help, its been a year

[pete2002]

hi i broke up with my girlfriend of four years almost two years ago, followed by her wanting to get back together with me for a year, and then things switching and me trying to get back together wtih her for teh past year.

 

i was real depressed last year at this time. she started dating someone about a year ago. i am A LOT better now that i was.

 

the problem is that she tells me how much she cares about me, and even says that she would date me if she wasnt with her boyfriend, and that in many ways i understand her better than anyone. I know this makes me her safety net, im smart enough to figure that out. but i have trouble getting her out of my head, i think about her a hundred times a day, and sometimes i feel like im waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend and date me. her friends like me more, her parents like me more, i think even she likes me more. i know that if we date again, we'll get married. i know she knows that too. but right now shes committed to seeing if she will stay forever with her new bf.

 

i dont know. i just cant get over her. shes amazing, smart, lawyer, really loved me a lot before i sorta messed it up. i dont know. i guss how can you get over someone who leaves the door open, who lives a block away, who you konw you want to be wtih and who you know still loves you?

 

im very thankful for all yoru advice. it means a lot to me. i have a great life, im a physician, im still young (25), great family and friends, but i cant get this girl out of my head, partially because of her, and partially because i want her back.

 

thanks

[DN]

If she really loved you she would be with you not the boyfriend. Sorry to be blunt but that is how I see it. Also; if she loved you she would not be tormenting you by dangling hopes of reconciliation before you. That is not the behaviour of someone who loves.

 

You are a physician, used to diagnosis, which means to examine the facts before you and then come to a conclusion. Bring your rational and reasoning skills to bear on this situation, try to be as objective as you can. Having sone that, project the most likely prognosis and deal with that.

[sasha12]

honestly it doesn't sound like your doing any better getting over her than you were doing before. I think for your own good you might want to consider cutting off ties with her, for the sake of your own happiness. Your putting all your thoughts into someone that you may not be able to ever have . I know it's hard but you need to start thinking about yourself and searching for happiness else where this is just my opinion but good luck to you.

[cassiana]

I know what its like to be stuck on someone. its terrible.

As for the door open. Even if you entertain hope you must realise you are either a couple or not. You are not and you must assume that you never will be. You will drive yourself nuts analysing everything. That's what I do and its exhausting and depressing. Yes its hard not to.