Cajunmoon1212 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Well My bf of 14 years said wanted space,didn't know if its I want to meet someone else space,though his actions are a bit peculiar,spent alot of time online (though he says,he's looking for work)he already has a good job but was never satisfied. I moved from place to place following him,but doing my own thing,finish school,worked and finding something for myself but this latest place we moved to is a depressed town,not much opportunities,unless you volunteer which I had. Ok fast forward,he's been picking fights in the Fall,arguing with me,we stayed at a weekly hotel extended stay,so it was cramped. He went to work,i'd volunteer,but made his lunches daily and did contribute to the household,maybe not as much money but I did. Fast Forward, So we went our separate ways for Xmas,he just said its a good idea to have space,and he was going on some trip by himself afterwards,wouldn't tell me when nor where. He never took trips without me. After Xmas,he just disappeared,didn't hear from him,nothing,so i took my own trip down the Gulf Shores. Days went by,not hearing anything, i wanted to know what is going on with my cat,he did correspond with his sister to ask me whether i would be keeping it,I said.well I don't have a place yet,since i'm not staying with him anymore i'm trying to find a place to live,but not in cold PA where we live. Aside from his sister being our go between,she somehow got a hold of him I dont know whether he is back in our old place or not. I decided to email him,wrote several emails went unanswered,called him nothing. I just wanted to know about the cat and should i pick him up,i'd take it to my mom's place. He finally replied,after several attempts in my part that the cat is very sick,and is boarded at our Vets. He said he'd be out of town,didnt say where,so I took whatever little money i had and flew to PA to see the Cat bc I ,we had him for 12 years. I booked a weekly motel,which is hard on my finances and went to see the Cat everyday while taking care of other businesses,,I couldn't enjoy myself anywhere thinking of the cat,and he and our lives together. So the poor cat has Kidney failure,is now anemic,and is no shape to travel or be outside of the vet's care. I was thinking of getting an apt nearby,apts are pretty cheap in that area. This the thing,I don't want to stay in the same state as my ex,I have no ties there,no job,no steady place to live,and its pretty hard to be there knowing that he's there,ignoring me not wanting to have anything to do with me. Oh yes,i also asked him for a bit of financial help which he refused,I hate asking him but certain places would recognize Common Law Domestic living situations. He is probably turned off anyway by my asking I don't care,bc he went under the guise of taking a break when it really was a breakup So now,I'm staying here till the end of the week,I want to be near the Cat but cant see myself staying in a place that I don't care for,with ex nearby,wont have anything to do with me. I heard he was back from his trip,which was his second aside from the holidays,this is the guy who says he cant help me financially. So i stop contacting him finallyt,it hurts,I could swallow my pride and get a studio which is accross from the vet,but it pains me to know he's near and doing NC and could care less where I am. I am looking for work other places but may have to go to my moms to save $$ but don't want to. Okay,sorry for long post ,any insight will do but if some of you want to place harsh judgement on me for depending on him,please ask for more info instead of judging,I was very good to this guy,supported him in everything he wanted to do. I want to know, Is there a chance he might turn around and contact me,is 14 years nothing and he can walk away? Or should I just forget the cat and leave the state? Link to comment
Denguin Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Is there a chance he might turn around and contact you? Always. But I think it's pretty tell-tale that those chances are paper thin, and it won't be happening for a long while. He seems like he's gone. Completely gone. You need to accept that as the case, and you need to start thinking about yourself, because clearly you're in a bit tough spot right now. It's unfortunate the cat is involved, and in the condition he/she is in. It's amazing the attachments we grow to have with our pets - as someone who just lost two dogs as a result of a break-up, I can sympathize with you. I'd imagine the prognosis of the cat isn't very good. What are your options with regards to treatment? Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 How long will the cat be in the vets care? If it's indefinite and he can't travel then maybe you need to consider the humane option - whihc is to put him down? Sorry, that may seem cruel, but I needed to ask as the cat is 12 years old. Otherwise can you take the cat to your mother's house, while you get yourself sorted? Seems to be there is no point staying in a state where you have no ties, particularly if you're goign through a break up, you'll need all the support you can get. Link to comment
Mischa234 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I would treat it like a break up, leave the cat and go to your mother's house ASAP. If you can organise to take the cat with you, great, otherwise.. I would break up with your "ex" and tell him that you are not happy with how he has behaved recently. Ask him if he will please send you regular updates about the cat because you can't be nearby and ask him if you can take it once its better. I have a cat too, and if my partner and I broke up I'd struggle to find somewhere I could take it with me. But I'd leave the cat or find it a new home asap if I were struggling financially and my partner walked out on me. Maybe you can post an ad online for someone to supervise your cat.. there are a lot of good hearted people who will care for animals in need. Link to comment
Cajunmoon1212 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 How long will the cat be in the vets care? If it's indefinite and he can't travel then maybe you need to consider the humane option - whihc is to put him down? Sorry, that may seem cruel, but I needed to ask as the cat is 12 years old. Otherwise can you take the cat to your mother's house, while you get yourself sorted? Seems to be there is no point staying in a state where you have no ties, particularly if you're goign through a break up, you'll need all the support you can get. Oh no I would never put the Cat down,I don't believe in it,just like we don't put humans down who is suffering,he is still in the Vet's care and thank goodness,he's taking care of the Vet's bills. I wish I can take the Cat with me but it can't travel at all Link to comment
Cajunmoon1212 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 Is there a chance he might turn around and contact you? Always. But I think it's pretty tell-tale that those chances are paper thin, and it won't be happening for a long while. He seems like he's gone. Completely gone. You need to accept that as the case, and you need to start thinking about yourself, because clearly you're in a bit tough spot right now. It's unfortunate the cat is involved, and in the condition he/she is in. It's amazing the attachments we grow to have with our pets - as someone who just lost two dogs as a result of a break-up, I can sympathize with you. I'd imagine the prognosis of the cat isn't very good. What are your options with regards to treatment? Hi thanks for you response,the Cat is still the Vet's care,the Vet is doing all he can,I believe he will pull through I do just have to do what I think its right for me,I hate not being near it at all especially since ex is not talking to me Link to comment
zebragirl Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 if your cat has kidney failure it's prognosis is likely not good. It might be best to have him/her put to sleep so it won't suffer. Its not fair to keep it suffering if its prognosis is not good anyway. Link to comment
Cajunmoon1212 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 if your cat has kidney failure it's prognosis is likely not good. It might be best to have him/her put to sleep so it won't suffer. Its not fair to keep it suffering if its prognosis is not good anyway. I know Everyone is about putting animals down and some have a point but we don't do that to humans too,put them out of their misery and animals do get better. They just need time and faith He is responding very well to aggressive treatment,some cats do.I believe in the power of prayer and God's healing and he is pulling through,he was up and about the other day and has been since -still its hard that I can't afford to be nearby Link to comment
Cajunmoon1212 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Sad news the Cat,my sweety passed on today,he's in a beautiful garden God made for him Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. The silver lining is that you can make independent decisions now. Link to comment
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