i called my ex about 10 times when i was intoxicated and now

[kimmie61788]

When i got drunk it was just with me and my friend but when i get drunk i seem to wanna be with him. SO i called my ex about 10 times which is alot. and now he isnt talking to me. I feel so bad for what i did. I tried calling him the next day and he didnt answer so i left a message on his phone. And he still hasnt responded. I dont know what to do. Im so in love with him and i dunno what to do anymore. Just please if u have any advice it would really help. Thanks

[Scout]

Well, first of all, do you realize what the bigger problem is here? You are drinking alcohol to the excess that it is causing you to do things that leave you absolutely mortified the next day AND is quickly burning any remaining bridges between you and your ex.

 

So ease up on the booze, ok? Trust me, I've done so many stupid things when I've had too much to drink. It's just not worth it.

 

Regarding your ex, I understand how you feel. It hurts - a lot. The alchohol also makes you more depressed the next day. It's scientifically proven that alchohol is a depressant. Another reason to ease up.

 

I think for now you should concentrate on healing yourself - physically and mentally. A lot of physical exercise actually releases endorphins in your body that will make you feel more balanced, at peace, and generally renewed. When we increase our physical strength and well-being, our mental state only improves as well.

 

Tell yourself something like this: "These feelings about my ex are causing me a great deal of stress. Right now, there is nothing I can do to control how he feels. So I have to accept that, and work only on what I can control - myself and where I'm at in life right now. So I must do good, positive things for myself. Perhaps in the future things with my ex will change. Until that time, I am going to let go - and let the Universe take over. In the meantime, I will love and respect myself, and treat my emotions and body with honor, every day."

 

You see, that is something you have a great deal of control over. And you will be very surprised to see what positive things will be an outcome of this new attitude, if you practice it every day. Love has a way of finding those who love themselves.

 

You can do this!

[ReadyorNot]

Im just wondering why at 16 you were so drunk??? Is that a regular habit??/

[kimmie61788]

Help me i feel so weak, i feel as if i have no control over my body any more. Its like i cant do anything about it. I have been takin adderal xr like everyday that my friends feel me. NOt eating until night time and not even eat that much. I just dont know what to do. I am not .. thereforeee not telling anyone that i have this problem, I just need help to get through this by myself. I smoke whenever im haungry. ANd im afraid of gaining weight. I am so mean to my parents all the time. And i dont know why cuz they just bought me a brand new 05 kia. And i ranaway 3 times. I just need to love myself but it seems as if i dont care about what happens to myself....

[Scout]

Could you make a monumental effort and ask your parents to join you in the living room, because you have something to tell them?

 

And when they do, tell them you think you have an eating disorder, and want to see a therapist?

 

I can understand if you don't feel comfortable telling your parents some of the things you just told us. But these are things a therapist should know, and can help you with.

 

Unfortunately, there are many teen-agers out there who feel the same enormous pressure to be skinny, like you do. And it's killing their spirit and natural happiness - not to mention their lives, sometimes.

 

As you can now attest to, it's pretty much ruining your life. You are miserable. You're in a terrible bind - you're not letting any good nutrients in your body, only the bad, like smoking, drinking, and whatever these drugs your friends are giving you. It's physically affecting you.

 

I understand you feel guilty about how you're treating your parents. You can do something about this. Don't go out with your friends tonight. Talk to your parents. Tell them quite frankly you need them and you need them to get you help, ASAP.

 

You can do this. It will take some courage on your part, but you can do it.

[Scout]

One more thing - my first instinct was to tell you to find new friends who are a better influence. However, I realize that may not be so easy. So, instead of asking you to take on that huge task all at once, maybe you can start with something a little easier. Remember though, this is IN ADDITION to talking with your parents tonight.

 

Ask one of your friends to start jogging with you. Or hiking. Or swimming. Or biking. Some kind of exercise. Make a deal that you will do this at regular times, consistently. Make it something fun. If two of you start to do something physically healthy, and your other friends see that it is a source of great enjoyment and bonding, THEY may very well become influenced to join the two of you.

 

And once you take up something that is physically good for you, and you start to reap the benefits - a clear mind, a strongly beating heart, sleeping well at night, a healthy appetite while keeping a fit figure - smoking, drinking and doing drugs will honestly start to repulse you. Your body won't accept or want any of it.

 

This is something else you can concentrate on in addition to talking with your parents and hopefully seeing a good therapist that can give you more positive direction as well.

[martyj]

i read your post and it is similar to me although i never sorted out my problem until now

 

I finished my relationship by text message when i was so drunk that my ex doesnt want to get back with me and believe me i really loved her but by damaging my body to the extent of abnormal behaviour i lost the person i love.

 

So i took the decision to stop drinking as i must have a problem to do that and i will go to a therapist to sort it. It might not bring the girl of my dreams back, but as time goes by i will meet someone who i can show respect to.

 

I am fortunate that my ex wishes me well and there is no animosity from her side she just cant forget what i have done and in time that wound will heal but only if i sort my own life out as she wont have respect for me and i wont have respect for myself.

 

I talked to my folks about it and they have been so supportive and it was harder i think cos i am old enough to stand on my own two feet whereas when i was your age well i wasnt but that may be different for you.

 

I too smoke alot of cigarettes and took lots of drugs but i have cut the drugs out and intend to cut the cigarettes out when i have seen my counsellor about the drink problem.

 

I know you love your ex and in time they will speak to you but you need to excude a self confidence which will only be real if you deal with your problems.

 

I wont get my ex back which hurts as i was wanting to marry her but one positive is that i can get my life back. We live in a culture that is surrounded by drink and drugs and i think in a few years time we will all see friends go through serious problems because of over consumption.

 

I used to think that i was invincible but, now realise that these substances play a trick on you i hope you manage to take the right steps which are the hardest right now as everyday feels hard to me but i am in this position for a reason and although alone just now i need to fight to get my strenght, health and real personality back.

 

Believe me you are not alone!

[Scout]

I know you love your ex and in time they will speak to you but you need to excude a self confidence which will only be real if you deal with your problems.

 

Exactly. Marty, you may just be on the verge of getting help yourself, but your post is brilliant and will go along way towards helping everyone who reads it. I hope Kimmie will take it to heart.

 

This is why I love eNotalone - the time people take to empathize with others, share their own experiences, and most importantly, what they learned from them. It really, really helps.

[martyj]

Thanks Scout i hope Kimmie reads it too and believe me admitting the problems i have felt embarrassing at the time but, better than continuing in a destructive pattern

 

I think about my ex all day everyday, she is a good person but i would imagine scared of what i did.

 

She is going away next year for a year anyway but i wouldve stuck around as she is a great girl but, if this never happened then would i ever have sorted myself out or if she had come back would i have respected her in the condition i was in. Sometimes when you step outside of the circle you see what you are doing and thats the hardest thing to do.

 

What i also did was i have purchased the Love Tactics book as i want to do some self help in the love arena too as i feel that i havent done well in those stakes for lots of reasons but i believe you can train yourself to be whatever you want to be.

 

I love eNotalone too, and it has got me through some real bad times and also when times were good i still remembered that it wasn't that way for everyone.

 

life is so open these days that you have to be a strong, happy person to attract a similar type. My ex really is the best person you can hope for but she has her own dreams and mind and it doesnt revolve around a bad relationship which is how it ended up.

 

I hurt her deeply i really really know that but, she has been kind enough to not let me feel like i am a bad person she had the heart to wish me well as well she probably feels that as she is going away that it was probably not meant to be.

 

Anyway 2005 is a year i need to work on myself i have admitted it i cant drink anymore it wasnt to get her back it was because it was ruining my life and my perception of the world.

[kimmie61788]

i just cant do it anymore...i cant tell my parents anything!! that i am what i am because they will do something drasitc. THey just keep tellin me taht i am a mistake. i feel hopeless i cant stop smoking and i havent ated a real meal in who know hows long....i dont know what to do im just bones help..........maybe everything happens for a reason..idk

[martyj]

maybe everything does and you have to take the hard route here as telling your parents is.

 

It is important to take care of yourself, easy to say i find it hard too

 

But you don't seem to have any other option.

[kali171]

kimmie,

 

ahh, i see you going through the same thing i went through a few years ago - with the drinking and the eating. it's like you want control in your life, but you can't figure out how to find it. but trust me babe, i've been through enough to know that drinking and not eating is not the way to gain control in your life.

 

i'm sorry your parents aren't more supportive and loving. each one of us has issues with our parents at one time or another. but i guarantee you that they all do love us, even if they don't show it how we'd like them to. they may say hurtful things when they are angry. but the important thing is to forgive them.

 

but take heed on our advice. stop the drinking babe. trust me it isn't worth it. alcohol does funny things to you - it affects how your brains and emotions develop - and at your age, hon, it can be detrimental.

 

the things with alcohol is that even though it would make us feel uninhibited and carefree, being drunk justifies almost nothing. like, even though you called your ex many times, to him it is not an excuse for the way you acted.

 

chill out for a minute. you can't rely on a boy to make you happy. i've been there done that. you gotta take responsibility for your own happiness. talk to a counselor maybe?