At my breaking point

[inarut]

Me and my girlfriend have been going through, I've posted many times. I've told lies I shouldn't have. I've given her reasons not to trust me. However I have owned it I want to change, I HAVE NEVER CHEATED OR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE. I have lied about porn that was the big one, but I've stopped partaking and realized it hurts my girlfriend. She dose not understand it is just a tool for masturbation, she thinks I want the girls in the video and she's not good enough.... farthest from the truth, but I can't explain that to her. I'm trying to show her! It's been months, she thinks I lied about a bachelor party I went to. It was a miscommunication about a girl stripping, I said she didn't strip, she didnt, she took her top off for the groom. She specifically asked that question I answered it truthfully. Well I "lied" and now she's heartbroken. I'm feeling low within myself. I'm sad I hurt her, I feel pathetic, and overall depressed. I want her to trust me again, but the doors revolving, she's stuck in her own head. I can't tell her that because I've hurt her, who am I to say that? What are we to do. A break? Break up? Counselling which I can't afford? I need somthing, because I know I've done wrong and I want to make good, but the constant reminders and walking on eggshells is really making me feel horrible.

[melancholia89]

Masturbating isn't wrong. Touching your own body is not wrong. Watching porn isn't wrong; however, some people with sex addiction may take it to extremes, although it doesn't sound like that situation applies to yours. Honestly, I think the problem is your girlfriend. Why does she think that by you watching porn, it would have any reflection on how you feel about her? Why would she have any reason to believe you would prefer to have someone from the porn movies (who are all fake, by the way), when you have a perfectly good relationship with her at home? Why would she take offense to you touching your own body - which you have every right to do? Because she is insecure. Everyone has insecurities and she isn't the only person who feels this way about porn and their boyfriends jerking off. The way she feels isn't necessarily wrong, BUT she should not be influencing your feelings and needs because she is insecure. If I had a boyfriend who got offended when I masturbated or watched porn, I would open the door for him to walk out. Nobody has the right to tell you what you can and can't do to your body, especially if what you do to your body is perfectly normal and healthy. Have you ever asked your girlfriend why she gets so upset over all of this? Clearly it is a problem for you in this relationship and something's gotta give. I do not think your girlfriend is being reasonable at all. If you were seeking out other women and actively pursuing sexual encounters with real women, I would absolutely be concerned, but watching porn and jerking off is not the same as cheating.

[Dottieflanogon]

Maybe she feels shes not pleasuring you enough and your using porn to get yourself off, porn is not all its made out to be and yes I see where she is coming from but in your point of view its better than going out and cheating on her, I wouldnt let it get to you, she is being the typical girlfriend which means she cares!

 

Talk to her about it and maybe have her watch it with you, you can learn alot from this stuff, and it can help you try new things