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Well.. Thursday night after work I am supposed to go with my boyfriend to his house- and no one will be home. I want to have sex with him, I have totally decided. The thing is that it is my first time and I know I'll be nervous, but I know I want to do it. I thought about being on top, that way I could control how things are going...but I dont like my body and wont want him to look... Any tips on how to just wein myself into it?

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About a year ago, I was in exactly the same position. Self-conscious, worried.


If this is the time, and you think you're ready, do what you feel is natural. And if he is sincerely attracted to you that he would want to be your first, then I'd say you shouldnt worry about him seeing you. A lot of men are shallow, and unless other factors are included, a lot wont have sex with someone they arent attracted to. I wouldnt worry! (I hope that made sense)


As for positions, yes, you being on top will let you control what's going on and how fast. Missionary might feel more...instinctive, but you'd be less in control. Go with what feels what right.

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Hey! Ok, no worries about the first time! Mine was pretty spontaneous but i know, trust me, do not go on top for your first time!! If its not his first time, he'll know what to do and its better, even if you think youre useless, to just lie there. Youre not gonna enjoy it anyway right away so theres no point in trying different positions. If you feel like youre comfortable enough to move after a while (maybe itll hurt at first so only move after it doesnt) then follow his rythm , his body. Dont be nervous, you care about him, he cares about you. No matter what happens hes gonna understand

Take care, if you need anymore tips, write me a message

good luck and have fun!

Mel xox

PS Go Slow!

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I can relate to your situation. Before I first had sex I tried to overplan it so that there would be no mistakes, no bloopers so to speak. Honestly though, whatever is going to happen is going to happen.


Since you haven't experienced sex before, it's hard to gauge what is going to feel best to you. If you do decide to go through with your plans and actually have sex, I would recommend taking it slow and seeing what feels good to both of you in terms of positions. No amount of prior discussion is going to prepare you for the real thing, and just for the record, I have never heard of anyone having the "perfect sexual experience" the first time around. It takes time to figure out what you want, so feel free to experiment.


On the subject of your body issues, all I can recommend is that you maybe take some time to come to terms with your body. There is a myth out there that the female body has to conform to some typical standards to be considered attractive (small hips, no fat anywhere, etc.). If you have a good relationship with this person, odds are that they don't really mind what you look like (or they like what they see!), or they wouldn't be doing what they are doing. I wouldn't worry too much about your body, but if you are that concerned, maybe you should wait. The best sex you will ever have is when you feel completely comfortable with not only your partner but also yourself.


I wish you the very best of luck, and remember to stay safe and use some form of protection! HAVE FUN!

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