Should I doubt my girlfriend?

[nicolascage123]

I'm re-phrasing this for better guidance. But, been with my girlfriend long story short. She went travelling in another country for 3 years (a year or more before I got with her ) and has gone back on holiday for 3 weeks. Trouble is she got involved with a local guy, her ex whilst she traveled for the 3 years... This was all booked previous to us being together.

 

Now. She's already gone. I remember her telling me that she was staying with friends whilst she's there. Except one thing got me worried, said she was hiring a campervan for 6 days and it's actually on valentines week!

 

Now, at first she was sharing the campervan with a male friend (south african, not her ex) and I was okay with that, people have friends of opposite sexes. I know I have and I could trust myself...

 

Now I know she's in touch with her ex boyfriend. Only reason she came back was because her visa ran out... But she doesn't speak very highly of their relationship...

 

The camper only has one bed! Alarm bells started ringing a bit. So, obviously I asked if she was seeing her ex whilst she was there and she said no, he is away travelling...

 

I asked who she was sharing the camper with and told me her female friend is flying from australia to new zealand to explore the south island with her. So now it's her female friend :S not male. I find this hard to believe now with how she said it was her other friend at first a few months before...

 

She is in Wellington and flying to Christchurch to pick up the campervan but says her friend booked the wrong date on the flight... She is telling me her friend is flying from australia, to wellington, only to fly again to christchurch. It doesn't make any sense, why wouldnt they just meet in christchurch??

 

Now the other thing is this... I checked her exes facebook and it said he was going to an event in Auckland, so he is in the same country... The event is the 6th to the 8th and she said she's meeting her friend on the 10th.

 

I dunno if I'm being paranoid but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense and kinda fits in with her exes schedule...

 

She still said it's her female friend even now...

 

How can I find out? How will I ever find out?

 

The other thing is this... She has come accross as a really decent girl. My family thinks it, my friends think it... She doesn't come accross as a cheat. I wouldn't suspect her of doing it until now, because the story smells fishy.

 

Obviously if I find out that she has met her ex, or that it wasn't a female friend I will finish with her.

 

Part of me wants to go out and find another girl while she's away, but then that's a horrible thing to do, and I couldn't.

 

What can I do to stop me being worried about this, it might all be nothing.

[relevart]

I don't understand people. You need to relax. Time will tell if you should doubt her or if you're a paranoid control freak set out to sabotage his own relationship.

[mhowe]

That is the same story as your previous thread and no one can tell you what she is doing. However, you haven't been dating long, her story changed because her plans changed. You either teuust her or you don't.

 

But going out and using some random chick in retaliation while she is gone is wrong on too many levels to count.

[amipushy]

Tell her you miss her and ask her to send you lots of pics of her travels, scenery, having a good time with her friend etc.

 

Maybe then you can rest in peace.

[Man with Dog]

If anyone can give you the right answer to this one, they should bottle it and make a mint. How many times do we have an uneasy feeling about something. We're never sure whether to dismiss it as paranoia or not.

 

But Mhowe is right about one thing (and usually is right): having a fling with someone else will not solve the issue.

 

I wish you luck, as you need it.