last nite. I feel we dont get second chances too often, so when the opportunity comes, we need to make the best of them. Well, I thought I did that.......... All I know is today is draggin and life sucks at the moment!!! Link to comment
harveywallbanger Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 rejection is so much better than not knowing, hands down Link to comment
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