whats his deal... need some helpful thoughts please

[littlelaxer]

This is what happened earlier in the week............if u have the time

 

link removed

 

now he is online very often......and i know he doesnt have any buddies and he goes in and out of idle until i put my away message away or soemthing and then IMs me. We talked again last night about him takin classes. Then he got quiet for a bit so i thought it was a good idea that i signed off. The old me would of sat there and waited for him to say something or made someting to talk about....or even stayed on till he left but i left and he went in idle as soo as i left.

 

I just dont want to be friends with him,but at the sametime im scared to tell him all this again cause what if hes startin slow ya know?? or what if its nothing. I want to be with him..........but im scared he doesnt.

 

 

He was on on a firday night, 3 fridays in a row....and its suprising for him to be on especially on a friday. Some epopel might not see all this as a big thing but for me it is..............its just all weird

 

Was i good with gettin off last night like i did..........cause what if he was exepcting all night to talk more and then i just left....i guess to keep him wondering. Does anyone have any thoughts on my whole situation

[mataney]

here's the deal. he's alone right now. he sees you as a comfort zone because you let him do this to you. he can talk to you when he wants to. it's a natural desire to want something you can't have.

 

what do you want. read your post before. seems like you're still interested

the thing is he won't come back because you never let him go. he knows you're still there...waiting. you have to take a stand. either way it'll help you out. he'll realize what he's missing and beg you to get back together or you'll realize he was never the guy you were supposed to be with.

 

act like you're moving on. he'll hate the fact that you're so strong. once he starts talking about his feelings, tell him what you want. and try to work it out from there. you're young. so much time. no need to hurry.

 

take charge. delete his screen name. it's hard. if you can't then move his name in a folder you can't see. mentally move on. you'll see him come and if he doesn't you'll be strong enough to move on. good luck.

[HeavenLee]

Hi Littlelaxer. Boy do I know how you feel. I could have written your post myself. I noticed the same thing when my bf wanted "space" to sort himself out. He came onto his messenger more often than he used to and used silly excuses to contact me.

 

Personally, I think that he is hedging his bets. He probably does miss you, but that is a natural feeling when you go without someone who used to (or still does) mean a lot to you. Maybe he hasn't found anyone better and is regretting it? Maybe he is just lonely and you fill that void? Maybe he really does regret breaking up with you and wants to get back together? Unfortunately it is messing you around though. If you can handle it (and are prepared for either outcome), just see how things go and see how they develop. If not, tell him that the mixed messages that he is sending you are hurting you too much, and ask for no contact again. Maybe you could ask him where he is wanting this all to go? If it is simply as friends, cut him off... NOW! You don't need that - it is only to make him feel better while you feel worse. I can't tell you whether he wants to get back with you or not, only he knows that, and you know him better than anyone. What do you think his intentions are?

 

I agree with mataney though. He knows that you are still there and is using it to his advantage. If he wants you back, why doesn't he just say instead of playing silly games. I think it would be obvious to him that you want to get back together... so what's stopping him?

 

Good luck to you... I hope that everything works out for the best for you. And if it wasn't meant to be, let it go and find someone who will love you and not play silly games with you.