My friendship of years is falling apart

[Lovelavie]

I have this friend whom I've been friends with for about 7 years. The 3 past years we grew closer together and she became my best friend. She started dating this guy she met in college 2 years ago and they're still together. It didn't change much in our friendship but, of course we didn't see each other as much. However, her BF lives in another city and sometimes he doesn't come over on the weekends or on friday, but come on saturday... anyway, she sees him everyday in college, and when he didn't come over she'd invite me over and we'd have a sleepover or watch a movie. During the week she'd come over to my house or I'd go over to hers just to chat, it was nice.

 

However, I'm not much of "stay at home" person, so I'd sleep over at her house to make her happy since she wouldn't go to bars or clubs without her boyfriend, which is ok. However, this year I started a relationship, and my boyfriend also loves going out and we go out together with his friends and my friends every weekend, so... the sleepovers ended because I only see my BF during the weekends, not very much during the week. My friend and I still however saw each other during the week, but she decided she didn't like my BF because of a serious fight I had with him in the beggining of the relationship, but we've been fine for the last months and we get along really well. One day she "forgot" his name and said it wrong, and I think it was on purpose, how could she forget my boyfriend's name and say a totally different name? That made me upset. Since my BF and I go out a lot, we always call our friends to join us and I've called her several times and she never came. She'd always say her BF didn't wanna go, and she was tired, and it was too late. In these 6 months of the year we haven't gone out once because of this! I haven't changed since I started my relationship, I'm still the same person, I still have the same friends, just made some new friends and have someone else to give attention to. But she blamed me saying I wasn't being her friend anymore and I didn't care about her anymore, and started all this drama.

 

My BF's closest friends and my closest friends are all in a relationship, so when we go out, we ALL go out together. But with her, she always asks me to ditch my boyfriend for her because she says she'll be alone, which is not true. I never do this to anyone. Also, when I was single, I went out with her and her boyfriend several times and never asked her to ditch him for me, I just went with them. I've gone out without my BF and our friends were there with they BF's and GF's and it was fine! She also gets mad at me if I don't drop whatever I'm doing to be with her, if I don't cancel whatever plans I have to have a sleepover with her. It's starting to feel more like an obligation and I'm the only one who's been asking her out this year, she didn't invite me to do something once, except for her birthday. I don't know... I really like her of course, we have history together, but this friendship is getting really hard to maintain.

[annie24]

My BF's closest friends and my closest friends are all in a relationship, so when we go out, we ALL go out together.

 

I think this can be fun, but it's also healthy to maintain relationships apart from your partners (like girls' nights out, whatever....). I would be annoyed if a female friend ALWAYS brought along her boyfriend, even if i liked him. Do you think you can compromise with her? See her during the week, have dinner with her, and then spend the weekends with your boyfriend?

[Lovelavie]

I agree, however my girl friends never want a girls' night out, I'm always the one making the plans and believe me, it never works. They want to be with their BFs all the time. So.. I kinda gave up on that and started focusing on just going out with everyone, which always works. However she never even met any of my BFs friends and shows no interest in going out with us.

 

During the week we're both very busy, so it's hard to make time. When we were younger it was easier, that's one of the reasons we saw each other more often.

I don't know what to do things are definitely not the same, but she doesn't make it any easier getting mad at EVERY thing I do, even if it's for the best, blaming my relationship... I just don't get it.