Games?

[fed up]

would love to hear some men's input? what is it with hot and cold behaviour? when he and I first started dating last year, he had spent the previous two months playing cat and mouse, it was frustrating and confusing. then we were together for almost one year, with all sorts of problems, and although we love each other a lot, I broke up with him because things were not healthy. we've been broken up for over a month and he's starting the cat and mouse thing again, but just with love declarations now. is this to keep me hooked? to prevent me from emotionally moving on? he says when he can be whole again one day he wants to return to a life of happiness. We are both mid-40's and personally I do not have the time or patience for games. I realize strict no contact is probably best..... but....

[DancingFool]

There is no but. Nobody can play with you and mess with your head and emotions unless you let them and you should be old enough to know that.

Hot + cold = not that into you.

Do yourself a favor and go no contact and get on with your life. You can't force something that was dysfunctional from the get go into the healthy relationship that you want. At the same time, loitering in this mess is actively preventing you from finding that relationship that you want to have.

[fed up]

he knows I love him a lot also, so I wondered if tat is why e tries to keep me hanging. I will stop responding - will get back in touch with him only when its time to pick up my car tires when I move in 4 weeks. thanks

[HeartGoesOn]

We are both mid-40's and personally I do not have the time or patience for games. I realize strict no contact is probably best..... but....

 

Then, why participate?

 

You're leaving a door open, which will eventually slam shut. Don't you deserve more?

[3Tears]

Hot/cold, push/pull whatever it is, DO NOT look too much into it, it'll drive you NUTS and will make you start assuming things that aren't real.

[fed up]

The hot/cold was before we ever got together last year. Once we started seeing each other he was all about us, progressing the relationship super fast, at about month six both of our flaws started to be revealed... issues started and we weren't great at resolving them. When we broke up last month there was a lot of stress... its only last week that he started love declarations again, but that's the confusing part. He doesn't do well during stressful times (which he has been going through again) so yeah it"s my decision if I want to get back on the roller coaster again.

[3Tears]

When ever people reconcile you need to take things slowly, like the very first time you guys started talking... keeping things casual and slowly working your way up. You can't jump in back together and start doing all the things you guys were doing before you broke up, its going to end again, quickly too.

[fed up]

Hmmm, thanks 3tears....I actually do recognizing myself that I need to work on patience....