did I do the right thing?

[kabbyondastree]

Hi everyone, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible.

 

Dated 9 months, she moved to another city to go to college.

 

Said she didn't know what she wants, wanted space.

 

She texted me saying she missed me and wanted to be with no one else other than me, tried to get me to come up to where she lives at her convenience.

 

As soon as I told her I wanted to be with her she changed her mind.

 

Told her to make an effort to see me when she comes back (her family lives here)

 

She texted me telling me she was coming home in February and she really wanted to see me. She flaked when I said we could meet for coffee.

 

Recently texted me to see how im doing. I just kept it really short, I have a real hard time not replying to people even though I don't have to.

 

It pretty much went like this.

Her: "hey how are you? "

Me: "I'm okay, you?"

Her: "oh good good, what have you been up to? "

Me: "work, you? "

Her: "just going to school and work and going to this trade show"

Me: "cool, glad you're well"

 

that was the end of our conversation. I'm just trying to keep it civil.

 

She really hurt me with all these games, and I really want to chew her out right now. Would that be bad?

[kabbyondastree]

Actually I'm not going to message her. I figure it's best to just ignore her even though she hurt me a lot.

[catfeeder]

This girl has offered you nothing but word farts. I'd skip her.

[kabbyondastree]

Yea I'm going to.its been a pretty hard go, she's strung me along for a decent amount of time and I really want to tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable and cruel, but I think her head is a little too swollen for my words to sink in. Im finding it really hard to let it be.

 

Sorry about this, I need to vent somewhere.

 

It's been five months since our break up and I'm still hurting, our relationship wasn't short but it wasn't too long either

[relevart]

What do you mean she flaked when you asked her out for coffee? As in she wanted more of a date date type of thing? She hates coffee? Or thought it was too casual? But in the final analysis, you owe her nothing. If you're ready to be done with her, block her abd go NC.

[Allipie]

i wouldn't say anything. I think...what i've learned over the years is to just let things be. The more you say, the the worse you feel. The moment of statisfaction you feel after you say something goes away and go back to feeling bad. Plus, the other person doesnt really care. They know what they did/are doing.

[kabbyondastree]

She said she really wanted to see me in the middle of February when she came home for a holiday. I suggested we get together and go for coffee and take our dogs for a walk since she got a new one and for some reason wanted me to meet her dog. I agreed and when the time came she said it was too crappy out and then never made plans to reschedule with me.

 

I mean I don't want to be done with her, but her actions just kind of tell me she wants to string me along and doesn't want me to find someone else. she also seems like she wants me to put in all the effort while she does nothing.

 

I don't ever contact her either, she contacts me once a month Around the same time.

[kabbyondastree]

Yea I'm not going to say anything, it's just pretty sad that people do that to someone.

[Allipie]

She said she really wanted to see me in the middle of February when she came home for a holiday. I suggested we get together and go for coffee and take our dogs for a walk since she got a new one and for some reason wanted me to meet her dog. I agreed and when the time came she said it was too crappy out and then never made plans to reschedule with me.

 

I mean I don't want to be done with her, but her actions just kind of tell me she wants to string me along and doesn't want me to find someone else. she also seems like she wants me to put in all the effort while she does nothing.

 

I don't ever contact her either, she contacts me once a month Around the same time.

 

that's exactly what she's doing-stringing out along. I've been there MANY times and allowed it. AND got really hurt/screwed over by it. I've learned the hard way to not allow myself to get sucked into any psychological BS. Yes, it's sad that people will do that to someone, but there are so many other people who will NOT do that to other people. Stop responding to her.