cheating/being left for someone else

[captcha45]

A lot of people on here have been cheated on or left for someone else. How has this experience changed you as a person (if at all)? Did it change how you view relationships? What did you learn from it?

[kbbcoop77]

Wife of 24 years cheated and dumped me for our 17 year old daughters boyfriends dad. This was 17 months ago so I've done quite a bit of healing. Initially I wanted to date and get into another relationship and I did date a bit 8 months post split, but now I'm enjoying the less stressful life of being single. Not looking for a long term deal at all, not sure if I ever will who knows? But I'm ok being single. Oh and my daughter lives with me.

[kathy679]

For me personally it's left me in a place where I am not bothered about being in a relationship anymore. My ex left me when I had an abortion. He didn't even come with me to have it because that's not what he wanted. He started cheating on me and left me for her.

 

It's sad really That I'm not bothered because I want to be bothered. But in a way it's me protecting myself, because now I can't get hurt. Does that make sense ? Or is there some thing wrong wIth me? .....I'm not too sure?

[Brotherhood67]

My ex wife cheated many times when we were "together" and never loved me. She left with and for someone else. Is still with him today. And she did all of this while we were LDR and while my father was slowly dying.

He died.

3 months later she left with this dude.

 

To answer your question Yes my wife changed me. A lot.

What she did changed me a lot.

Shut down my heart for a while and made me realize what I want in life and my worth.

Made me realize that caring too much is futile. What matters is the other person and the bond you are able to form with him / her.

Made me realize that red flags should never be ignored - even when love is implied - and that fighting our gut feelings is dangerous because, in the end, this gut feelings are likely to be true.

I knew deep inside she was in with me for the money and whatever she wanted to get from this relationship. It was never about me per se.

But I decided to fight this feeling.

I was wrong

[MissF]

My ex left me for someone at work. We were together for 4 years and I was in my last six months of a four year degree doing honours. It was the most stressful time of my life and I nearly gave it all up to end my life but something in me kept me going. I have never grown and matured as much as I did during that time. I learnt how mentally strong I am and that I am capable of achieving my goals. Yes I did struggle to trust someone again but having had the experience of being independent and supporting myself, I know that if anything was to happen in my current relationship that I would be able to cope a lot better this time and it wouldn't be the end of the world.. as I thought it was being a young and over dramatic 21 year old.. haha.

[Raminco]

I've been a cheater. I've cheats several times and got away with it. I'll answer your questions as best I can.

 

How has this experience changed you as a person (if at all)?

 

It didn't really change me. I got good at lying and being discreet both of which are not me. But needs must.

 

Did it change how you view relationships?

 

Not really. The thought of staying with one person my whole life scares the crap out of me. I get bored and then frustrated. I like meeting people and having sex.

 

What did you learn from it?

 

That if I can be careful I can get away with it. I didn't really enjoy cheating, just the sex but everything else that goes with it messes with my head. I'm not happy at home but that's for me to work on. The answer isn't sex with others as much as I love it.

 

I'm gonna wait till the kids are old enough and then I'm off. Until then I'll have affairs if I know I can get away with it.

 

I'm a bad man.

[TheAbandoned]

This question didn't even pertain to you. It was for people who had been cheated on, not the d-bags who do the cheating.