My first relationship and how I may be messing up

[New2ItAll]

I'm a 20 year old guy, 2 months from being 21. In December I met this girl walking to work and we talked and I asked her out to a date. She said yes. Since we are both students and it was the day before break, we decided to wait until January to go out. We had a great first date, and we kissed at the end of the night when I walked her back to her dorm. That was my first kiss ever. The second date got postponed a bit because there was a guy there who she didn't want to see. She had "past relations" with him, but "she cared and he didn't" and she didn't want to be there. So we went bowling a few days later instead. We made a bet that the loser would have to pay for the next date and give the winner a back massage. I got destroyed by 60 points, and yes I was trying. That's where things started feeling off. At the beginning we did a fair amount of kissing and touching, but by the third bowling round things seemed to feel different. She seemed less interested (maybe because I was actually winning that one) and we decided to go afterwords. I payed for the date, and we decided to go exploring in the building. (The bowling alley at the university is inside another building, so we were exploring that building). We found an empty balcony on the third floor and went out on it. She commented on how pretty it was, and so I rubbed her back a bit and she moved away. I kept trying to get some physical contact, or even eye contact so I could kiss her. She just kept showing disinterest. We took the university's bus back to her dorm, and when we got off so did the bus driver, who decided to use the bathroom in her dorm. This happens to be her favorite bus driver, so she and the old lady bus driver were talking as we went back to the dorm, preventing me from trying to make any real move. When we got to her dorm, she gave me a quick goodbye kiss and told me to be good.

 

Even the texting changed after this. She used to text back quickly, now she takes a few hours per text usually. She used to sent lot's of smiley faces and such, and she would flirt over texts calling me handsome, I would flirt back with faces and compliments, and now they're just regular texts. The next week we had a date sort of planned out, but she went home that weekend instead. We ended up getting lunch together before she left instead. When we saw eachother, we didn't hug or kiss, we just walked up to a restaurant and got lunch. She offered to pay for herself, as she always does to be polite, I said ok. . We had a good time, she was laughing the whole time and smiling. I took my reciept and folded it into an origami crane and gave it to her, she was impressed with it and she kept it. We finished lunch and she walked with me to a class I have with one of her friends. We all talked for a while, then when it was time for class we all said goodbye. Her friend and her friends girlfriend (both girls) kissed goodbye, but the girl that I'm dating only gave me a half hug, and said goodbye, and went off with her friends girlfriend to hang out since they had the hour off. That was last week.

 

This week I texted her Tuesday asking how her week was going, and she never responded. I talked to her friend in class to make sure she was ok, and she said she would text her and ask. After 3 days the girl I'm seeing texted me back saying "sorry, I've had a terribly awful week. I've been so busy". She didn't want to talk about it. I offered to take her out to get things off her mind, since she wanted it all to go away, but she said she was going home this weekend and was leaving that night instead. She also said she is spending valentine's day with her friend. They are going to watch 50 shades of grey. Her friend lives 3 hours away. Why wouldn't she spend valentine's day with the guy she's dating? She did at least agree to try to go on a date next Wednesday (exactly 1 month after our first date, but also her busiest day due to homework due the next day)

 

I don't know what I'm doing wrong! I never told her she was my first kiss, even though I should have, I know. She was so into me, and then it seemed in a matter of seconds she decided she doesn't want me anymore. Am I going too slow? What am I doing wrong? What do I have to do to fix this? I like this girl very very much, and I don't want to mess this up. I just hope it's not too late. Any advice is welcome, and if you need more information I will do the best I can to provide it. Thank you for taking the time to read this and help me with my problems.

[mhowe]

I think you were going too fast. The back massage in public between games was a bit much.

And then trying to kiss her on the balcony...

 

This is a girl you barely know. And since then she has shown signs of backing wayyy of.

 

You are not her bf. You are a guy she has had a few dates with, so there is no reason to be spending Valentines day together. She is creating space because she doesn't know how to tell you to slow down.