Broke up with my bf and not sure if i want to be friends

[sadeyes]

I decided to give my best friend of over a year a chance on a romantic level. Things were alright...he treated me good but things were just awkward. I ended up dumping him because i felt that we werent meant to be together. He told me that he understood, but then he went and told all of our friends that i didnt give him a reason. Then, he called me back and asked me if i wanted to hang out. I said sure but then he told me that he didnt want to see my face. So, i hung up because i thought that he was being really rude. Then 20 minutes later, he showed up at my house!! He was bearing gifts...and over the fact that he "didnt want to see my face." The whole breakup gave me a look at his personality that i dont like at all. We have said that we are going to go back to the way things were, but i dont know if i can. I feel like i dont really know him anymore.

I tried to confront him about this but he always turns everything back on me...giving me the guilt trip. I am just so tired of all of the lies. He never tells me the same story twice. Also, thinking about him touching me repulses me. I dont understand...all we did was make out.

I am totally confused on this one. Do i need to give him time or am i really the one that is wrong? Is is wrong to demote him from best friend status because of what happened?

 

Any input would be greatly appreciated!!

[Kaia]

I cannot say much other than I've been in a similar situation. My ex was my best friend turned into bf and very shortly after the breakup he also showed me a side of his personality that I don't like.

 

All I can say is that maybe it's a shock to him that he doesn't know how to deal. But that doesn't give him the right to guilt trip you either. I think no contact would be beneficial until your ex is over you (or until he can accept that breakup is a fact). As for thinking about him getting intimate with you, I think it's normal because you don't feel about him romantically anymore.

[SilverManic]

I also had the same problem with my last boyfriend. He was a very close friend to me before the relationship started, a very important part of my life. He's now left me and won't speak to me even though I've compleatly changed everything I do to respect his feelings and privacy. I know we will probably never be friends now because he is just so cold to me after the break up. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but it's just the fact that they can be so cold. Confused as you would be if it were you being dumped prehaps? But I agree with Kaia they show you a side of their personality you don't like.

He has not right to guilt trip you, leave him behind and move on. If he wants to be your friend he'll follow and find a way.

~S.

[Day_Walker]

If you dont want to be friends with him then dont be friends with him.