Brokenhart84 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Today I make 30 days of no contact. Yay! Starting no contact was extremely challenging. I convinced myself that I had to keep in contact with my ex(I was initiating and he was responding promptly). I did the text terrorism and the classic mistakes such as saying I miss you, I want to work it out and cried a lot. I have no shame for it because that is how I felt at that time. He broke up with me December 11th and officially in person on December 13th. He said it was a difficult decision for him to let me go but he didn't have strong feelings for me anymore. I didn't start no contact until Jan 3rd. How did I start no contact? I deleted all his contact info. He doesn't have Facebook. I honestly had to go through "extreme" measures. The first day I left my phone home. I went to work and got home very late. Most often I didn't charge my phone. I let it go to 20% and die, sometimes I left it in the kitchen and went to see late movies. Once I reached day 5 it felt more like a challenge that I wanted to commit myself. Most of all I felt like I was getting my power back and not stroking his ego. 30 days isn't long for healing. It just prevents you from having the urge to keep contacting your ex and giving them the power. I think of him just as much as did the day he decided to break my heart. I still cry sometimes. I'm not sure when I'll let go of this guy...but I want to. My emotions are all over the place. I wouldn't even take my ex back if he came today or tomorrow. Why? Because it wouldn't last. I need to work on myself, heal and be happy by myself. I need the thoughts of him to subside and not be so consumed. I've read so much about the no contact rule, how to get your ex back....ummm I even went to a tarot card reader I go to once in a while. Now that a new month has started I need to continue to focus on managing the Anxiety and the now depression that I'm suffering from. I'm looking forward to becoming a better version of myself. Lastly, I can't help but think of him reaching out to me Friday to say happy birthday. If he doesn't, it's going to hurt so bad. But in the end I know I'll be just fine. Link to comment
SGuru Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 If you had already make up your mind of moving on in life without him, then keep up with what you had already done. You are doing your best and yes there are relapse because you are ultimately a human being with feelings. Time will heal and it is just the first month. Let it go for another 30 days, then 60 and so forth. Old advice but making yourself busy and finding yourself a new boyfriend will help as long as you do not treat him as a replacement. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Thank you. That's pretty much what I have to do. Let go and move on with my life. Someone is interested in me right now. But I can't even remotely date anyone. Link to comment
Dcgent Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Don't get involved unless you are at peace with yourself. have fun, but if you don't sort through yourself, you are only going to confront misery in the future. Keep up the no contact. The future is bright, you just have to get used to seeing in the dark for a while. Link to comment
Heavy Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Your doing well Brokenhart84 You have posted in my thread a few times and I thankyou for your insight as again I have restarted NC after 45 days of no contact from her then all of a sudden out of the blue she meg me. It was an ego boost for her and again put me back not to square one but back a little. Don't worry about getting a new partner it is not needed, work on yourself, set goals enjoy your friends and keep busy. Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Its great that you do NC right now.I done NC to begin with...you know i never understood the concept of ,,not feelling stronly anymore''I mean love goes up and down ,its not always a bed of roses.I always think there could be someone else lined up.In my case,he mentioned at the end,,what if someoneelse may come along'' .that was a hint... Link to comment
ttgg88 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Hint for what? Him moving on. I am going through a Break up. I have just started no contact been about 4 days now. This is my second time doing it. First time she texted me about a show we used to watch together. And what did I do? responded...smh. I believe the no contact is for both people because both people emotional state is not reliable. You have to take time to see your feelings clear. And health yourself as well. I'm trying so hard. It sucks because she has a daughter that I have a deep deep bond with. She calls me dad. Her dad wasn't happy about that. But I just continue to pray and ask God to give me a peace of mind to think forward no. Remember the good and bad times we had. That's done Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Hint for what? Him moving on. I am going through a Break up. I have just started no contact been about 4 days now. This is my second time doing it. First time she texted me about a show we used to watch together. And what did I do? responded...smh. I believe the no contact is for both people because both people emotional state is not reliable. You have to take time to see your feelings clear. And health yourself as well. I'm trying so hard. It sucks because she has a daughter that I have a deep deep bond with. She calls me dad. Her dad wasn't happy about that. But I just continue to pray and ask God to give me a peace of mind to think forward no. Remember the good and bad times we had. That's done Just like ttgg88 is saying.Hint for moving on....i remember one day ,about two month before the break up,when he was saying that the future is unclear ,there was a phone call missed on his mobile ,from what i could see from a particular ,girl from macys''...i did not think much about it,but at the same time his online dating status was,,its complicated''....ouch ,that makes me so upset.Trying to have a good day though Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 42 days. Life goes on Link to comment
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