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hey question about marijiuana

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I was wondering if it is a lost cause to be in love with someone who is pretty much a pothead. He makes smoking marijuana a part of his lifestyle with all his friends, almost like a way of bonding. I totally don't judge anybody who smokes but I don't know if it makes sense to try to get through to him. We had a very cool relationship before that ended for no true reason, but from then until now he has just smoked more frequently. Sometimes I feel that he just spends all his money on smoking, and we rather leave me when we are hanging out to smoke with the buddies. I'm not sure how to understand he's love, but he just gets so excited when he is stoned. And sometimes I just wonder if smoking makes the person kind of feel less emotions. Or run away from his problems. If I really care for this guy, is it smarter to stay and work on the friendship or just distance myself? Oh and I had asked him when he was going to stop, and he said when he became involved in a serious job..Right now he is 20, so in the mean time if he smokes more won't things just get worse?



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your answer depends soely on who you ask. but let me just let you know that from the couples that i have known, where pot is a center piece in the lifestyle, they dont end up all that happy in the end. but i think it depends on a few things. 1) why does this person smoke all the time? some smoke bc it helps them to distance themselves from themselves (past problems, current problems, etc). if this is the case, you will prob. not ever get far, and not because of the pot, but because this sort of person had emotional issues. 2) does this person have a care-free and care-less attitude about life in general, or is pot smoking the only way they exhibit this? again, if its that the person is careless and carefree about nearly everything, it probably wont go that far. to these sorts, life is often just a series of distractions and "good times" and they dont put much stock into deeper meanings. relationships need deeper meanings or they fizzle out. anyhow, it depends ENTIRELY on the person, their motives, and their outlook on life. some things to look for: 1) does this person have goals? 2) do they self-motivated enough to accomplish those goals? 3) do they skate through all, or nearly all aspects of life? if those anwers are yes, you probably wont get far. again, its not because of the pot, but because of the type of person. only a certain type can become a true pothead. the "lazy skater (not like skate boarder) i dont give a crap" sort. and those are the types, that regardless of whether or not they are smokers, drinkers, or iv drug users, that are not in the place to MAINTAIN a serious relationship. and most of what keeps people together is the ability to maintain.

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When does he smoke? Smoking can be fun, but in moderation. Once or twice a month, and at most once a week during social things is definitely not a problem.


When people start to smoke more and more, until its eventually daily.. things are going wrong in their life. It might be they have no goals, no interests or they might be depressed. A fair number of the people I know that slowly worked themselves up into daily smokers eventually started turning to harder stuff as well. First is usually "shrooms" or LSD. Neither are near as bad as their reputations, but its the beginning. ecstasy often follows until they become bold enough to try a "real" drug such as cocaine. And this is not coming from the ignorant masses. I used to smoke quite alot. I have a $160 bubbler that I still keep around for memories. After I stopped (and I don't mean for two weeks) everything began to improve in my life.


Again, I really hate to be cliche. The change might take weeks, months, or even over a year.. but it happens. You don't want to be tied down with somebody like that anyhow, even if they don't go overboard. Find somebody you can love AND be proud of.

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For my opinion.....u seem like ur into this guy just to have a guy. I mean u didnt say that u love him completely, adn want to help him get over his problem. But if u can see yourself with him when he isnt a pothead, then u should stay with him. If he doesnt respect you, adn wont get help if u ask him too, then maybe he isnt worth it. Only your heart can tell you whehter hes that important to you to stay with him or not.

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Am i the only person without a problem with weed? I personally smoke like 3 or 4 times a day. it doesn't affect my work (work 2 jobs) schoolwork, etc... it's just something i do, some people smoke ciggarettes i smoke weed... I've gotten past the point of being really high, so i'm normally just real mellow now. i don't see a problem with it. if he's normally fine, and just smokes to smoke that's ok. if he smokes to run away, or to escape, or to be someone he's not (a lot of people change when they smoke) he's got a problem. decide which of these smokers he is and take it from there. Also, if you really have a problem with him smoking don't bother. he won't stop for you, trust me... he'll say he stopped then lie about it, don't let yourself get into that situation.

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Hey guys! Thanks a lot for all ur advice= so far so good.. Anymore advice is certainly welcomed though.


In response to what some of you had said and suggested I just had a little feedback. THis guy is my ex bf of 6 months, who I do have a very strong heart for no matter what goes on between us. I always end up thinking about him and love talking to him. Right now we are a couple of hours away during the summer since school just ended. We don't talk much to each other when we are at home over break bc we end up doing our own things. ANd distance is just hard. We haven't been together in a year but we have been seeing each other on and off, talking a lot, and being physical often. My Ex is a daily smoker, for about 2 yrs especailly in college he has smoked around maybe 7 times a week or so. Anyway when we were together, he would smoke a lot less and take time off from being with his guy friends to be with me. He said he didn't need to smoke when he was with me because I was like his high.

I have no problem about smoking, I have smoked with him on occasion but refuse to do it as much as he has. Sometimes I feel that he just makes it a major part of his world and maybe does use it to escape. Especially when we were together, i felt he would spend so much money on the pot and then say he didn't have a lot of money to spend on me. I never felt like he loved pot more than me. But after we broke in the summer I just started to think that perhaps it was possibly he did. I don't know though... Im still confused about a lot!


But thank you guys!!! Much appreciated and please any more advice id love to hear...



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