stop me sending this email !!

[sdw]

I'm so mad at my ex, I sent her an email asking if she really wanted to be friends and she hasn't replied. Her actions have totally contradicted what she always said. Silly me has tried to be her friend, I am sooooo tempted to send her this

 

"Well I guess the fact that you haven't replied (again) answers the question really. It's sad that of all the friends I have, you've become the most distant ! If you had said lets not try to be friends, or I'm only going to say "i want to be your friend" but really I don't care whether we see each other again, then you could've said that. Well at least I tried my best!"

 

 

Please tell me not too ! LoL

[hockeyboy]

how long ago did you send the email

[ShuShu Fontana]

I know it's frusterating but save yourself the further frusteration by not sending this email. This is where you have to choose for yourself how you're going to be. Choose not to be her friend. She's not being one to you. Sometimes we have to accept that things aren't going to be spelled out for us. Yes, it hurts to think that someone who was once so in love with us no longer wants to associate with us, but it's their loss. Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?

Save your dignity before you lose it all and don't send it. Yell, scream, throw things, but don't send that email.

[sdw]

I sent her this, and the sad thing is I feel pretty good about it what a cow !

 

"OK - when we broke up it was you that said "we'll always be best friends" despite me doubting it at the time. I'll be surprised if you even read this to be honest. You have never emailed or phoned except in response to me, you never like to find out how I'm doing, you must have the busiest most important job in the world !! I was obviously a fool for thinking that even though we weren't together I was still "important" to you, how important could I have been !? Your actions (or rather lack thereof) since saying these things have spoken volumes. I wish I had never tried to be your friend, the friend I thought you wanted me to be because it's been a total waste of my time and emotions. I really wish i understood after all we went through and the good times we had what it was I did that p****d you off so much that you felt it best to cut me out of your life, but I suppose I never will. Well at least I can say to myself in future that I did try."

 

Feel free to berate me because I know I'd berate the sender of such an email to their ex. I would say to them don't even bother they're not worth it, but I get so wound up. She wont respond so who cares anyway, at least it's off my chest.

[sdw]

sorry hockeyboy - in response to your question I sent the first email about 6 hours ago. Anyway it's done now, friendship wasn't working anyway so it's no loss. Do you still speak to your ex btw ?

[hockeyboy]

you only waited 6 hours? isnt is possible/likely that she just had not gotten the email yet?

 

and yes i speak to my ex but i dont chase her

[sdw]

unlikely because she got and replied to another one I sent within 10 minutes. I amn't chasing her, I was letting her know what I think of her - but you're right it's the behaviour of a loser, but stuff it I was always upfront with her and I normally tell people who are rude to me when I think they are being. It would have been the umpteenth email she had ignored since saying "you'll always be my best friend". Even emails that were chatty and friendly, i guess I'm not so good at taking the hint there. But nothing has been lost anyway since she obviously stopped caring a long time ago.

[hockeyboy]

if your trying to get her back you should have waited.

 

if you dont want her back...then who cares what she thinks

[Bibora]

Well, im in the same boat as you. Should i mail her?

Well my head says no, my heart says go ahead. My head says my heart will always hurt if i keep on contacting her, trying to be her friend. My heart wants it... So i need to analyse it. That's the 1st step. Will it be better or worse to be friends. Maybe in time, that is what i think right now.

ok step one is done.

Now the most important one. Does she wants to be friends with me? That's step 2, and one that i cannot do anything to it. It's her call. If she doesn't want to be friends i have to accept it.

And its the same with yours. Ok you wanna try to be friends. Are you sure of it? Is it what you really want? But even if you are sure, what she wants its what she wants. So no matter how much emails you send or not. Its her call...

If you wanna do it, be ready for everything.

[sdw]

I did try to be her friend, like a fool. At first as I suppose we all do thinking well maybe if she says things like we'll always be best friends she means it and that isn't so bad. But she only contacted me once I think and that was to ask me to do a favour for her. Who needs that sort of friendship ? If you send an email, you have to be prepared for the fact that the person you once adored and adored you is prehaps the coldest person on the planet.

[Strandysmommy]

she either was trying to think of a way to deal with the first email. A way to reply to it, because it seemed a little emotionally charged, or she was just picking and choosing what she was going to deal with. So this could have two potinetnal outcomes: she ignores that email you sent and leaves you alone, or maybe just tries to still be your friend. OR she gets freaked out because it came totally out of nowhere. She was still trying to deal with the first one when suddednly this one came up. That might not be a good thing; I know it sucks, but when you've only interacted with a person as a signifigant other it can be really hard to know how to interact with someone as just a friend. I know; I can't really deal with my ex as just a friend. I don't know how yet, and really I am still considering him a coward for waiting until he was hiding behind 2000 miles to dump me for things that (ahem) could have been brought to my attention several MONTHS AGO! (thank you Mr. Adam Sandler)

 

Nah, let her go. It hurts, but sometimes in that hurt you end up feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off of you. You don't have to deal with the hurt of ignored e-mails, you don't have to think about her and who she's with or anything. It's done now, like you said.

[ShuShu Fontana]

After reading the email you *did* send her I am even more convinced you shouldn't send her a second. In your frist email you said you didn't care and that you knew she wasn't a good friend and that her actions spoke louder than her words. Sending her a second email just shows that you didn't mean those words, that you're not over it and that it still bothers you. Don't give her that. You said your piece, now walk away.

 

If you aren't over an ex you have no business being friends with them or having contact with them.

 

My ex isn't speaking to me anymore and I don't know why. I wanted to ask him but there's no use as I'll never know the real reason. He too, told me often how important I was to him and never acted like it. He obviously has a problem and it's *his* problem. You ex has a problem and it's *her* problem. Not yours. This is the part where we walk away.

[Wimpy]

Steve

 

DON'T SEND IT. What you're saying on this forum and what you're "saying" in those e-mails is totally contradictory. If you really aren't bothered...why are you so bothered????

 

6 hours - do you even know she GOT the e-mail?

 

Calm down and let it go. You are only giving yourself further upset and hurt.

[FleX]

We told u not to send it and you do the exact opposite. What's the point in giving you advice if your not going to listen to it?!? Give her space dude. She will respect you and you'll thank yourself later on. Don't keep pushing and even asking about friendship. Just back off and cut her off completely. If she wants friendship let her come to you.

 

Hope things turn around for you bro.

[sdw]

Well I was annoyed that she always said stuff like I really want us to be friends and then has been rude to me (i.e. once arranging to meet up as I was going to to her a favour and then "forgetting" what time we had arranged to meet and having me wait around for 25 minutes). I feel as though putting up with that sort of crap just cos I once loved her and would have liked to salvage a friendship is bad for my dignity. So I told her to stuff it effectively, she may think whatever she likes frankly but my pateince has been exhausted (some may say there was never much !!).

[FleX]

Games games games... if everyone stopped playing these games we would have less hurtin... and more lovin!