dating style-ask em out or make freinds

[joe45]

I was told by a friend since i am an unexperience rookie when it comes to girls, is you have to be friends with them first, talk to em like ur talking to guys and then ask em out. What you don't do is what i did was make small talk with the girl wait a couple of days and make a little more small talk and then ask her out-ur just scaring her and why would she go out with u since she doesn't now u either well enough or at all. this is a scenario off campus in college.

what do u guys think.

[aberdeenhjetman]

well with my (now ex ) gf i just did small talk and stuff. i wasent really looking but she appeard and like me so that helped. but yea after 3 days of knowing her we were goin out. but this was on a camp so we were around each other a lot which again helped.

 

ps. just wait for the right one to come along as well. i thought i was a kinda no for girls but theres always one,just gotta find her

 

gd luck.

[tiger_lilies]

Personally I like the friends approch better than the "mac-daddy" approch. As friends, the boarders come down easier...she doesn't feel threatened, especially if she doesn't know you or any of your friends where she could get some background info from.

 

Being friends is great...but with a bit of flirting mixed into it. Otherwise, she will take you as a friend only and that will spoil your plans.

[DropToZero]

Your friend is right in some ways, but small talk cannot be all you do. If you want it from me, you could read the post I have in 'asking for a date' 'asking out as friends'....being friends with girls works...but I waited too long and was still just a little too friendly I think. You want to get to know them, yes I understand, but you have to flirt, you have to tease.....it cannot be ALL just small talk or she will most likely not think of you anymore than a friend. That's how you get feelings involved, and like tiger_lilies said, to bring walls down. Humor and flirting brings down walls....its an easy way to get on the good side of a girl and have a good time talking at the same time. Good luck

[ShySoul]

Being friends first is the right way to go. It lets you get to know each other and see if you really like you each other before putting any kinds of expectations or pressures associated with dating. I don't think you should even approach a girl with the intent of going out with them. Just approach someone with the goal of getting to know them and being friends. If that leads to something more, that's great. If things feel like they could be going that way, then ask her. But don't force it or make your top priority.

[Raptor]

I think being friends is a good way to start it off. Mix mostly small talk with a little bit of flirting. Until recently I have always made the mistake of being way to friendly and when I did ask them out the girls always took me as just wanting to be friends. With the girl I'm going out with now I did things a little different (although I really didn't plan on this happening). I just always flirted with her lightly and talked to her. We work together and one day we went and got coffee on break. I simply asked her to join me looking at lights and she accepted. I must have made an impression because we have gone out multiple times since.

[SilverManic]

I only go out with friends but then that has backfired on me and lost me some great friends. I would never go out with someone I didn't know..

[CarterJonas]

From my own experience....lol

 

1) Don't go up to a stranger and straight away ask them out, 9 out of 10 times the answer would be no, however a great guy you are (unless you are Brad Pitt or someone). It would be too much of a shock for them!

 

2)Go up and talk to them, use any excuse to break the ice, and while talking to her gauge if she seems geniunley interested in you. If she is ask for her number and call her in a few days. If she seems bored or uninterested in talking to you, then just leave it at that.