How do I help my girlfriend?

[ChesterFried]

Hi,

My girlfriend is suicidal. She is 17, turning 18 soon.

 

Lastnight we had an argument, it wasnt even about anything important. But she got really upset, told me to get out of her house. A few min. after that she told me she was going to kill herself. I thought she was just upset and would get over it in the morning. But she ran to her fathers guncabnet and took out one of the rifles. I took it away from her and she ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Once I got into the bathroom I seen an empty bottle of Tylenol 3's and she was eating a bunch of Advil. I took those away from her and then she got very mad. Punching and pushing me.

 

Anyways, after a long night its now morning and she has went to work. What should I do here? I'm really scared that if I leave her alone shes going to kill herself. I've got no idea what to do. I've asked her to go to a councellor but she wont. How should I convince her to go? Any help will be very much appreciated!

[caramellabacix]

If this continue's, and it really seems like she is going to hurt herself if left alone, than you HAVE to tell her parents. Even if she doesn't live with them, they have to know. Because you cannot be with her 24/7, especially if she is angry with you. The fact that she tried to swallow pills and use the rifle shows that she is capable of going through with this threat.

 

And yes, I know that telling her parents would make her even angrier with you, sorry but that is pretty much inevitable.

 

But what would you rather do? Stay quiet or save her life?

 

Of course, most people would say that people who are really suicidal don't go around telling people, and that they just do it for attention.... but you know her better than probably anyone. If it seems as if she will really try to hurt herself, or kill herself, than you have to tell someone who has more power over her and what she does than you do.

[DN]

Is telling her parents an option?

 

My advice if she does this again is to immediately call 911, tell her beforehand that you will do this.

 

You are also putting yourself in danger if she means it - a gun points in all sorts of directions. Also, when you get into physical stuff you could find yourself arrested for assault, even though your intentions were to stop her harming herself you may have difficulty proving it.

[ChesterFried]

Should I tell her that I'm going to talk to her parents about this? She is going to get very mad with me.

 

I was talking to her about this before, and apparently alot of her family is depressed. 2 or 3 of them killed themselves already. And a few others are taking medication for it. Should I try to get her to see a doctor about getting pills?

[NightWind]

Tell her parents, of all people they should know whats happening with their own daughter and they will more than likely help you get some help for her.

 

If you call 911, she will be admitted to a psych ward and that gets put on a record where if future employers see it in her future she may be denyed jobs because of it... (almost happene to my father).

 

She is to an extreme and will probably need medication and councelling to fix this, my friend was in the same situation where if she got very upset she would try anything just to kill herself and it was horrible.

 

Since she has seen councelling and been on meds, she is doing great without any problems...

 

Tell her parents, maybe talk to her father first and put it as nicely as possible that it is really as bad as you're telling him and that you're extremely worried and need help... They are her parents, they will help!

[DN]

Maybe talk to her first. It could be being manipulative. After all, she was doing this stuff in a way that you could stop her.

 

Tell her that you are very worried and are going to tell them - see what her reaction is and try to judge whether she is really suicidal or just using it to get her own way.

 

There is a definite worry that other family members have committed suicide so if you have any doubts at all, tell her parents. Hopefully she will come to see it as a caring thing to do.

[caramellabacix]

I'd have a talk to her and say something along these lines:

 

"Listen, I care about you so much, and I don't want you to hurt yourself. So please, don't try to kill yourself, if not just for yourself and for me, than for everyone else that cares about you in this world. Do you want to upset your family even more? If you continue to act like this then I will have no choice but to get some other person involved, be it a family member or a counselor. If you prove to me that you aren't going to hurt yourself, than nobody else will have to know. If you ever went through with it, it would hurt me so much. Please stop acting so rash and think about it."

[ChesterFried]

Thankyou for all the help. Im going to have a talk with her when she gets home. Hopefully things go well.

 

Thanks again.

[caramellabacix]

good luck !

[Meow18]

I'm sorry, but you can't help her on your own. She is suicidal. She needs serious help. You telling her all that might make her feel better, but the next time you get into an argument, its just going to be the same thing over and over again. Just because you ask her to not be that way doesn't mean its going to happen.

 

You need to try to convince her to get help. Instead of telling her that you care about her and that if she stops acting this way, no one else will get involved, tell her that you care about her so much that you want to take her to get help and you will be with her every step of the way. Tell her you will even go in the room with her.

 

I would think that if she was just depressed, you could handle it on your own, but she's way past that. She actually tried to commit suicide and that proves that she's not just pretending, its for real. She really needs help and if you have to call 911 to get her that help, then thats what you have to do. Don't try to deal with this on your own because it's not that simple.

[ChesterFried]

What kind of help should I try to convince her to get? To go see a doctor, councellor?

[Meow18]

I would think a counsler would be fine. He might be able to tell you if he thinks you would be better off somewhere else.

[thisisnotanexit]

i would definitely keep an eye on her. this is something to be taken seriously, and never hesitate to tell someone. instead of her parents, if you think she's very serious about what she says, you should tell a hospital or the police. they can help you help her. she may be mad at you at first, but hey, you could be saving her life and she will thank you for it in the long run. but yes, be there for her and let her know suicide will solve nothing. that the was she's feeling now isn't going to last forever, and you can two can get through this just fine. but i agree, you can't do this on your own. if she doesn't agree with you about seeing someone, again, call a hospital or the police or something like that. call 1-800-SUICIDE if you're in the US, and if you're not, call the number listed on this site. link removed don't give up on her and don't let her be alone too much. she needs your help right now. visit these sites, they can really help.

 

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hang in there, we're here to help

[CrystalDawn]

A few things to remember are

1. Suicide is not about death it is about pain that as gotten beyond copeing resources

2. Talk to her, tell her you love her, that your there for her no matter what happens.

3. If needed and you must then get her help but try to give her the option of what kind. If she's unwilling to go then if possible offer to go with her and give her support through this. If she is to take meds gently remind her to take them.

 

Do everything you can it can be hugging her and telling her you love her to staying by her side while she's crying to breaking down a door if you have to to get to her. Simple things let her know that you care. If your ever away from her for a long time try to call her and see how she's doing.

Best of luck.

 

P.S. It sounds like your doing great so far so keep up what your doing.