Is this an inappropriate relationship with my boss?

[Helpey]

I have worked at my job for about 4 years, and the boss in question snagged me from a temporary employment agency. Since that time, he has put me on multiple projects and been my cheerleader. He tells me pretty consistently that he looks at me like his stubborn little sister, and he feels that God has put it on his heart to help me. He is harder on me than anyone else in the establishment, a screw up for me is a way bigger offense than anything anyone else can do.

 

He mentors me almost once a week... which is more like an hour long lecture about my personality, and how he knows that I have had some bad things happen in my past and now I don't trust anyone. (I have never told him that, he just assumes because of what he gathers on my personality.) He gives me advice on how to be successful, and mentions pretty consistently that my attitude may put men off because it is obvious that I am a little damaged. He shares details about his past that have made him the person he is today. Everyone in the office calls me his pet, and says, "It's obvious you're his favorite."

 

About a year ago he decided that he was going to buy health insurance for me and my 3 kids, if I would agree to go to church with him and his wife & kids.

 

Can anyone please tell me if I am overreacting in thinking that this might be getting inappropriate? Or he may have some kind of bad motives going on? I'm not always a good judge of character, and don't really know what to think about all of it. Please help!!

[mhowe]

He is acting like your father. You go to church with his wife and kids. If you are damaged to the point of needing his direction...there's nothing wrong. He has made you his project. While a bit over the top...it isn't mean spirited nor harassment.

[Helpey]

I don't think I am damaged to the point of needing his direction... I am a single mom of 3 and do pretty well for us! Thank you for your take on it, I appreciate it!

[offplanet]

It sounds like it might be due to his religion. How do you feel about him treating you like this?

[Fudgie]

Some people (men/women) are just like this. They are generous and like to be a mentor and to take someone under their wing. I think the fact that you haven't had any romantic/sexual overtures from him AND he's bringing you around his wife/kids and taking you to church with them, well, I don't think he has an ulterior motive in terms of bedding you. I think he may just really enjoy that paternal role.

 

If YOU feel uncomfortable or feel that it's inappropriate, then by all means, stop the relationship.

 

I can't help but wonder what his wife feels. I am not married but I can't imagine I'd be all that thrilled if I found out that my husband was buying health insurance for some woman at his job and her 3 kids.

[Helpey]

It makes me a little uncomfortable, just because it seems odd to me that someone would genuinely be just that nice of a person. I guess it can happen, and I should shut up and let it go!

[mhowe]

Many religious people take to heart the saying of *helping ones fellow man (or woman).

[Baudilaire]

I agree with what Fudgie said about people wanting to sometimes take people under their wing...Some people want to be a hero. As long as he's not being inappropriate then there might not be anything to worry about.

It can be annoying when people try and save you and mentor you when you don't need it.