Funny Post: Male/ Female Language Differences

[OceanEyes]

The hate laws in Canada were brought in to prosecute people like Ernst Zundel, a nazi sympathiser who published books and articles saying that the Holocaust never happened, it was all a story made up by the Jews to get sympathy so they could take over Israel (and probably the world) etc and stupid, boring etc.

 

Thanks DN, even though I am completely ignorant about what you're talking about here.

[Beec]

Yes, but I have seen a few of my gf's sit watching a movie with some star they find attractive, and while their guy sits next to them, explain how they think the star is hot, even waving their hand around their neck as if they need to cool down.

 

However, if I watch the same or another movie and comment that a woman is hot, there was all hel* to pay.

 

OK, I admit I am picking a bone on what I see as a double standard. But I like doing that. Someone has to.

[OceanEyes]

I didn't think that a post that was supposed to be funny would bring about such resistance! lol

 

 

 

OY! You're hell-bent on reading me my rights aren't ya?

 

I'd lighten up a bit if I were you. I mean, if I dissected everything like this, I'd probably drive myself crazy. Hey, it's great that you're an expert, but what's wrong with having a sense of irony and humour? I believe that being able to laugh, even when something may be "politically incorrect" is what life is all about. Laughter is good for everyone, and I seriously doubt that if my boyfriend said, "you're so dead later" in a playful fashion, that I would be calling the cops anytime soon.

 

Don't take yourself so seriously, you're going to start feeling like an old man.

[DN]

drahcir says he is an EXPERT on Canadian law because he is a criminology student. Oh, dear, next thing you know he'll be on the Supreme Court of Canada. Without benefit of law school even. Or a sense of humour!

 

My daughter has an HBA in Criminology and it does not qualify you as an expert in law, or even as a lawyer. Even a law degree does not qualify you as an expert in law, That's why they have appeal courts.

 

I think you are safe, OceanEyes, from the eagle eye of the Canadian judiciary system

[drahcir]

drahcir says he is an EXPERT on Canadian law because he is a criminology student. Oh, dear, next thing you know he'll be on the Supreme Court of Canada. Without benefit of law school even. Or a sense of humour!

 

My daughter has an HBA in Criminology and it does not qualify you as an expert in law, or even as a lawyer. Even a law degree does not qualify you as an expert in law, That's why they have appeal courts.

 

I think you are safe, OceanEyes, from the eagle eye of the Canadian judiciary system

 

---Actually your daughter probably is a legal expert. I don't know about criminology in Ontario, but in BC you study the law to death...in fact the legal study is so in depth that a criminology student when graduating here will have the same level of understanding of criminal law as a person who went to law school...thats not exaggeration....its true. Maybe your daughter is more an expert that you think she is...

 

in any case I don't find any of these "jokes" funny. They are bashing people because of their gender and they do a lot of harm and little (if any) good. Even if they are not illegal, they are clearly of bad taste and should be banned....

 

Here is a sample of one "joke" with different characters:

 

“It’s fine. Just do what you want.”

 

The black man may think: Cool! Bye!

 

What the white man is really saying: You are SO DEAD later.

 

---See how discriminatory it is....

[DN]

Criminology - the science of crime rates, individual and group reasons for committing crime, and community or societal reactions to crime.

 

Criminologist - a person who studies criminology; not to be confused with a "criminalist" who reconstructs a crime scene or works with crime scene evidence for forensic purposes.

 

Applied criminology - the art of creating typologies, classifications, predictions, and especially profiles of criminal offenders, their personalities and behavior patterns.

 

Theory construction - an informed, creative endeavor which connects something known with something unknown; usually in a measurable way.

 

Theory building - efforts to come up with formal, systematic, logical, and mathematical ways in which theories are constructed.

 

Theoretical Integration - efforts to come up with grand, overarching theories which apply to all types of crime and deviance.

 

Theoretical Specification - efforts to figure out the details of a theory, how the variables work together; usually associated with a belief that many, competing theories are better than integrated efforts.

 

Theoretical Elaboration - efforts to figure out the implications of a theory, what other variables might be added to the theory; also associated with the belief that theory competition is better than theoretical integration.

 

Variables - the building blocks of theories; things that vary; things you can have more or less of; e.g., crime rates, being more or less criminally inclined (criminality).

[drahcir]

----um okay lets drop the criminology discussion.....the fact is that i feel its wrong to hurt people with "jokes"......some people might find these "jokes" funny but other people are really really hurt by them....you know, some people seriously are hurt by this jokes, so all i am asking is that people be respectful and try to avoid jokes that target people based on sex, sexual orientation, race, religion, ect.....thank you

[OceanEyes]

Drahcir - I am sorry if this offended you. But at the same time, do you not think that there are hundreds of topic here that offend others as well? Everything in life is subjective and open to different opinions and sentiments.

 

Do you really think that I would post something like this if I felt like I was going to hurt/ offend anyone? This is something to consider before passing judgement, or deeming something "unlawful". If you knew that I meant these things literally, and were worried that I intended you harm or mental distress, that would be different. But after having read this over, you seem to be the only person who has really taken what I've said here literally.

 

Everything is open to interpretation, and I respect yours. However, I feel that you have taken what has been said here way too seriously, as it was definitely not my intention to offend you or violate your human rights in feeling 'safe'.

[annie24]

"I feel so fat lately."

 

The man may think: Good god. How can I make a run for it? *panic*

 

What the woman is really saying: I'm feeling a bit insecure and unattractive today. I'd love it if you would pay me some compliments and give me a hug.

 

Have you guys seen the Twix commercial on TV? The girl asks if she looks fat in her new pants, he crams a Twix bar in his mouth fast, and mumbles something. Then she squeals "Ohhhh! Thanks sweetie!"

I love that commercial

[OceanEyes]

^ HA! That's pretty cute. I haven't seen it, even on satellite (which is odd, we get a lot of American channels).

[DragonGirl724]

i saw it, that commercial is HILARIOUS!!!!

 

-DG724

[PAdreamer]

So the complaint here is that a joke was found offensive. A comment was made that basically implied no one should ever make jokes because it could offend someone. Get over it! That's life! Any view, opinion, lifestyle choice, word, phrase, etc, etc, could offend anyone at any time. It is YOUR decision to see things the way you see them. If you're offended by it, it's your problem. If it was something really hateful, like war crimes or crimes against a person, or making fun of a disability or something, then I would understand. But this was a light-hearted joke about the things men and women think. It doesn't warrant "digging a trench to die in", so to speak.

 

People who make a mountain out of a mole hill need to lighten up a little. Life's too short to let little things get your knickers in a twist!

[Beec]

Well, I would think we should all lighten up, but I don't live in a world where everyone lightens up. In the 1960's, Frank Sinatra got on a stage in Las Vegas and told a joke about one of his best firneds, and fellow member of the Rat Pack, Sammy Davis Jr. (It's on a CD, Sinatra live with Count Basie at the Sands. Frank says that the Sands is going to hire Sammy just to clean.) If any white performer did that today, he would be in big trouble, virtually skewered in the press.

 

If I told the old joke about how to stop black kids from jumping on the bed, I'd be looked at as if I had three heads, two sprouting from my neck and another peaking out of my shoe.

 

However, Chris Rock gets on stage and tells jokes that are racially orientated just about every time he performs. He has a routine about how a white man can survive the Apollo. He's told jokes about how "white people ain't got no butts." And instead of being criticized for it, he's a star and is asked to host the Academy Awards.

 

Look at the differences in TV from the 1970's until today. A character like that played by Suzanne Somers on "Three's Company", "Chrissy", would never appear in a modern TV series. Women are rarely portrayed like that today, unintelligent. But men are cast in that light all the time in recent years. I can think of numerous examples in the last decade os so "Tim" on "Home Improvement", "The King of Queens", "Everybody Loves Raymond", etc.

 

Look at commercials. Circuit City puts on commercials in which the man is depicted as having no control and running giddly through the store. Women are not depicted this way in commercials.

 

My point is that there is somewhat of a double standard with regard to what people think is funny and not funny today, as depicted in the media. Is it all one way? No, some jokes do go in all directions, but anyone who watches and tries to figure out if as many going one way or the other, will see that more flows in the direction of making jokes about men than women, etc.

 

Now, the original post here actually makes fun of both men and women, I think. But, I will admit to being more sensitve to most and pointing out the imbalance I see.

 

The other thing that we should understand is that what we see as funny changes. Read Shakespeare who wrote lots of jokes in his plays. His plays are full of jokes making fun of sex. For an example see Troilus & Cressida poking fun of Achilles for homosexuality, look at Nestor's lines. But if you read it, you probably will need it explained that it is a joke to see that it is intended as one. What is thought of as one of the funniest Warner Brothers cartoons of all time is a parody on Snow White called "Coal Black and the Sebben Dwarbs", which has lots of racial jokes and jokes about World War II. The evil stepmother has everything gold, jewls, etc. and TIRES, which were rationed at the time for the war effort. Watch the cartoon (you would need to find a copy, it is never broadcast due to the racial humor), you need to understand the context in order to get the jokes. So, humor and what people think is funny changes.

 

Hopefully, we can learn to laugh some more at ourselves and be careful about the jokes we make. And learn to take ones that make fun of us better.

[DragonGirl724]

Hopefully, we can learn to laugh some more at ourselves and be careful about the jokes we make. And learn to take ones that make fun of us better.

 

ALL i have to say is:

 

 

DAVE CHAPELLE!

 

he rocks! he makes fun of alllllllllll people. no one gets left out. lol and not to mention its primarily his own race. i dont think theres anything wrong with it. if you cant laugh at yourself then you have no right to laugh at anyone else. lol and we all do at one point or another. so everyone needs to lighten up....you'll live longer.

 

-DG724

[OceanEyes]

I agree with the part about "lightening up". There are so many different things that people can make fun of you about, and NOT just having to do with your gender, ethnicity, class level, etc. What about the differences in appearance that drive wedges between people? Things like obesity, being "ugly" (or what society would deem as being), being disabled, etc. These things are, in my opinion, keeping people down just as much as racial and gender stereotypes.

 

I'm from a pretty small town, and every friend I have here makes fun of me for it on a daily basis. They say things like, "isn't the mailman also the sherrif and the doctor where you come from?", or "didn't you have to sleep on a bed made of hay", "rumour has it that your town finally has a household with running water and indoor plumbing", etc. They can sometimes make me, and everything from where I grew up seem very unintelligent and really backwards. If I didn't laugh about things like this, I'd probably have lost my mind my now.

[DN]

is it one of those towns where the traffic report is usually "the east-west traffic light is green"

 

I come from England and live in Ontario - if I didn't have sense of humour!!! Plus, when I visit England, I get it cos I'm now Canadian.

[Beec]

In addition to any of it's other benefits, laughing at yourself is pretty darn attractive.

 

Find me a guy who is balding or bald and make fun of it. When he does, women will be more likely to find he is attractive regardless of how much hair he has. Find me a woman who makes fun of her (for a woman who has them) expansive hind quarters, and she will be more likely to be seen as attractive. Find me a similar size woman or a man with a similar hariline that is defensive about the size or hairline, and I will show you someone not considered to be as attractive.

[OceanEyes]

I agree COMPLETELY about being able to laugh at yourself. It really puts people at ease around you when you can do this. When I first met my boyfriend, he 'accidentily' wore the same sweater on our second date. Halfway through the date, he remembered and started making fun of himself, saying how "unrefined" and "uncool" he was. I did notice it, but thought it was hilarious that he was able to laugh about it (and in turn, made me laugh).

 

Oh and DN -- it's not THAT bad, but compared to Montreal, it is! haha I'll be the first to admit that it's pretty country, but those are my roots! I grew up in Ontario myself actually.

[Iceman26]

Here is my contribution to OceanEyes post:

 

WORDS WOMEN USE

******************************

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 

 

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

 

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

 

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

 

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

 

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.

 

For example:

 

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

 

 

 

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

 

 

 

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

 

 

 

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

 

 

 

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

 

 

 

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

 

 

 

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

 

 

 

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

 

 

 

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

 

 

 

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

[Beec]

Now DN is dissing us guys. At least he seems able to laugh at himself.

[DN]

Huh? Wassat? sumbdy talkin' 'bout me agin?