Is it possible

[titan]

I am a guy and while i know i don't want to be with my Ex-Girlfriend we are still going out.

 

I just wanted to ask whether its possible to feel sexually attracted to someone and then not...Its all physical so when she mentally gets me upset can it really turn off sexual desire and vice versa.

 

I would like to hear from guys and girls

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

No! She can make u upset, but yet u are still drawn to her too.

[SilverManic]

Lets see. The most decent thing you could do right now is finish with her and tell her why. You need to make up your mind if you want to be with her or not! A past relationship I had with a guy was like this and I apreciated him being honest in the long run because I could move on.

Basically what your going threw is pretty normal if the chemistery is touchy you can get turned on and off by feelings. It's the same for a girl.

[titan]

i mean i know she is hot...but i don't think we are connecting at the moment at least not like we used to and i sorta think she feels the same way....

 

I know when getting back together it takes time....How long do you guys suggest i should give it..ITs been about a week.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

How about giving yourself a month? Just keep in mind ur patience level, it is really one big good guidance.

[titan]

one month

i just don't understand how sexual desire turns off...I can understand mentally not being there but sexually???

 

Maybe its because i am a guy, but i feel as mentioned that it is the same for chicks.

[Prosper]

Hi

 

Sexual desires are very turned off, when u dun miss a person anymore, dun love a person anymore, and not close with her in body terms anymore.

 

In fact, yes, it applies to girls as well.

[Hope75]

titan,

 

At this point sexual desire for her prob. is very connected to your emotions, and if you are not feeling emotionall connected with her it's common for you not to see her as so sexy anymore.

 

My live in ex & I broke up a month ago, towards the end before we broke off he was quite distant and not so interested in me sexually, but since then we are talking alot and trying to work towards poss. getting back together and feeling alot more emotionally connected with each other and yes, still sleeping with one another and he can't keep his hands off me! It's like it was in the beginning.

 

So those two things can be quite connected and affected by each other.

 

I think you could take it slow, maybe try talking about you both feel regarding each other and what you want from each other in terms of a relationship. Maybe once you feel closer to her that way she will become more attractive to you sexually, all the time.

 

My ex & I have been working at it for a month and making great progress but still need more time, each situation is different and you can give it as much time as you feel comfortable with. Just agree with each other as we did that if at any time either of you feels like it's not going to happen or wants to see someone else, you will tell the other person right away and stop sleeping together, and cut ties, that way you'll protect yourself, too.

 

Good luck!

[sisterlynch]

I wish that you would tell us more about what you are talking about...it is an interesting topic.

 

Are you saying that she is sexy, but you don't like her personality anymore?

 

What does she do that upsets you?

[FleX]

I think you two are still seeing each other for the physical comfort. FB's are cool if you two are on the same level.

[titan]

in reply to sisterlynch we are still very attracted to each other, but at times i feel like i am not sexually attracted to her i don't know why and i think she feels the same.

 

My question is when someone mentally upsets you can it affect the physical side??

[sisterlynch]

When we feel emotionally attracted to someone, there is normally a physical attraction as well. We normally want and need to be stimulated emotionally and physically to make a relationship complete.

 

If she has betrayed you deeply or emotionally harmed you, then it is likely that there are physical ramifications as well.

 

If this is a relationship that you can't get out of and don't know how to improve -- I would want you to seek therapy. If that is in the cards for you at all.

[titan]

no no i can get out of it, its just i never have felt like this before. She came passed today and i started really noticing her flaws, whilst before i didn't we had been going out for 3 years so i got a chance to see them but didn't.

 

When you are emotionally hurt it can affect the physical side of things.

I will keep at it for a while and then look at it again.

[OceanEyes]

She came passed today and i started really noticing her flaws, whilst before i didn't we had been going out for 3 years so i got a chance to see them but didn't.

 

I think that most people coming to the end of their relationships notice this. I certainly have; there will be physical/ emotional flaws that you either didn't notice, or that you found "cute" at one time, but now seem unattractive and somewhat disgusting. I think this is a natural way of your mind telling you that it's time to move on.

 

Of course, I think there are times in any relationship where someone has hurt you enough for you to actually find them unattractive. Depending on how much it has impacted your life, it's something that can usually be solved through some quality time/ communication. Sometimes it can't.

 

Being hurt/ disappointed/ angered enough in a relationship can totally affect the physical side. How are you supposed to get into sex if you're not even sure whether or not the person respects you?

[sisterlynch]

He is emotionally distancing himself, which isn't healthy if he is going to stay in the relationship...

[titan]

Well we both have a bit of free time coming up so i know it will be the ideal time to spend time together if i don't have the feeling i will cut it off.