usied Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 lend me and ear and a few moments of your time!! i have a hard time forgiving and forgetting . i have these burdens resting on my shoulders, but i don't know how to relieve them. i just want to move on and be a better person, im sick of feeling abandoned, hurt , or used. Link to comment
XxxMUAHxxX Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Well.. to be honest its not something you can just snap your fingers and do. It takes time and effort. My opinion is that you could just try to not get mad, and think things through thoroughly. Whenever you are angry at someone, walk away, go somewhere quit and think about what you would do in there situation. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Forgiveness is a choice. It does not mean that you have to forget what someone did to you that hurt, and in that way you learn a valuable lesson from the experience, but you make the choice to let go of the anger and forgive, and then you do. If you've learned from the experience, you are less likely to fall victim to that experience again, and it helps shape the person you become: wiser, stronger, and more empathetic. It feels really good. Link to comment
GettingOverIt Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 I agree with Hope. It is a choice, whether we forgive others or we need to forgive ourselves. Sometimes, forgiving someone isn't so much the issue as forgiving ourselves is the issue. I am probably the most forgiving person I know. I am to a fault, and I know it. But, like Hope said, just because you forgive someone of something does not mean you let that person (or any other person) do the same thing to you again (again, and again and again, in some of my experiences). I think the most important part of forgiving someone is TELLING that person that you forgive them for the action they performed. Be specific about it. And, if you need forgiveness, ask for it. You might not get it, but at least you asked, and what they choose to do with it is not under your control or really even your concern. Forgiving someone who has hurt you, really hurt you bad, is very hard. And if you can forgive them, and learn from the experience, and then be able to say to that person, "I forgive you for hurting me when you..." Trust me, you will see a change in yourself. If you have hurt someone, find them and tell them you know you hurt them, and that you are truly sorry and that you would like their forgiveness. Getting forgiven for something can also help you on the road to forgiving other people.... Link to comment
sidhat Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Just remmember 2 things in life.. FORGIVE or FORGET... You need to choose one.. think and take a step... GOOD LUCK... Link to comment
drahcir Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Sorry, I don't understand....do you have problems forgiving OTHERS or forgiving yourself? Link to comment
usied Posted January 6, 2005 Author Share Posted January 6, 2005 forgiving others..i keep situations that happen with me..and let it get to me Link to comment
Bibora Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Just remmember 2 things in life.. FORGIVE or FORGET... You need to choose one.. think and take a step... GOOD LUCK... I think its easier to forgive than forget... Although sometimes its hard to forgive... But check my signature Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 We're in the same boat hun. I have a hard time forgiving.......and I never forget. Im also stubborn like a mule. Trust is something that I value very highly. I have never intentionally hurt anyone in my life, and I guess I just want everyone I surround myself with to be the same. Once I lose trust in someone, whether it's a boyfriend or a friend, it never comes back. I have an excellent memory, and although I might forgive someone their transgression, I don't forget it either, and I watch my step. I don't think there really is a cure. You don't have to forgive people, and if they really hurt you that bad, maybe you aren't really missing out on much by not including them in your life. Link to comment
Princess 01 Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 I am not a very forgiving person. I tend to use the situation towards a person to keep them away from me. No matter what the person does to make it better I will forgive but I NEVER FORGET. Maybe in time I will learn to grow and learn to forgive and forget. Who knows I might just be able to let go of a lot of animosity. As for trust I am not even going to discuss that matter it might take the whole day. Link to comment
drahcir Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 SOmetimes you just HAVE to forgive someone. If you are stuck working with, going to school with, or living with someone who has hurt you then its better to forgive than to be resentful everyday. Better to forgive and forget. There are lots of people who who have hurt me but who I can't avoid. So i think its better to just forgive and forget than be miserable everyday. Link to comment
Jetta Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Like everyone else said forgiveness is a choice. Yes it can be hard when someone has caused great pain to forgive them, but carrying that anger only hurts yourself. I have experiences that have taken a very long time to forgive, but I am and have forgiven. I consider forgiveness a life lesson. One technique is writing down each name and each event, then say I release this pain and forgive you, and then burn or tear up the paper. I haven't actually gone this far, I just mentally list the people and event and say I forgive you. If you feel anything when the event comes up acknowledge and release the pain. I usually say "I forgive ***** and release this pain to God", the universe, etc. It works for me. There was a time when I couldn't even cry because I had shut myself down so much. Good luck. Link to comment
shademan Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 I'm no therapist yet i believe there is no forget , temporary maybe but to actually forget thats not possible , i found peace in living in denial believing im superior and that all humans are pathetic Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Can you forgive maybe if you allow it. but forgetting is no easy task. Link to comment
berserk Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 You dont need to forgive anyone or forget anything. Letting burdens or past memories bother or own you is a choice. Remember that feelings arent emotions that happen to you. Feeling are reactions you choose to have. Here are the words from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. "No one can depress you. No One can make you anxious. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you anything other than what you allow inside." Just remember you choose your burdens you choose to *have* to forgive. If you like reading i suggest you look into Dr. Wayne W. Dyers books. Link to comment
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