Scout Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I'm sorry you're experiencing such agony right now. But you should probably stop with the calls and text messages. It's only going to drive her away even more, and you are going to regret completely losing your control like this. I suggest going to the gym ASAP and working off some of your anxiety with a long, grueling work-out. Link to comment
BrandonBo Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 she needs her space thats it just back off for a month or so then start talking to her again she should start talking to ya again good luck Link to comment
kate111 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 She will start talking to you again if you just don't call her for a month or so. If i was you id give her number to a trusted friend and delete it from your phone. That way you won't be tempted again when you are drunk. Link to comment
Chevelle89 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 smooth move, theres one way to screw yourself over good luck thats all i could say Link to comment
Tryingtobestrong Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Dear Keefy, I agree with everyone. Stop messaging and calling her! She obviously does not want to speak with you right now and what you are doing is harassing her. I am sure you apologized already in your messages and texts. She knows what you want to say, now let it be. She does not have to answer her phone or reply to your text messages, so let her be. You are coming accross as obsessed and it is probably going to drive her away further. For your own sake, and for the chance of reconcilliation in the future, please stop contacting her. Leave her alone. If she wants to talk to you, she will let you know. I know how you feel, but there is nothing you can do to make her talk to you, if she does not want to. It is not in your hands, so please focus on something else, anything. Be strong! Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Hey Keefy~ I read on another thread that you had read the "Losers" article and thought you saw yourself in the description. I would have to say that this is probably something you should work on. Just imagine everything that you put your ex through! She's probably now at the end of her rope and trying to distance herself from you with good reason. You were trying to control her, and when she pulled away, you called her names and such (even being drunk is no excuse). I think it would be very beneficial to you if you go get some counselling to figure out why it is you behave this way. If you truly want to change, I think it's something that is possible. Just concentrate on yourself now and fixing things so that your relationship doesn't take the same path next time. Good Luck! Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted January 18, 2005 Author Share Posted January 18, 2005 Princess you are completely correct that I have put her through hell. I know I have and know I have a problem controlling my anger when I know she is with her ex. That is the only time that ever happened was when it is about her and her ex. I know that is my "trigger" that has always set me off. I think that leaving her alone and making every effort to avoid seeing her (we work at the same place, but different areas of the building and our schedules are offset by 30 minutes as far as starting and quitting time) I will feel a lot better myself. Luckily I dont feel any kind of desperation to talk to her, I don't really want to talk to her right now. Of course, I am feeling strong today and tomorrow is a whole new battle. I love her very much and am not going to put myself in denial about that, so much so that I will happily live out the rest of my life never seeing her again so that I can never hurt her feelings again. Hurting her is the last thing in the world that I ever wanted to do, but I know I have done it too many times to go back. I have never physically hit her, but I know the psychological damage can be just as devastating. I am not going to dwell on what has been done, all I can do is work to make sure this never happens again with anyone. But, it is so hard when you get caught daydreaming about what could have been. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 I can understand your feeling this way, but it's a really good thing that at least you recognize what part you had in the demise of the relationship. This opens new doors for your future. You now know how not to behave. Keep looking forward and trying to improve yourself. Next time you'll be better prepared. Good Luck! Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted January 19, 2005 Author Share Posted January 19, 2005 Well, I felt a lot weaker today than I did yesterday, because I was thinking more today in terms that it is over forever and she will always think of me as some kind of a madman. That is what hurts me most. She will think of me in a way that is very hard to swallow. It sucks really bad that I can't do anything at all about it because I am the one that said such ugly things to her. I am trying to cheer myself up by saying it is not for forever and things will be better for me with or without her. I know these things are true, but it is just so hard to convince myself of these things right now. S**t happens and life goes on, but I really wish I could make things right between us. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 At this point Keefy, how she feels about you or remembers you is irrelevent. Everyone makes mistakes, and you've admitted that you made many with her. It can't be fixed or changed now, but it can be fixed for the next person. Just keep focusing on what things you would need to do to better yourself for next time. Hang in there! Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Ok, thank you Princess, you seem to be wise well beyond 21. Anyways, I received an e-mail from her and she said she was sorry that she used her friend to e-mail me, but "at the time, I thought it was the right thing to do". She also went on to say that she was sorry that we can't just be "platonic friends". She knows I need closure in order to move on and is willing to give me the time and space so that I can achieve that. Oh well, Like you said Princess, all I can do now is focus on me and move forward. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Well, Im sure it still helped to hear from her. Even though it wasn't what one would hope, it didn't end with an email from her friend telling you to leave her alone. Things do get better, of that I can assure you. Sometimes breakups are actually a blessing in disguise. You can get back to the things that were important in your life, help better yourself and have lots of free time to pursue interests. Remember, your life didn't begin with her, and it won't end with her either. Good Luck! Link to comment
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