zebragirl Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 My husband and I have had very infrequent sex for many years. But ever for the last 2 years gradually I've realized he's having erectile issues. He either has a hard time fully getting hard or gets hard but loses it half way through. He is very healthy and recently had his cholesterol and glucose tested, had low blood pressure and does not smoke. I urged him to get his testosterone checked. He doesn't really even think about sex that much. Often if I initiate which I have been the one initiating for a while now (which used to turn him on) he will get into it but not get aroused, no election. OK so my question, we are still waiting on the blood test results for testosterone levels. But if that comes back fine, I honestly think it's his performance anxiety coupled with being overtired from working 60 hours a week. I want to know how we can work on things if it's performance anxiety? I obviously don't want to pressure him or embarrassed him but I don't know what to do to help him get over that anxiety. I guess I figure infrequent sex makes it worse because then we do try he probably puts more pressure on himself to perform. And by infrequent I mean less than once a month. He realizes he hasn't put priority on having sex and has apologized. I know he's willing to work on it. I just want to know if there any specific things that help getting over performance anxiety and what could we try that might help?? Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Viagra or the like. It will work so that he has success...and having eliminated the.performance part of it...will likely make him more willing to try. Link to comment
zebragirl Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 I was thinking other than meds . Nothing wrong with them but if it's not a medical problem, just stress or feeling self conscience I guess I should had thought that could be worked through Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Well...if you can get him out of his big head to his little head without pressure on performance...have at it. Link to comment
zebragirl Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 Lol that makes. Easier said than done for sure Link to comment
George86 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Viagra might help. And I think rings might help also. You should check out ToyDemon store. They are selling a huge variety of different rings, so you can choose something suitable for your husband. Good luck! Link to comment
zebragirl Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 well he got the results back and does have low testosterone. He's supposed to call back today and ask some questions. They asked him yesterday if he wanted to make an appointment and he said no. But after talking to him more it seems he wanted more information before he made an appointment and they were right before closing when he talked to him. So he said he'd call back today. I hope he takes this seriously and just doesn't blow it off. I know lack of sleep can cause Low T , which he only gets about 5 hours of sleep a night. But I think he must have already had low T before he started working all the overtime because he'd had lack of interest for quite some time. So I really hope he makes an appointment to get this taken care of AND cuts back on some overtime so he can sleep some more. Link to comment
zebragirl Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 So he wants to try getting more sleep and see if that increases his testosterone. I agree that's the best choice since testosterone replacement therapy has its own risks. From my research it's definitely do able with the proper amount of sleep, nutrition and exercise. I am willing to help him with nutrition and exercise, I need to start working out myself so we could start that together. My biggest worry is he won't really get enough sleep because he doesn't want to cut back on overtime . I knew how first thought would be to just go to bed early. But I have my doubts that going to bed 1 hr earlier will reverse this. I gave him some other suggestions like not working Saturday and sleeping in then or if he feels has to work Saturday then go in later not so early. Stop going into work so early so cut back on overtime. He said he needed to think about it . I know I'm impatient and thus didn't happen overnight so it's not going to be fixed overnight. But I am having a hard time worrying he's not going to do the work of getting more sleep and improving his health and then there's no guarantee that it will fix the Ed. I am willing to do whatever I can to support him and help him but in reality is up to him . He did a little research and knows sleep is a big key. Link to comment
TwixSense Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I think working 60 hrs a week is major.. Have you tried relaxing him during the week? Also have you tried tantric? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
zebragirl Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Relaxing him how? I am not sure what you mean. We haven't tried tantric Link to comment
TwixSense Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Relaxing him by touching him, giving massages, sitting in a hot tub or long hot shower, etc etc... Like maybe 2-3 times a week...Anything to relax the body and get his mind off of work and also off of his performance anxiety..only because he works so much so maybe he's really tense.. And also try tantric sex! Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk Link to comment
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