I give up

[shiminimo]

I give up on trying to figure out girls. It seems like all I do is make them mad. I'm tired of the back and fourth breaking up getting back together. I don't get what they want from me. I get screamed at 24/7 for things I don't even understand.

[Caldus]

Um, don't give up but stop trying to figure them out.

[shiminimo]

I couldn't never figure out girls. Last night I got home new girl I am dating was there. I walked in the door and it was like the devil was inside of her, Is this what a guy has to put up with in order to get some booty?

[WhiteIcE]

If it's all about getting booty, then don't be surprised when they get possessed. Most women don't like to be taken advantage of, and most of them will figure it out quickly if you are.

 

Change your motif for going after women. If that's not good enough, take off all your clothes, run to china, and become a monk.

[shiminimo]

Can some of you dudes that are experiened with girls give me some hints on how to make girls happy. I dunno what I do wrong.

[shiminimo]

white, nah it's not just all about booty, I like booty don't get me wrong. It's about not getting yelled at or slapped. my ex gf cheated on me and I get screamed at because she says I didn't give her enough attention that's why she did it. New girl and ex gf hate each other, new gf thinks I still have feelings for ex gf..... man, I'm just a guy I don't get all this drama.

[RayKay]

Well, if you are getting yelled and slapped at....you are choosing the wrong girls...trust me! That is NOT normal behaviour. Now either you are truly a terrible person and deserve it...lol...or you are choosing emotionally immature girls.

 

So, how about for one, looking at what kind of girls you are attracted too..if you are going for "high maintenance" girls you may in "general" be ending up with more dramatic females, or maybe you go for ones that need "saving" in your opinion due to many personal problems and are resulting in again, emotionally immature/damaged girls. Maybe you are just not looking at/finding the nice, decent ones.

 

And do look at your behaviours, maybe you do not emotionally fulfill the women you are with. Yes, it is wrong for ANYONE to cheat, and your ex should not have BLAMED you, but maybe she is right that she was feeling negelected. Remember, girls don't need what you think they need, or what you want, they have different needs...you need to figure them out and figure out how to fulfill those needs.

 

To get less drama, also try picking less drama queens

 

P.S. To get out of the breaking up/back together scenario...STOP DOING IT! I don't think these relationship are healthy when it becomes a cycle and is not right (at least not at that point in your lives). Move on

[sasha12]

it is hard for guys to understand girls we see everything as black and white.

[RayKay]

it is hard for guys to understand girls we see everything as black and white.

 

Please explain this comment? I disagree with it, at face value, as I see in many shades personally and I would be the last person to say I see in B & W...but am curious why you say that?

[sasha12]

Raykay, I feel that girls view thing much differently then men do. Girls put more emotions into thing and get down to the source of the problem where guys just tend to blow things off.

[sasha12]

maybe I shouldn't have phrased it exactly as that but that is what I meant.

[Caldus]

Everyone thinks differently. Every guy thinks different than every girl. Every guy thinks differently than every other guy. Every girl thinks differently than every other girl. So stop trying to figure out anyone.

[RayKay]

Raykay, I feel that girls view thing much differently then men do. Girls put more emotions into thing and get down to the source of the problem where guys just tend to blow things off.

 

I agree that the sexes in general do view things differently, though I guess black and white was just not the term I would of applied to it

 

I think while you are somewhat accurate for the women, I would say men don't blow things off...they just have a different way of processing conflicts/information.

 

Women talk about it, sort through it, can think of other things at the same time, and will talk some more about it in order to process. We talk with friends, our partner, whomever. We don't retreat and hide, we surround ourselves with people who can help or talk through it with us! For women, being down, asking for advice is NOT a sign of weakness so we don't mind sharing.

 

Men, tend to need to focus on the ONE conflict and retreat. They don't want to talk about it, and they don't want help from others unless they cannot sort it out on own (but they will try first!). We often think they are blowing it off...but really they do know it is a problem but need time to sort it out on their own, when we hassle them for "not caring" it just means he will take longer in retreating and get more flustered. It is about us trusting they can figure it out, when we hassle them about it/about not caring they feel we don't trust them to be able to make decisions or solve problems...can sting them. Sure it hurts when they retreat, but when they do solve it, they will come back more loving then ever (the rubber band theory). For men, sometimes it IS a sign of weakness to be hurting, etc...so they have different methods.

 

Neither way is wrong, just different and has its own pros and cons.

 

Have you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Gives a great explanation of the different thought processes and ways we communicate and approach conflicts.

 

Of course we are all individuals and different, and these are general ideas, but I think it is true there are some accuracies in these different methods above relative to the sexes.

[twizod]

okay, so you sometimes post under sasha12 so is this you or your sister? Is your nut guard still intact before they start yelling at you...for protection?

[shiminimo]

twizod, yeah sasha and I are bro and sis, we share the same computer and it get's confusing. sasha is a emotional creature also so you can see the need for the nut protectors.

[gersanos]

it is hard for guys to understand girls we see everything as black and white.

 

It depends on what you're referencing to here. As in a relationship, yes, I think it is black and white. There are no shades of gray. You are either a couple, or you are not. Girl breaks up with me, good bye forever. I break up with a girl, same thing, not because I can't stand to ever see her again, but because it is very cruel and selfish for me to want to be friends with someone that likes me more than a friend.

 

But in general, with guys and relationships, many do see it in those terms. Not all guys, but it is an accurate generalization.

 

Shiminimo - How old are you? It takes time. With each girl you continue to learn more and how to handle relationships and women. Same goes for the gals. You learn what kind to avoid, and what kind to go after. How to treat her right, what to say what not to say, etc. There is no magic answer to this question. There are numerous threads in this message board that can help you, and of course, experience. Good luck bro.