26 and never had boyfriend...something must be wrong with me

[Eaglemountain]

I am a 26-year old female, and I'm at a point in my life where everything seems to be going great. Until now I have been travelling a lot, I have lived in several countries and had wonderful experiences with many different people which made me a very open-minded, understanding, easy-to-be-around person (I think). I am now starting to "settle down", I have a very good responsible job which I love, I make good money, I have very good friends, etc. etc.

 

But one thing that is really starting to concern me even though I try not to let it bother me too much is that I've never had a boyfriend - and I'm going to be 27 this summer!! I used to be rather relaxed about this and kept thinking that the right one is out there for sure, so I never actually started LOOKING for someone, I just automatically assumed that one day we would find each other and then live happily ever after...;-)

 

It's not like I'm a very introvert, shy person, I don't have a problem getting to know people. I do have very good friends, and most of my really close friends are actually male. I think my problem is that I don't fall in love very easily, for example it absolutely NEVER happens to me that I see a good looking guy and think "Wow! I just HAVE to have him!".

 

The only time I fall in love is when I start feeling attracted to someone's inner beauty, and then it's too late because by that time we're close friends already and all I am to him is a "buddy" and at the same time by that time I am scared of telling him about my feelings because it might ruin our friendship. I've been in love twice in my life and both times that's how it was. I get to hear about his woman problems, he calls me when he met a new girl and tells me how great she is and how in love he is, I cover for him when he did something that she's not supposed to know about... I'm the only woman his girlfriends aren't worried or jealous about. He tells me he loves me and that he would never let one of his girlfriends come between us.

 

I feel like I'm SO ready for a relationship but for some reason my concept of having a great friend AND partner does have some minor flaws...

I would be really grateful if someone out there could give me some advice on how to fall in love.

[jarhead]

don't wait so long to find his inner beauty. right when you think you have a chance tell him you like him. and show affection, like a kiss, so he will fall in love with you

[rvr350]

Thanx for posting. I think from what you wrote, you're a happy, confident person. With that said, you have already built a very firm foundation for a sound relationship. You don't need help fall in love, because love will come to you as you find someone as wonderful as you are.

 

I admire your quality that when you look for a "potential" bf, you look beyond the outside. It shows you have the maturity and commitment for a long term relationship. Every relationship needs a little jumpstart, namely attraction. Since attraction never lasts too long, so i think you quality to look beyond the outside will give you a significant advantage in any relationship. We all attract to certain kind of person. (in your case, certain kind of personality) So next time you meet that person, don't hesitate and give him a little wink, a warm smile. Basically, just work your charm up a notch, and any sane men should know that you're interested. It doesn't have to be men has to do all the initialization, you can do it too! PM me if you need more help. Good luck.

[djedgie]

Hi there...

 

You sound alot like a good friend of mine. She is also quite successful in alot of things, but she too has not had a boyfriend, and she is 25. I have spoken to her recently (not really about why she doesn't have a boyfrined). The overall feeling I get from her is fear of rejection/the pain associated with a breakup. I don't know if you feel the same, but the two of you sound very familiar.

 

What I told her, is that not only is pain part of life (and really the factor which moulds you into who you are, and want to be), but the exstasy,fun, and warmth associated with loving someone, I feel, far outweighs the pain. I have been through a few relationships, and I have been hurt a couple of times, but you know what, it doesnt matter because you learn from them.

 

From my point of view, guys also like to be chased, and in a way, I think guys like it more that way. You sound like a really great,thoughtful and wonderful person, someone any guy who is looking for someone to really get to know, and not just as friends, would be greatly attracted to.

Don't ignore little gestures, and don't be afraid to give your own gestures.

 

Lifes not always not about the obvious and in-your-face opertunites, but it's also about the little moments that can disapear like mist of you don't latch onto them.

 

Continue with your life as you are, but put yourself alittle out there... what have you got to loose?

 

let me know about developments...