what am I thinking

[sophie1290]

Well me and my other half live have lived together for just over a year now and we are very happy but hes currently started a new job . . He talks about work when he gets home and talks about the lads there but theres one lad who stands out to me and recently I cant stop thinking about him . . I have been to like parties and do's eg one of the lads birthdays and engagements with my partner and hes always been there . . I know him and his partner are having problems coz he talks to my partner about them and he came close to staying at ours due to them spliting and thats how I know! I feel wrong for feeling this way! Also apparently him and my partner always talk about me at work what am I feeling?

[TheBigBird]

my advice would be to stay away from this "lad" you and your partner love each other? and you are happy? sometimes you just feel like your other half is always there and you want something new, but in the end you'll realize that its him you want. Don't do the wrong thing.

[notalady]

Classic grass is greener on the other side. It's not abnormal to feel attracted to someone else, even when you are in a happy relationship, the key is to not act on it and distance yourself from that guy. It'll pass in no time.

[sophie1290]

I just carnt shake this feeling off, ive even opened up to my mum about it all (I think she thinks its a joke) thank you tho

[notalady]

Well how long have you been feeling like that? I'm just thinking that you may just need more time to get over it.

[sophie1290]

Since hes been speaking to him and I said bout him nearly staying at ours which wud of made things harder . . But thing is we have a few parties planned and hes guna be at both

[notalady]

You can always just keep your contact with him at a minimum at these parties. No reason why you can't manage your actions despite how you feel.

 

One of my best friends, who was with her bf of 9 years (now fiancé, they are getting married in a couple months) and couldn't be happier, had a crush on a colleague of hers seveal years back, and the guy was clearly interested in her as well, they get along really well and always have so much to talk about. I was almost certain she was going to leave her bf for the new guy, because back then that's what I thought people do, they leave their partners when they fall for someone else. Spoke to her several months later (we are not living in the same country), she said she didn't do anything about the crush, she realised that she loves her bf and he's the one for her, and she just knew eventually the crush will pass. And it did. Smart girl that one.

 

That's when I realised there is really no excuse for people who lack self control and act on it when it comes to having feeling for people other than their partner, ultimately if you love someone, you know what's the right thing to do and you will do it.

[Fudgie]

Temptation is everywhere, really. notalady is right, like her friend, you can always distance yourself and the crush WILL fade, promise.

 

You may have some parties planned but you can avoid him at those parties. Don't go up and make conversation with him, just be cordial. I think it's a good idea that he's not staying at your place. If your boyfriend asks if he can again, I would tell him no.

[sophie1290]

Thank you everyone for your replies . . I do hope this feeling goes cz it could cause stress on my real relationship! I hope its a thase x

[sophie1290]

My partner has got home from work tonight and keeps talking about the lads at work ( something happened at work) and he keeps talking about the lad I have spoke about . . But I carnt tell him to stop talkin about him cz then he will click on