I don't know how to feel about this relationship?

[Anon4815162342]

I started going on dates with a guy shortly after ending a 5 year relationship. It eventually started to become more like a relationship, with even his roommates referring to me as his girlfriend. So we decided to be official about 3 months ago. We spend most weekends together( we've been working in different cities for he past 3 months), I text him all day most days( with him initiating it). He makes plans for things in the future all the time. For instance, he said at the beginning of next march, we should watch a bunch of horror movies because that's what we had done the first time he was at my apartment. Then he apologized for planning so far ahead. He's trying to convince me to going to grad schools that he wants to go to. But we haven't said I love you. It's weird to have all of these future plans considerations without having really talked about if there's a true commitment. But there's things he's done to make me uncomfortable in the relationship(which I don't think he meant to do). For example, a while after we were official he drunkenly added our relationship to Facebook. The next morning he deleted the post because "people were liking it". I just don't see why it would matter with it just being Facebook. That made me feel like he would rather people or someone not know. But he always wants to have my hand or have his arm around me in public. I'm just unsure of why it feels like a serious and casual relationship at the same time. And I'm still afraid of commitment after my last relationship.

[BigKK]

Why not talk to him about it?

 

Sounds like you shouldn't of jumped into a relationship if you feel you're afraid of commitment.

 

 

As far as the facebook thing, that's kinda weird, a lot of people don't like to advertise their relationships, maybe that's what he felt. Furthermore it's a little childish to make your girlfriend your girlfriend on facebook, but never say it to her?

[Anon4815162342]

No we talked about being official so he definitely calls me his girlfriend. And he did before he put it on Facebook. I just thought it was weird for him to not want it on his Facebook even though he added it.

Also, a day or two after we were "official" he randomly said, "hey I don't want to put this on Facebook" or something in that blunt kind of manner. His explanation was that he didn't want to add it before the important people in his life were told first. That was also weird because I had made no mention of it previously, and I told him that. He apologized later when he realized what it seemed like.

And about the jumping into a relationship, that's how I feel about it. I was upfront with him about not wanting a relationship because of fear of the same things happening again. But we continued to talk and I asked if we could just be FWB. *mistake I know* but it just never felt like just sex. And he'd stay over and reassure me, check up on me, ask me about important things to me like how a presentation went. I just didn't want to pass up a good thing even though it was at the wrong time to have found it.