My email to my Ex...after meeting her new bf.

[Universe]

I just sent this email to my ex. What do you guys think?

If you don't know my story, here it is in brief: Together 5 years. Broke up over 4 months ago. She went straight to someone new. A little over two months ago I tried to get back together and found out about her new man. She said she had thought she had fallen out of love with me, but realized that she hadn't and didn't want to be dating this guy. But she wasn't ready to get back together. She said she loved me and did not love him. Since then we've hung out every one or two weeks. We've had a great time and I've been very cool and confident. I've spent the time apart the way every dumpee should. I've focussed entirely on myself and my own issues. I've worked out regularly. Focussed on my work. Read books. Met new people. Tried to date. I focussed on creating pleasant positive moments between me and my ex and did not bring up getting back together at all. She said nothing more of her new man and I wondered if they were still together or not. Finally, last week I ran into her by chance at a bar. Her new man was there and she introduced me to him. When I asked her if they were "together", she wouldn't say. I kept it very comfortable and just said, "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine." But I was very surprised to see that he was a total troll. I was disgusted that she had left me for someone far less attractive, not to mention he's 37 and she's 25. I'm 26. Prior to this chance meeting, we had plans to go horseback riding that weekend (last weekend). We went and it was immediately uncomfortable unlike our prior meetings. It came out that she and this guy ARE together. She asked who I'd been balling. I said, "Nobody. Some people have standards." A few minutes later she broke down crying. After the horseback riding, we had dinner and talked for about 4 hours about her and I, her and her new man, the future, the past, and the present. She cried the entire time. She knows this guy is totally beneath her and had nothing but bad things to say about him. She made it sound as if she had been totally passive and he imposed the girlfirend-boyfriend label on her. He clearly pursued her heavily. I believe her but I still hold her responsible for actions. And I forgive her. I apologized for my comment about standards but she just said, "Don't be. You're right. It's true." She's obviously very confused and depressed. She doesn't want to hurt him and is afraid of hurting me. She said she still loves me. He told her he loved her and she could not say it back. I was very undertanding and warm and promised I would be there for her no matter what. I've left her alone for the past 3 days. I called her last night just to see how she was doing, nothing more. I got her answering machine. I just wanted to show her how much I care. I know she needs to be left alone right now. So I just sent her this email and now plan to just sit tight until she contacts me.

 

This is the email... What do you all think?

 

Dear [universe's Ex],

I'm sorry to do this now. But I just want to make sure a few things are perfectly clear. I was pretty surprised that you didn't seem to know how I felt. I thought it was obvious. But thinking back on what I've said in the past, I can see how I was less than clear. I think I was fairly clear when I spoke to you on Saturday, but a lot was said and emotions were high. I don't know how articulate I was. So I don't want there to be any more misunderstandings.

First, I love you very deeply and want you to be happy no matter what that means for me. I think I've made this quite clear. So I won't elaborate further.

After that, I feel the main misunderstanding has occurred over what I want. So here it is: I want to get back together. I want to take it slow. I want to approach it as something altogether new and detached from what we had before. I feel I've grown tremendously and am a very different person than I was before. I want you to get to know the new me. I think we've both just gone through something very traumatic and it would be silly for us to dive into the deep end at this point.

I recognize that you are confused. I don't want you to come back to me confused. I want you to come back to me on your own terms. I realize that you have felt the need to see and sleep with other people. I respect that. I do not and will not hold that against you. Sex with other people has and will certainly be different from sex with me. I will understand if you still feel the need to experience more than one person. I will say that my sexuality has been the prime focus of my growth for the past months. The other day I think you said something in reference to our history like, "The sex couldn't have been better." -- or something like that. While I took that as a compliment, I must say that I strongly disagree. I know now that we've barely begun to scratch the surface of our sexual personalities. I see now how my attitude, among other things, stifled both of us in the past and now I am dying to show you how different it will be and how far our sexual imaginations can take us.

At this point, I cannot paint a crystal clear picture of what the dynamic between us would be if we did get back together. It's impossible to say without your input. But obviously honesty must be at the core. I mentioned the notion of an open relationship at dinner the other night. But I only brought it up to illustrate just how much freedom I was considering. I would like to think I could handle a relationship like that. But I will be honest with myself. Based on my reaction to your relationship with [her new man], it's pretty safe to say that I would not be able to handle that kind of relationship. So I should make it clear that I am still living in the realm of monogamy, though I'm open to trying just about anything.

I believe we should give each other space. It's clear that we both need it not only for our emotional health, but for the health of our art as well. So I think we should be comfortable with asking each other to be alone at any moment without feeling guilt or rejection. We should also feel comfortable taking extended periods of time to ourselves in order to allow our respective muses to arise naturally.

I worry that I'm getting ahead of myself here. So I'll stop. I think I've been clear enough about what I want.

As far as the immediate future is concerned: I know you are confused and depressed about a great many things. I do not expect you to be able to deal with my wants at this point in time. You can take as much time as you want to sort it out as far as I'm concerned. As a friend independent of my desire to get back together, there are a lot of things I would like to tell you that I think would help you to sort things out. But I will not impose them on you. If you feel you can trust me to advise you honestly and with no consideration for my desire to be with you romantically, then feel free to come to me for that type of advice. I've given it a lot of thought and would feel very comfortable doing so. But I will understand if you do not trust me to separate my love and respect for you from my desire to be with you.

 

I am here for you however you want me.

 

Feel free to contact me at any time or not at all. You are not obliged to me in any way at this point.

 

Love Always,

[universe]

[PrincessLinzay]

Now, most of the time I am very anti-letter. But I must say, I would be very touched to receive a letter like this from any of my exes. There was no finger-pointing, no blame, it was simply you telling her your feelings, making your position clear, and offering support in whatever she chooses. Im suitable impressed.

 

It's clear to me that you care a great deal for this woman, and I commend you for your mature approach. If she's smart, she'll see what a catch you are.

[heartbroken23]

Wow, universe, it scares me how much my stories resemble yours. They are so identical. Check them out, they are in this forum. Look for my name as the author. Later

[JoyieGracie]

Clear. The word you deffinetally used a lot, but proved it, because, yes what you wrote would probably be very "clear" to this person. I just hope you keep all those promises you made if it does work out, if you have in fact, "changed". I would never promise anything, but that is great that you feel stongly enough to. Also, "You are not obliged...at this point" as well as other sections of your letter, sounded very "business-like". However, I do believe that your letter, overall, will be very meaningful to the receiver. Good luck!

 

 

J Y

[Universe]

She responded. I normally would not paste her email here. But since it's rather empty and I do not understand its purpose I will...

 

[universe],

I read this today [my email]. I just want you to know that. I've been working on

stuff all day and I'm not in the mental state to respond to your letter

at the moment. I know that you said you understand that. Thank you. I

have to set limits on how much emotional information I can process at

one time because I don't want to have a nervous breakdown. However, I

really appreciate your taking the time to spell things out for me. It

helps. I had a good time with you on Saturday, and I'm happy that we had

a chance to talk about things for real.

I'll talk to you soon.

[universe's Ex]

 

Nervous breakdown!?!?! What does that mean? I was afraid my email might pressure her. But geez! I certainly do not want that!

 

What do you all make of this? Why would she bother responding like this when I made it clear she didn't have to respond. Why did she bother if she wasn't ready to say anything?

 

I'm definitely not planning to contact her again until she contacts me. Do you all agree with this? I certainly don't want to pressure her any more.

 

What do you think?

[twelve]

maybe just send a reply saying hey thanks for the reply, but i just want to reaffirm that there is no pressure here, I just wanted you to know, its fine that you don't feel up to getting back to me again.

 

Kinda thing,

What do you think?

She cares, so much that she is worried about writing the wrong thing, she wants to reply when she has time and energy to sit down and make it right

I don't think you should take this as bad at all.

[twelve]

i find it respectful that she let you know that she can't write her full reply yet.

[Universe]

maybe just send a reply saying hey thanks for the reply, but i just want to reaffirm that there is no pressure here, I just wanted you to know, its fine that you don't feel up to getting back to me again.

You think? I mean - I would like to make sure she knows that there's no pressure on my end. But I'm really apprehensive about contacting her again until she shows me that she's ready. I think it's possible that the simple act of contacting her at all applies pressure in a way. It forces her to think about me when she may be trying to focus on how to get rid of this other guy. I don't want to interrupt that process.

Does anyone else think I should email her just reaffirming that there is no pressure?

[Universe]

Ok - we had our talk a week ago Saturday (10 days ago). I called her Tuesday night just to see how she was doing. I left a message saying this and nothing more. She didn't call back. Then I wrote the above email that you've all commented on. Then she wrote that reply the next day (Wednesday). Then NC for the past 6 days.

Finally, last night she called and left a message. My cell phone shows up as a blocked number on people's caller ID (through no choice of my own). She has one other friend who has the same thing on her phone. Her message said that she saw there were two missed calls that were from a blocked number and no message. So she was calling me back if they were me. They weren't me. I called her back and got her voice mail. I was pleasant and said, "No, the calls weren't me. But I'm calling you now. So call me back whenever." I was very torn because I don't want to pressure her but I feel this tension building between us because of the talk we had and the email I wrote.

So 1.5 hours later I called again. She answered. She said she was exhausted and sounded so. She said she'd just gotten my message but was tired and had just laid down. So I was positive and asked if she was doing ok. She just said she was tired. I confirmed that we were still on for the concert on Thursday. She asked about my album. I'm in the middle of recording an album right now with my band. I told her about it a little but respected the fact that she was tired and didn't really want to talk long. So I just said I wanted to clear the air a little bit. I said, "I'm not really sure what happened the last time we hung out. I only sent you that email because I was surprised that you didn't know how I felt and didn't want that to be misunderstood any longer." She apologized that her response had been so brief and that she really wanted to respond in full even though I hadn't asked her to. I told her, "I'm not making any demands here and I don't expect you to decide what my station in your life is going to be right away." She said, "Thank you. And thank you for your email." She said to keep up the good work on the album and I told her to get some rest. She seemed pleased and I was pleasant as we hung up.

 

So I don't think she was calling to "talk." But it was little bit of a stretch for her to assume the blocked calls were me without my leaving a message. I don't know. Do you guys make anything of that?

 

At any rate, was it bad that I released the tension like that? Should I have kept it in the air. I wonder now if that was the best thing. I wanted to make sure she'd be comfortable hanging out with me again soon.

I just feel like this could easily go either way right now. I know that S is not going to go down without a fight. He's gotten this far. He's obviously going to fight tooth and nail to get her to stay with him. I don't feel like I can effectively pull back without establishing myself as more of a consistent figure in her life. We only see each other or communicate about once ever 10 days or so. I want to be with her more often so it makes more of an impact when I do pull back (if it comes to that).

So am I back to where I was? Should I start arranging more hang out time and planning fun things to do together? Whether she wants to or not, she IS his girlfriend at this point. Should I even pretend to dance around their relationship? I mean - my intentions are out in the open. She hasn't said one way or the other what she wants to do now that she knows my intentions.

Should I just go for it full force until she gives me a sign to hold back? Or should I pull back now? I want to give her time to think and figure things out. But I also want to show her that I'm serious and that I REALLY want to show her how much I love her? Like - shouldn't I try to give her a preview before she decides whether or not she wants to watch the movie? I can't tell if she really needs time to herself to think clearly and I should just leave her alone. Or should I really show her where I'm coming from and try to sweep her off her feet?

 

I'm starting to feel sorta lost here.

Anyone?

[twelve]

no don't go full force now it may scare her away and have the opposite effect you want, as much as you want to.

You have come this far.

If I were her, I would respect you a lot right now, and if I were chosing, the more respectable and less full on person would appeal.

You can't force her to want to be back with you, she needs to want to be anyway and things are probably very hard for her right now, she is likely very confused.

All you can do is wait forher response but don't put your life on hold (as much as is poss - i know that's hard)

If you aren't around, she'l miss you, and come to you.

She knows you are there and what a gentleman and mature special person you are, look at how you are treating her and communicating?

Let her get sick of the guy.

Let him get full on if she steps away from him

She wouldn't be hanging ou/making dates with you perhaps if he was her everything

 

If you aren't around, and she doesn't miss you, she was never going to break up with that guy anyway, and may have used you or it may hurt you.

NOt saying that will happen, but I suggest you now step back, you've done all you can and said all you can, anything else you do now without her input would be to your detremint.

If you get back (fingers crossed, fate etc), and she contacts you... THEN seduce her.

[Universe]

ninelives, Thank you so much. I think you may be right, but there are some things that are concerning me about my case. Please humor me and tell me if you think I should still pull back now as opposed to pursuing and then pulling back.

First, I never did the whole begging, pleading her to come back thing. I've been fairly calm and confident since the very beginning of the breakup. I've never really pursued her hard. I've just respected her decisions and tried to give her time and space. So do you think she may not be sure I'm serious? Do you think she may want to see the passion I have for being with her as opposed to just being cool all the time?

Second, I haven't really done NC for any considerable period of time. But we barely saw each other the first couple months. Then after I tried to get back together and found out about her new guy, I started hanging out with her once a week in a very comfortable friendly context. I never called her except to make plans. This went on for a month. Then I started pulling back a little around x-mas and I've basically only seen her about once every 10-14 days since then. So my problem here is that I haven't been around her enough for her to be used to my presense. So that when I pull back, there's no way for her to really notice. My contact with her has been too evenly spaced out and too infrequent. So I worry that I haven't given enough for her to miss.

Third. I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I'm definitely starting to crack. Last night I had a major breakdown. It hasn't been this bad since I first found out about her new lover.

I went to a concert with her and some of her friends last night. We had a good time and I kept my cool, made them laugh a few times, kept it comfortable. This is the first time I've seen her since our big talk 12 days ago. She's still with the other guy. I had called her the night before to confirm plans for the concert and she was out to dinner with him. She acted annoyed on the phone. Then last night she said that she had been annoyed because "S" is really moody and was bringing her down because he had to appear in court that day and was stressed. He's getting sued and apparently it's not going well.

So here goes that blasted thing they call hope. I hope that she just hasn't broke up with him yet because she didn't want to hurt him like that right before he had to speak in court. That's my hope. But it's a weak one.

I really lost it the second I dropped her off. I haven't been that angry in a long long time.

I'm really cracking. I'm gonna lose it if I have to wait much longer.

 

Do you really think I should just wait for her response? Not contact her until she contacts me? Or does what I've said above change your opinion? The longer this goes on, the more help I feel like I need.

Thank you so much for posting. It really means a lot right now.

[Universe]

you've done all you can and said all you can, anything else you do now without her input would be to your detremint.

I think you're right. I should wait for her input. We'd been planning to go to that concert for a month. But now that that's over we have no planned engagements. We're not bound to see each other ever again. So maybe I should leave it like that and just wait.

Question: If I'm waiting for her, should I just ignore Valentine's Day? What would be my best course of action for v-day all things considered?

 

But you're right. She hasn't given her input yet. I should wait.

[detox5]

valentines days is for lovers right? your not lovers, i wanted to do something for my ex, so dont, that day means nothing to us both!

[twelve]

ok i have read all that, and first, here's a big *HUG*

add me to your msn if you want

my advice right now, step back don't push anything, i stll feel it's very clear that you are there for her and love her.

If she doesn't know that she's stupid Sounds to me like this guy isn't doing her any good..

Being sued?

What a winner, bet that stress is mkaing her really want to be with him.

She's in a tough situation right now and ima fraid only time will tell here, i don't think adding pressure to her will help.

She needs to decide on her own in her own time for the relationship to work and last if you get back.

*fingers crossed for you*

For Valentines day, send her a card, a non full on one, just saying you love her (if you say that kind of thing still) or simply that you care for her and hope she enjoys her valentines day, you wanted her to know.

That's all.maybe say from your friend "insert name here".

that way, she knows you aren't pushing, but still feel strongly for her, and her response (it may take a while be patient) will let you know a lot.

You are not lovers, but Valentines day is also for people who love each other.

What doy ou think?

To the poster above:

do you not have anything else to say?

-time-

[detox5]

I just dont think valentines days is really a good idea, its for couples, its not for ex's, she knows he loves her, why would he need to send a card to say it, its even more pressure and thats not he wants right now.

 

Valentines day is a bad idea, shes not your girl, shes his, why do you think its such a good idea to send a valentines day card to the ex? I dunno what can be achieved by it, or what message it will send?

[twelve]

ok i have thought about it you are right.

don't send a valentine.

what i meant also was do you have any positive advice for our friend here?

[Universe]

It's funny. I hadn't even considered just sending a card. I think a card would be perfect.

You are not lovers, but Valentines day is also for people who love each other.

I think this is what I would say. "I know we're not lovers, but Valentine's day is also for people who love each other." Then I would sign is "Your Friend"

Phew - that's a load off. Thank you.

 

OK - update: I had been feeling good after my breakdown thursday night. I felt empowered in my decision Friday to start proactively trying to forget her. Then she called Sunday night. She just wanted to say, "Hi." We chatted a bit. She mostly just told me about her weekend. She didn't spend it with him. She just relaxed and watched movies and did logic puzzles. She also did a yoga class. Anyways - it was short and we hung up after about 10 minutes. Then I felt really hurt again and confused because I totally lost my "forgetting her" mindset. I pined over it the rest of the night and all day yesterday.

Then last night she called again. Two days in a row! That's new. She apologized over and over for calling me two days in a row and said she didn't want to bother me. But she felt really alone and confused. She said, "I need to talk to someone who's not dillusional, who's not crazy, and who's not stupid. And you're the only person I know that fits that criteria." That made me feel good. We chatted a bit and she was glad to talk to me. So I suggested we meet for drinks. She was all about it.

I picked her up and we went to a bar. We talked about things very openly. We talked about her problems, our past, relationships in general, and the people we know. It lasted over 3 hours. Towards the end I started to feel taken for granted. Here I was giving her the emotional support she needs and being her crying shoulder and then I have to watch her go back to bed with this clown.

But on the way home she started talking about what's really happening. We talked outside her building in the car for a while and basically had a mini-repeat of the scene two weeks ago. Although, this time she's a bit more clear-headed and focussed. She definitely seems to have a better handle on things. But she still doesn't know if she wants to start dating me again. She said she'd understand if I didn't want to see her anymore. I asked if that's what she wanted, and she said no. She said she loves me and thinks I'm sexy and attractive and smart and fun. But she said she didn't really understand what dating me would be like or how it would work. I explained that I thought she would need a period alone in between dating her current bf and me. I said I didn't want to go back at all. I said I wanted to build on the friendship we have now and that honesty would be the only thing I expected from her. I said I know how to distinguish my needs from my wants and that I would not impose my needs on to her.

She had more bad things to say about her current bf (like his imposing his needs on her) and reitterated that he was forcing the bf-gf label on her and that there wasn't really a future for them. But she said she didn't know how to handle it. I told her, "As your friend looking at your situation objectively, this is what I see: You only have bad things to say about him; you started dating him two weeks after a 5 year relationship so he's obviously a rebound, you don't see any real future between you, and you feel ashamed of the fact that you're with him. So any friend with this information would recommend that you break up with him." I know this was a ballsie move, but I disclaimered it well and made very clear that I was removing my subjective desire. Anyways - she agreed. I tried to empathize with her and said, "I hope I never have to break up with anyone. It's gotta be a horrible thing to go through. And he's not gonna go down without a fight."

We had a long hug goodbye and then she kept talking. We had about three long hugs goodbye with talking in between before she got out of the car. She thanked me many times for not being dillusional, crazy, or stupid.

She looked really good. She looked healthier than she has in a while. I think it was the weekend of rest and the yoga. She normally looks so strung out and tired. I was employing a lot of self-restraint by not jumping on her and kissing her all over. She was making me fall in love with her yet again. For the first time in a long time, I'm actually high from it, not depressed. When I went home after dropping her off, I didn't get all down the way I usually do. I felt uplifted. I felt like there was hope. I felt like I'd really helped her and that she appreciated me for it. Maybe it's because she kept saying that I was the only person that didn't make her feel frustrated and annoyed.

Maybe it's the fact that this is the first time she's openly initiated contact for the expressed reason that she needed me. And it feels good to be needed, especially by the person you love most in the world.

 

I think I will continue with NC and just wait for her to initiate contact until she breaks up with this guy. Until then, a short sweet and friendly card will suffice for Valentine's day.

 

What do you guys think of all this? Is she coming around? Are these good signs? Still no way to know? Are these bad signs? I don't want to get my hopes up. It sure is taking a long time for her to make up her mind. What do you think?

[Universe]

I'm focussing on letting go. I've done all I can. I can't be of any use to her or to myself by continuing like this. I will make no attempts to initiate contact. If she initiates contact, I will be there for her. If she calls, I will call her back. Eventually, I will start taking longer to call back and will actually be busy with other things sometimes.

This is not a strategy, although I feel it would be a good one. But it's not a strategy. It's entirely for me. I'm truly letting go. I know in my heart that I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I must let my heart go if I'm ever going to know for sure that it's what I really want. I've set her free. If she comes back, it will be for real. But that's not enough. I have to set my own heart free. If it comes back, I will know it's for real.

 

Thanks so much for your input. I now feel empowered and enabled. I feel ready to live my life as if she's gone and I'm on my own forever. And that's the only way to be prepared to handle a relationship of the magnitude that she and I would have.

[twelve]

Good luck Universe, would you keep me updated?

NOw it's up to waht's meant to be.

You are doing the right thing.

 

xoxox

[twelve]

PS: it looks good by the way, I have read your above post.

But yes you are very right in stepping back now.

Protecting yourself is what you need to do, she sounds pretty f***ed up right now and needs to sort herself out, on her own.

Don't give too much to her now or she will take you for granted.

What you have done is awesome and only proved that you are miles ahead of the idiot shes with and doesnt seem into, but leave it now and see what she does.

[Universe]

Exactly one week of NC after we hung out last, she called me last night. I was picking up one of my band mates and driving him back to the studio to do some recording when she called and said she just passed me going the other way in her car. She seems pleasant and excited that we "crossed paths." I asked her if she received my Valentine. I had made her a silly drawing in Microsoft Paint and sent it to her with a bag of Twizzlers. She loves Twizzlers. She hesitantly said yes, but that I hadn't signed it. I was confused because I had. So I asked her what it was because I wasn't sure if it was mine. She said is was a black pearl neclace. She assumed it was me who sent it because I had bought her a black pearl neclace a few years back for Christmas that she loved and wore all the time. I told her it wasn't me and must have been a secret admirer. She said, "I don't know why, I'm not a very admirable person." I guessed if it wasn't one of her brothers or her father or "S".

Then she said that she was just calling to see if I wanted to get a drink or something. I had just picked up my bandmate so I said I couldn't do it for another couple hours. I told her I'd call when we were done in the studio and we hung up. Then she called back a couple minutes later when she got home. My Valentine was waiting for her at home and she had called to thank me and that she thought is was really funny and liked it a lot.

I regretted my agreeing to meet her for drinks. I felt like I should deny her and had a good enough excuse. But it was fricken' Valentine's Day. It was Valentine's Day and she was asking to hang out with me. So I couldn't refuse.

So after dropping my friend off, I went and picked her up and we went to a Karaoke bar. We both sang and embarrassed ourselves. We talked over few drinks. She talked more about her problems and sorting them out. The main topic was her decision to start seeing a shrink. I agreed that it would be a good idea. She said that she doesn't feel anything. She said that she thinks she hasn't felt anything for the last year and a half. She has emotions, strong ones. But she says that even when she feels emotional, it feels detached from her and that it's not really her body that feels it. A friend of hers said that it was a mental illness. I don't think it's a mental illness. But I think she should see a shrink. After about an hour of talking she seemed to be getting anxious. A tear came into her eye and she wipe it away. She didn't start crying, though that's come to be standard for our meetings. I started to feel like she wanted to tell me something but was afraid. At this point it seemed like she was trying to tell me that she'd decided that she didn't want to be with me and that she didn't see how it could ever work with us. But she never said it.

We went to a different bar and had a couple more drinks and talked a bit more. I was fighting off this overwhelming desire to comfort her. I just wanted to hug her and kiss her until all her pain went away. But I practiced restraint. And I know that hugs and kisses aren't going to fix anything in her.

I asked her about the neclace and if it was "S". She said, "No, he's really cheap and he wouldn't send it like that because he would want be there to take credit for it." She seemed to be very annoyed with him but half-heartedly agreed that it probably was him. But then she said that she went to the website it had been ordered from and that it was like a 70% off deal.

It got late. We hung our from 11:30 to 3:30. When I took her home I got out of the car, walked over to her, and shook her by the shoulders and said, "IT'S GONNA BE OK!" I told her that I thought she seemed to be getting healthier and healthier ever time I saw her and that she seemed to be getting closer and closer to figuring her **** out. I told her I didn't think she was mentally ill, but to go see the shrink. I said, "Don't worry about me. I'll be ok. I don't want you to have to be worrying about me." We were definitely parting for the night, but she made a point to say that she was too tired to talk about "things" right now. I agreed. I was pretty exhausted. I gave her a big kiss on the forehead as we hugged goodbye and then I left.

Then I had the most beautiful dream that seemed to last all night. Her and I were together and it was like it is now but we were back together and kissing and hugging and cuddling were allowed. I haven't had a dream like that for a while.

 

So what was all that about? The good news is she didn't spend Valentine's Day with "S": Very good sign. She spent it with me: also good sign. But beyond that, I have no idea. She still seems pretty confused and lost in herself. I want to help her so bad. It really hurts me to see her go through this. It really seems like she's hurting. It was intolerable for me to know that I could be putting pressure on her by wanting to get back together. That's why I shook her and told her not to worry about me.

 

Was that a bad thing to have said? How do you think she took my telling her not to worry about me?

 

So I'm back to square one on NC and trying to let her go. But it was Valentines' Day and she called me to hang out. Could anyone resist that?

 

I don't know if there's really any new information her. But do any of you have any comments on this? Does anyone believe it was fate that we just happened to cross paths on Valentine's Day of all days?