Selfish Drama Queens and how to deal with them...

[Cynder]

Sorry this is so long...

 

I have this friend who can be a real annoyance. I will tell a few stories just to give everyone an idea of what I mean... I am really just venting here, but any comments would bew appreciated.

 

Her and I were going to drop off pictures at a one hour photo lab once, and we walked up the lab tech was obviously very busy. We stood there for about two minutes, and my friend very rudely started out the lab tech for "refusing to wait on us". I spoke up and told the lab tech that we weren't waiting that long. We dropped off our film and I went to the bathroom. When I came out, my friend was complaining to a manager saying the lab tech should be fired!!!

 

This one other time we went to Subway. We got our sandwitches and sat in the parking lot eating them. When I was almost finished with mine, I found a big long hair in it. I took it back in and very politely showed it to the guy behind the counter, who very politely gave me my money back. I thought nothing of it. I have worked in food service, and I know that crap happens sometimes. When I came back out, my friend was on her cell with Subway customer service cussing and throwing a big fit. Then she proceeded to give them my name and address. A few weeks later an envelope thick with subway coupons and a letter of apology came to my house. I don't like that she did that and pretended to be me.

 

She introduced me to her BF after I had been friends with her for about a year. Her bf and I have a lot in common as far as movies and music, and a shared interest in tattooing. After she introdiced us, she got mad at me because HE said he thought I was cute...

 

One time she and I went out to lunch, and I offered to pay, well because she ordered something pretty expensive, I was 6 dollars short, so she put in the six dollars. She called me that night AT WORK, in tears, crying about how I "used" her for the six dollars!

 

She is very self absorbed. She talks about herself all the time. None of my other friends want to be around her, (same goes for my family). I was going to invite her to my Grandmas for thanksgivng because she complained about having no where to go, but my Mom and grandma both expressed that they didn't want her there. She called me three times in the week between XMas and New Years, and told me all about the "tons of presents" she got, but NEVER ONCE asked me how MY holiday was.

 

I slept at her house the night before my wedding, (keeping up with the tredition of not seeing my groom the night before). The morning of the wedding I had to be at my Mother-in-laws house to get ready at 11:00, well at 10:30 my friend decides to thow a big fit and lock herself in the bathroom crying and screaming because she couldn't get her hair right. She kept saying she wasn't going, and she was my ride. Obviously I got there, but still, it was uncalled for...

 

The day after my wedding she cussed me out on the phone because we barrowed her cooler to put drinks in at the reception and she had to have it back RIGHT THEN AND THERE. She was saying things like "I was nice enough to let you use MY cooler and you can't even return it to me!!! After everything I've DONE for you!!!" This was followed by a string of names that I won't even repeat. She even called me the C word. All over a friggin cooler! Not only did she cuss me out but she also cussed my parents out right in front of my cyblings and Grandparents because the cooler was at my mom's house and my Mom was refusing to go get it right that very second like my friend wanted.

 

My parents went to New York city last summer and I was given the job of feeding their dogs. I should say I have a medical condition that keeps me from getting a driver's lisense. So she took me all the way out to my parents house, then after we got there she told me I owed her $25 for gas!!! It's only like 8 miles . I told her I didn't have $25 dollars on me and she said she was going to leave me there. I finally talked her into stopping at an ATM back in town so I could get the money...

 

I am the only friend she has, and she always wonders why no one gets along with her. Her and I do have good times together despite the ocasional pitfall. But she just can be so mean. My husband can't stand her. She is a total drama queen and thinks everything always has to be about her.

 

I actually wonder if she may have some mental problems? I am afraid to tell her how I feel when she does things like this because when I do she alwways puts a huge guilt trip on me and makes me feel like a horrible person. I know I'm not a horrible person, but I just don't know how to deal with it when she does things like this. What does everyone else think?

[savannahohsavannah]

She won't change so accept it or move on. If it were me, since you seem to like her, I'd just consider her an eccentric and let it go at thiat.

[Cynder]

I do like her, but only about half the time... When she's in a good mood she's really cool, but when she's in one of her mean moods, I can't stand it and she makes me very angry. I'm basically asking what's the best way to deal with her when she's being a pain?

[RayKay]

Yikes, well obviously you do want to be friends with her seeing as you are (personally I would of gotten fed up and walked away by now..lol) but I guess the best thing to do in one of her moods is just to politely and calmly say that you are not going to deal with her at that time, or let her know why what she is doing (ie calling customer service and ranting at them) is unecessary and wrong given it was your name she used to. And when she calls and rants about $6 or a cooler or threatens to leave you there...I would again say you are not going to talk to her until she is calmed down. I mean, a cab would of been cheaper than $25 for 8 miles!

 

She is being childish so treat her like a child and basically give her a time out.

 

It is possible that that might make her furious at you, but she is being childish....I personally won't tolerate a "friend" who is disrespectful to me or selfish like that (even if it is "only" half the time!). Given that she has no other friends though, chances are she will come around again.

[savannahohsavannah]

I think though that I would pass on this girl as a pal. I have had a ton of really neurotic type pals and they ALWAYS turn on me in one way or another. I finally got smart and didn't let them near enough to me to give them a chance. Typically this type of person has a personality disorder, that means that they truly can't change. What they do and how they deal with others is their personality! So instead of just taking them as they were, I decided to calm my own life down and leave them alone.