Miss the girlfriend, she is a bit bipolar, i love her though

[Dead End]

My girlfriend and I had been together for 1 years and 1 month. We had an awesome relationship, very loving and fun, best year of my life. Problem was, no one knew about us, it was secretive, 10 people knew about us at most. It was still great, she was different, as was I, we clicked and we ended up beingtogether without either of us officially asking each other out. Anyways, my birthday was in October and suddenly this younger girl came into our lives. I began to become great friends with her friends, and eventually I was invited along with them all the time. So this girl is pretty flirty and loud, but she flirted with me. My girlfriend told me about her story, how she had a rough life, mom hates her blah blah, etc etc. So I felt bad and tried being a little more nice to that girl to show some hope, but maybe I was too nice. She started writing me notes, e-mails, always trying to bring me up when I was down, text messages, etc etc. When my girlfriend heard this, she went nuts, probably heart broken. That continued into December. My girlfriend invited me, my sisters, and all her friends to her employer's work party. At the party, I broke the ice and got the dancing going, the first slow song, my girlfriend was busy talking and getting drinks, so I saw that one girl (lets call her Tina) looking a little down, so I was like wanna dance. I could immediately tell my girlfriend was mad cause she ignores me. The last dance, my girlfriend danced with Tina's brother, which didn't bother me. That night, I talked to my girlfriend and she wanted to end it, so I could go with Tina. I was like hell no, I would never. Tina is exactly like me, same interests and all, and my girlfriend was the same yet different, very much my taste. Two days later, she asked for a "break" so I agreed cause in past she seemed she wanted some time to herself so I was like okay. Later in the day, she said she wated to break up, I tried talking about it, but she wouldn't listen so I was like okay. Yes I cried my butt off. So, for that week, Tina (who didn't and still doesn't know about my relationship) seemed to talk to me and want me more. My EX says I asked her for help to get me with Tina, when in fact I never did. Within the next week, I found out Tina didn't like me, so that was case closed, didn't even sadden, just made a new friend. So, I gave my EX sometime, eventually Tina's brother started being extra nice to her. He made her stuff, notes, visits her at work, etc etc you know the drill. I got jealous asked her about it, she said it was nothing, but then something else would happen and I'd be like WTF. So, with Tina now, I rarely talk to her and really don't want to be anywhere near her, but my EX recently told me she had feeling for her brothers before too and wants to see what could happen. Also, my sister had feelings for Tina's brother and he showed some interest too, but at the sametime he was chasing my EX. My EX knows this, and gets mad, irritated, then eventually calls me back talking sweet. She says she has no feeling for me like love, but she cares for me, and loves me as friend. I told her its not like we were getting married tomorrow, we have chemistry, we can make it work. I admit I asked for a second chance, which I havent gotten yet or don't even know if I will. Now, I keep thinking about how I wanna bash that kids head, and it makes her sad that I get hurt when he does stuff and all. I literally starting to get gray hairs and I'm only 18!!! So she still calls me, says she doesn't wanna talk to me, then eventually calls me again, still messages me online, and texts my phone, and talks to me in school like we were still together. I have done everything possible from making things, joking around, being cool, moving on, giving space, but I do not know what to do right now. Any tips?

[Dead End]

I'd like to add that she has bipolar feelings. Also, she gets real mad when I'm super depressed. I know that this other guy is not for her at all, and I tried talkiing some sense to her, just like other people have as well. Selfish nonetheless. Tina still talks to me and is probably the only one who gets down when I'm down. Also, we are Muslim, not same entinicity though, I'm from eastern europe and her from southwest asia. So basically, if family knew, she would be considered lustful person / (girls who goes with alot of guys) having one boyfriend, but having two will literally end her life with familyr. She knows I'm the better choice, especially reality wise. Also, Tina's brother is 7 months younger then her. I am older then all. And sex is no issue, cause we are virgins..sadly. I want her back cause she was different, and I wouldn't be hanging around if I knew there was something. I think I covered everything...

[detox5]

It was kinda hard to read all that due to no punchuation, heh spelling.

 

So you want your girl back, this tina isnt with you, and your ex wants nothing to do with you? she wont even be friendly to you?

 

How long have you been apart?

[Ecko809]

Well dude, I hate to say it, but you asked for this.

 

You let yourself get close to Tina which in turn, costed you your relationship. You cant tell your ex that Tinas brother isnt the guy for her, sure your ego is hurt, but who knows what she wants better than her? I wouldnt have done the dancing at the party, simply because your ex thought she really liked you. Can you blame her for being mad? I knoq youre probably feeling really bad about this, but you did nothing to avoid it. I know better than most that when a girls are overly attentive to you, guys tend to eat that up. The idea of beating up Tinas brother might feel nice, but thats the wrong move. Not only would that make your ex less fond of you, but its def not the most mature way to cope. You gave his sister 'extra attention' and hes doing that to your ex. Doesnt feel too nice right? Give it some time, dont go beat the kid up or try telling your ex who not to date, chicks dont dig that. Just my two cents...

[Dead End]

We've been apart since the second week of December. No, I have no feeling for Tina either and I am way done with that and all. Tina's brother as well did not know about our relationship either. My EX still calls me, instant messages me, and all. She knows I made a mistake, and learned from it, so I don't push it anymore, and I lean away talking about us unless she brings it up. I am doing my own thing, but still paying attention to her. NO contact doesn't work, because enventually one of us calls one another. We still talk, still fun, but she maybe confused. Any tips for me?

[detox5]

well you have to have the frame of mind that your not interested, and show her, shes not that important, lol im doing that with my ex, and things are lookin up, stay tuned

[allowishus]

There is no point in crying over spilled milk. If you really want to be with your ex-girlfriend, fix it. Talk to her about it, if she doesn't budge then move on. It's hard when people play with your feelings just because they know you're there regardless what they do. But nobody deserves that at all. You're young...you will meet other girls. Like what you said, "it's not like you're getting married", so enjoy your youth and get out there and have fun. You will eventually find the girl for you and might have a real relationship. Sometimes you think that this is the girl for you now, wait until you meet girls when you're 21, 25, 27, 30 and so on. You will find that they all may seem alike, but they are very different in all aspects. Then you will know what kind of girl you want to be with.

 

But if you really care about this person, try to fix it first. Clarify the mixed signals, if there are. If she tells you straight out that she doesn't want to be with you...as bad as it may seem...accept it and move on. When you're older and wiser, bigger challenges will come...bigger disappointments and bigger heartaches.

 

And please, do not let your heart and emotions be stepped on by someone who doesn't even deserve your care and attention. You deserve better than that.