deathproned Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 i have been going out wiht my boyfriend for a couple months now and we both have said "I Love You", but i think i am starting to feel something else for somone else. Im not sure if i like this other person or if i really just dont love my boyfriend anymore. I tell myself that i love John, but then i dont know if i know what love really is. And i think i am staring to regret that i ever told him that i loved him. Then i think i do love him, but i am really not sure. I have my whole life in head of me and should i settle on him or break up wiht him and go for the other guy. And I have secretly always hada thing for this other guy but im not sure if its real. If i were to break things off wiht John i am scared that he will hate me or do something stupid to himelf. I care about John a lot and i dont want to hurt him, but i dont know what to do at all... someone help!!!! Link to comment
DN Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 A couple of months is real quick to say the words with the big meaning. If you have feelings for someone else then you should be upfront with your boyfriend and tell him. You should not stay with someone because you are afraid of hurting them. No good will come of that. Link to comment
No-Fear Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I think DN is wrong, about telling him. You should just tell him you need some space or something of that sort. Cause if a girl told me that...a girl that i loved...i wouldnt think much of myself. So id say if you really like that other guy and hes worth losing a relationship over, then go ahead and tell John something. If not then keep your current boyfriend. And i agree wtih DN on, "You should not stay with someone because you are afraid of hurting them. No good will come of that." I agree 100% its gonna make you unhappy and eventually him. Link to comment
cremebrulee Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I agree. You shouldn't stay with someone because you're afraid of hurting them. And you shouldn't settle for someone just because it is the safe choice. Sure you might break things off with John, go for the other guy and it doesn't work out - but at least you wont be left wondering what could've been. If you will always be thinking about what might've been if you took a chance with the other guy it will always leave you questioning your love for John. I think the best solution is to sit down with him and explain that you are unsure of your feelings at this time and let him know the situation. It is unfair to both John and yourself to deny the truth of your feelings. I hope you find happiness with whomever you choose. Link to comment
DN Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 telling the truth in a relationship (or in ending a relationship) is most often the best course. We have post after post on this site from people who were dumped and saying they need closure. Telling the truth may hurt, probably will hurt, but it does give closure to the person being dumped. Saying you need space or some other non-specific cliche leaves the one being dumped with hope that at some point the relationship will resume. That is unfair, he needs to know the truth so he can get over it and move on. Being tactful in order not to hurt can often be the wrong thing in the long run. Link to comment
toggle Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 does this guy that your thinking of ending your relationship know that you like him? Link to comment
deathproned Posted February 5, 2005 Author Share Posted February 5, 2005 Ok well everything is over. John and I are now officialy over with. When u have something i think you really don't apriciate what you have, But when it is gone you miss it a whole lot. I miss John, but i really believe it was for the best. And the update on the new guy,well i think i want to take a lil time off. I want to make sure that i am ready. And from now on i think i am goign to take things slow wiht my future boyfriends. "I Love You" is going to be far from my vocabulay.. Too much emotional damage to him and me. Well i appriciate everyones advice.. Link to comment
cremebrulee Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I think you have made the right choice. Taking a little time off before starting anthing new is definitely the best approach. Stay strong and be happy! Link to comment
Hazel_Eyes Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 wow..... that sounds like a situation im famililar with but ive been with my bf 2 years..... everythin sounds so similar but i think you need to let him know you feel for this other guy and find whats in your heart to what you want. well i guess thats how i feel actually.. like yeha i guess you knwo how it feels lol. i'm sure you'll make the right decision Link to comment
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