Dating someone who is separated but not divorced yet

[davo1066]

I've started dating this girl who's married, but separated from her husband a few months ago after a long time of counselling etc and it not working. She hasnt loved him for a long time, has taken off her ring etc. I get the impression she's leaving him for being an a-hole, but dont know details really yet.

 

They can't get divorced for another year as they've not been married long enough yet.

 

Is dating her cheating? Adultery? Could it affect her divorce settlement? (She wants divorce, he doesnt)?

 

I'm completely new to all this, never having married or been in anything like this situation b4

 

Thanks!

[peanut15]

I didn't know you had to be married for so long in order to get divorced. Is she legally separated? For some reason, it doesn't seem like it so maybe your relationship is considered cheating. I mean, if she really wants to leave her husband she'd do so without waiting. As for affecting her divorce settlement, do you mean monetarily? Is she seeking alimony just because he's an ahole? That doesn't warrant any alimony in my opinion but then again, I am not sure what she is after.

 

In my opinion, she wouldn't go after anything unless they equally put into any of their assets.

[lady00]

Since when do you have to be married for a certain period of time before getting divorced? Can't you get divorced whenever you want? I mean, what if your spouse is abusive or something.

[sisterlynch]

Didn't Brittany Spears get divorced from one guy in like 3 weeks, then remarry with in the year???

[sasha12]

I think there's a chance that you might be being decieved by her. You don't have to wait to get a divorce. Where are you from? I recently was seeing a guy who told me he had filed for a divorce and he said that he still had to live with his wife because the courts were making him go through a trial period with his wife. I later found out that was a big lie.

[Carthiana]

Diff states/countries have requirements about what you have to do to get a 'seperation' or qualify for one, same thing with divorce. You have to meet certain descriptions.

 

For instance, have you been separated for... 6mnths? 1 yr? Did you make a PSA? If they are abuseive are there court filed documents about restrictions of visit or proof of abuse? Did you attempt a divorce with a judge and not a Ore Tenus hearing and the judge denied your request for a divorce? Is it pro se or is a lawyer involved?

 

It is possible judges can require counseling before giving a judgement of divorce for a couple. Failing to file pro se divorce paperwork correctly can also result in having to go before a judge and plead your case for divorce. They aren't required to grant it to you.

 

And with celeb's, it is amazing what money and good connections can get you that the rest of us regular people don't have.

 

Depends on whether the other partner is dead set on having you back, they could possibly hire a P.I. to prove infidelity. It woudlnt' be the first time it's happened.

[Princess777]

Well, I'll answer your post in two ways. First, my advice for you is to dump her immediately. People going through a separation/divorce are very, very hurt and confused, even though they might claim they're not. I've been through it more times than I want to mention, and I know others who have too. Steer clear of anyone going through that period in their lives, they'll only end up hurting you because they are not thinking clearly at that point in time... you will almost certainly end up hurt, if not sooner, then later when they figure out you're not really what they want either. Sorry to be so blunt but seriously, you'd really be WAY better off dumping her.

 

Secondly, yes it depends on the state. You can get an annulment if you claim the marriage has not been consummated (had sex any time after the ceremony) but I think a lot of people lie and say they haven't just so they can get it annulled cause it's quicker and cheaper, hence the movie stars, etc..... and some states DO require that you stay married for 6 months after you file your divorce petition, you don't have to live together obviously but you have to stay married. So she may not be lying about that. But at the same time, don't believe her cause she probably doesn't even know what she wants right now... she is in a tremendous amount of pain... you dont' want to be caught up in it!!!

 

Find a single girl!!! Good luck!

[davo1066]

Thanks for the advice everyone, I'm in UK btw so maybe rules are different here!

 

Good point though Princess, I think better to steer clear as you suggest. At least she was honest about being married!