I want to throw it away and begin NC... How?

[lillady898]

I want to throw away all the gifts and such from my exboyfriend because I know it will help me get over him, but whenever I say that I'm moving forward and throwing everything away, he get's mad at me. I kind of think I may want to be friends with him in the future, but he probably won't if I throw it away. It just feels necessary for me to completely heal and get over him, because alot of the letters and gifts are about "forever" and "unconditional love" that apparently didn't happen.

 

Should I just throw it all away? I don't want to and then regret it. But I want to heal.

 

And I keep calling him, but I have to stop. I keep making excuses in my mind. I want to stop! How do you guys pull through with no contact with someone you were in love with so much?

 

You can go to link removed if you want to see a little bit of the recent background. Thanks!

[Yorkrose23]

As far as the gifts go- since you are so unsure about whether or not to keep them-I would box them all up and put them away for safekeeping- but not to look at, just to store. Then decide what to do with them later when you are ready. As far as calling him, what harm is there in that? There is no rule that says you can't talk to a friend, but just talk like friends when you call, not as lovers. The no contact thing isn't for everyone, but if you think that's the best route, get a support system of friends going. And whenever you start missing him, call one of them up instead and go out. Have fun- meet new people. Who knows, you may meet a new man. Good luck!

[allowishus]

that's a good idea. boxing up the things he gave you. i did the same thing. my mom wanted me to get rid of all the things he gave and reminded me of him...but i wasn't ready so i put them all away for now. i'm not in contact with my ex...the reason for this is it's easier for the moving on process. i'd like us to be friends...but now that he has a girlfriend, i don't want to be the one that could not live without him. it's hard. we broke up nine months ago and i am still hurting. you just have to be strong to get over these things. good luck and don't forget you're not alone in this.

[lady00]

put everthing away somewhere where it will be a hassle to access them but where its still possible to retrieve them if you want to see them sometime in the future. If you're not sure you want to trash them then don't because once you do that you will never have them back. Keep them somewhere out of the way, out of sight. Good luck!

[annie24]

You could also put them in a box, and give them to a friend for safe keeping. (A friend that you would trust not to open it!) Or, you can keep the box, but just tape it shut with LOTS of duct tape, so it will take quite a bit of effort to open.

 

I think it's A LOT easier to get over someone if you try not to be "friends" with them. If you're always overanalyzing your conversations to figure out if he still likes you, it's just so hard to move on.

 

As for what stops me from calling an ex? I call a friend. She tells me to remember what he said to me when we broke up. Yuck! There goes the urge to call!

 

Good luck! I hope you get over your ex and better things come your way!

[SugarSweetness407]

Take it from me...if you aren't sure what you want to do at this point just put them in a box and stick it in the back of your closet or something, some place where you won't be reminded of it everytime you walk into your room or something. I made the mistake a while back when my boyfriend made me so angry that i wanted to leave him, and i broke the ring he have me, and the jewlery box and ripped up every letter and card. Looking back now I was an idiot. Even though we didn't work out he was part of my life at one time, and helped me figure out who i wanted to be.

 

As for the calling, just try to keep busy, when you take up your time with fun things for awhile, like hanging out with friends and family and doing things that make you happy, it helps to get your mind off things. If you really want to break away from him right now, its the best thing to do. It doesn't have to be forever, but if you want to clear your head..it really helps to just keep busy.

 

So just think long and hard about it, i dont recommend throwing it away, because you probably will regret it. Just my opinion...hope i could help!

[lillady898]

It's kind of hard to keep busy now, though... I'm sick. I haven't been able to drive, leave the house, etc. I'm trying to find things to around the house, but it's difficult when it hurts to move and I lay down for long periods of time. I get tired when I do strenuous things around the house and stand up for a long time, so I just don't know what to do with myself. Some friends have come over and visited, but after they leave, I'm back to square one. I don't want to ask any of them to stay with me, because I'm sick and I get too tired to entertain guests.