Strictly4MyGrind Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 I was jus wondering how many of yall would forgive your g/f-b/f is they cheated on you? Would you hate them for the rest of your life or forgive them straight away? I havent cheated or anything just want to to kno yall opnions..... So Forgive And Forget? Link to comment
Midvalley Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 A subject I know only too well. I want to think i'd dump them in a heartbeat, but its never that simple. I always want to try again, to try to forgive, although its essentially impossible. Even if you forgive the person, you keep the scar of their betrayal. In turn you may not treat them as well as you once could, and it will probably end your relationship as a side effect. My favorite quality of a person is virtue, I can never continue to believe a person whom has betrayed me is "perfect" as much as id like to. Link to comment
tiger_lilies Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Never forget...that would be plain stupid, why? Because you have to learn from this mistake and NOT repeat it. Forgive? Maybe. It all depends on how sorry the cheater is. If the cheater is truly sorry and willing to do anything it takes to win back the love that he carelessly betrayed, then forgiveness is possible. But the never ending effort must be there. Link to comment
ksk0_0 Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Never forget...that would be plain stupid, why? Because you have to learn from this mistake and NOT repeat it. Forgive? Maybe. It all depends on how sorry the cheater is. If the cheater is truly sorry and willing to do anything it takes to win back the love that he carelessly betrayed, then forgiveness is possible. But the never ending effort must be there. You took the words out of my mouth Link to comment
Jetta Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 It really depends. My ex cheated, lied about it, and I left. Some people can work through it, usually because the are honest about what they did and beg for forgiveness, but even that is a rough road. Link to comment
SugarSweetness407 Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 I agree with the forgive...but when you really forgive someone you do it for your self...not really for the other person and forgiveness can be really hard, but in the end you must forgive to save yourself...and help yourself...but forgetting i dont think that is possible....like tiger lilies wrote you need to learn from it. I have been in this situation, i actually caught my ex boyfriend with a girl once at the park, he played it off at first saying that she was nobody and i thought he could be telling the truth at first because there was another boy there and i didn't know if that girl was with him, until my ex wouldn't hug me infront of her. Then i realized she was with HIM! there was a big fight and as the day went on i found out that she had hung out with him times before, and eariler that day, now i dont know if anything happened between them, he said no but he lied a lot so it was hard to believe him, but that was besides the point..and that wasn't the first time he's gone out with other girls. I just really feel that forgetting it ever happened would be like being okay with it, and just letting it go and not really learning from it, but forgivness is needed to help you with yourself. Which is something i am now learning, that is one reason along with many why my ex and i broke up because he could no longer be trusted, and everytime i looked at him or heard someone say the name Melissa i would want to break down and cry. Thats just my view on the whole situation....thanks for reading... Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Trust is always something that any serious boyfriend I've had, has had to really earn. It's not that I am an overly-suspicious/ paranoid person, but I do believe that letting someone into your mind and your heart too quickly can set you up for disappointment. I trust people who prove that they can be trusted. That being said, I don't think I would ever be able to forget my boyfriend cheating on me. Ever. I would defeinitely forgive, but I couldn't continue the relationship. I am a firm believer, that once trust is gone, it never comes back the way it was originally. A relationship cannot last and is unhealthy when there is not enough trust between two people. If I did choose to try again, I would probably live my life in fear, doubt, sadness, and anger. Link to comment
deviousj420 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 forgiveness is very powerfull. forgetting just makes you weak. if some has been cheated on then the cheater needs to exert every effort to be trusted again. it wont be easy and could take weeks, months, hell... even years... but if its really wirth it, if thats something you believe to be truly worth it then go for it... walking away is hard, if this is no the first time, then run away! but i believe in second chances mainly because ive needed them) but first find out whwy the person cheated, why they lied , what were thier motives...? if there truly is love there than embrace it and accept it and acknowledge that its not easy but it CAN work. if you fel as tho its not worth then thats ur opinion but im just giving you mine. you can fogive, it will not be easy, it will take a long time. and thoses memories will always haunt you.... but forgivness is the greater power. Link to comment
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