Boyfriend's... Erection (i guess) and i dunno what to do

[Anamarie89]

Okay, this is kind of embarrassing for all parties involved, and I'm really just unsure what to do and how I should feel about it.

 

The thing is that I was giving my boyfriend handjobs and he really liked that (well yeah), but all those times, he had already been erect which made it fun for me. (I'm blushing as I type this so sorry if my words are kind of blunt). But then one time I tried to and he really just wasn't, which sucked and since then I haven't given him one. Then I told myself that if he did get an erection, well, a good one, then I would do it for him (because he asks me all time in puppy eyes, good gosh), but he hasn't, so I haven't, and I haven't told him why.

 

I don't know if I should tell him why (because I mean, it's not like he can do anything about it, right?) or not, or if there's anything else I can do to stop the cycle. It's kind of pissing me off and ruining my attraction to him big time. I mean, I still love him and all when we're not in a sexual situation, but when we are, then it doesn't seem worth it, somehow. Is he just like not attracted to me or... I don't know, I'm confused and it sucks, so can anybody like say anything what you think?

 

Any comments are appreciated because i'm just a scared (virgin) little girl who doesn't know anything.

[asmodai]

As a guy, all i can say is that we're not all sex crazed maniacs 100% of the time - If hes got something else on his mind (eg: family, school, whatever), or if hes gotten into a bit of a cycle- ie: become too anxious about the situation and thats making things worse then this can easily cause him to not rise to the occasion..

 

You could try talking to him about it, but alot of guys are pretty sensitive about this issue, even though its likely to be true what they say that it happens to every guy at some point. If you think it would help i would suggest try some no pressure situations for a while, just be together - make out, whatever, but estabilsh beforehand that you're not going any further. This might give him the space he needs.

[shygirl23]

Are you guys actually doing something at these times or just sitting around? Don't expect it to just pop up out of nowhere. Next time you two are together, if things seem a little slow, then jump on him. Make out, run your hands over him, whatever. Just do something to get him going. Chances are, when things heat up, you shouldn't have a problem with him not having an erection.

 

Also, does it really bother you to stimulate him when he isn't erect? I'm just curious. For a while, my boyfriend wouldn't let me go down on him until he was erect. He didn't care either way, but he thought that I wouldn't want to. I don't know where he got that idea, but I convinced him otherwise, and now I start on him whether he's erect or not. If he isn't to begin with, then you can bet that he is once I start.

 

Of course, if he is having problems getting an erection, then there could be a problem (not neccesarily serious though... don't panic). He could have something else on his mind. Where do you usually do things like this? From what I remember about your post, you're kind of young (about like me, right?), so that probably doesn't leave too many private places for you and your boyfriend to "interact." If you're in the house with parents or whatever, then yeah.. I could see that there could be a problem.

 

Don't panic. This doesn't neccesarily mean that he's lost interest in you. If pouncing on him and giving it your all doesn't work, then why don't you just ask him about it? Maybe he's just not in the mood or something. Don't fret!

[Vanilla]

I really suggest you speak to him. He really could be stressing about something. Maybe you could help him. A lot of guys are raised to neglect their feelings because men dont cry and should hold it in and be tough. That causes a lot of strain in young men and even through their adulthood.

 

This can lead to all sort of other problems, and sex can become one of them. You guys are young so I am sure he is sexually functioning , hehe, but maybe he's just anxious/sad/stressed. Part of a healthy and loving relationship is to be able to let eachother know how you feel. Communicate and empower the trust between you two. It'll make it much better.

 

Let us know how it went, I wish you guys the best of luck!