Is my girlfriend bored of my lifestyle?

[JDMxTeGrA101]

Ok guys Ive been with her for almost 4 years now and I think she's bored of me. We used to have the biggest spark during our first 2 years and everything would always be exciting. We would go out alot and everything we would do would be exciting and she would be so interested aswell.

 

These past few months is when I noticed she isnt as excited anymore. We did go on a getaway during august which was fun and sparked it back up then it started to dwindle down again. She just started her full time job where she works alot of hours and I also work 50 hour weeks. Weekdays for some reason I like to just work then go home and relax or hit the gym. I don't like going out on weekdays and I do have the chance to but I choose to save money and just go to the gym and sleep early for work. Everyday she would ask me the same thing which is what am i doing after work and id always say gym.

 

I personally think im starting to become boring as I'm growing older but weekends is when I like to go out but Im growing over everything. My friends still go out to bars and clubs but I just feel like I dont find it fun anymore. I feel like I am too available for my gf as I am always saying yes to seeing each other alot.

 

She just came from a work related vacation and seems like she met alot of guys as she added them on facebook. She was out for 3 days and only texted me the whole time while I would call her once a day before i go to bed. She came over yesterday after she got back and feel like she didn't miss me at all. She just came by and dropped me food and went to bed. Maybe she was tired but she wasnt affectionate. Maybe I should keep myself more unavailable for now. What do you guys think?

[itsallgrand]

I think, ok so you have been together for four years - and have you spoke about living together or marriage or what you two see for a future together?

 

Four years is a long time to keep up the excitement of early dating. Sure, it's important to have fun and enjoy your time together no matter how long you are together or the level of the relationship. But it's also totally normal for two people who have been together for a while to get to know each others routines, and being part of each others day to day lives is actually part of what can make a relationship meaningful. At least, it always has been for me and others I know.

And well, it's hard to do that if you are just dating ad infinitum. The relationship has to have some destination, some shared vision together, y'know?

 

Also, I do not think it is your responsibility as a boyfriend to entertain her all the time. If she needs or wants that, you gotta decide if you are up to doing that for the as long as it is you plan on being with her. Unless you are neglecting her, and truly just sitting around watching tv all the time and taking her for granted, then I think it's not a big deal to be a little 'boring' once in a while. Everyone is really; most of anyones life is mundane things and routines. Even so called exciting lives.

 

Another thing that crossed my mind is if there is compatibility here. Maybe you outgrew each other a bit. If you are settling down, but she is still in party hard mode, maybe you just are not as good of a fit anymore.

 

Which goes back to, where is the relationship heading?

[mrb]

Great reply above!

 

I know exactly the feeling, except I kind of gave everything up to be with her because she was always so needy. Sounds to me like a talk needs to happen to see how you both feel about eachother, the relationship, and like said above, where things are going.

 

It's probably the ideal situation for good old gig sysndrome to rear it's ugly head.

Out of curiosity, what age are you guys?

Hoping the best for you my friend

[bulletproof]

Maybe you need to find something new to get into on weekends, something that doesn't involve her. Maybe take a class in something you're passionate about, join a sports league, a meetup group, volunteer somewhere, etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with being bored by bars and clubs; they can be boring.

 

Perhaps it's not your gf that's bored by your lifestyle. I think it might be you that's bored with your lifestyle. So mix it up. There's a good chance that a happy by-product will be the improvement of your relationship.