Gay Myths & Realities

[swedeace]

I've noticed that older generation of people I've talked about my cross-sex friendship with a gay guy has brought in two different thoughts and their own perceptions. You see, I can't get ahold of or seem to hang out with my VERY busy cross-sex friend, and then the people I know tell me two different things. Oh, and btw, this has nothing to do with attraction (We're not interested in each other! We both know where we stand - this is strictly about the acquaiantance turning into a friendship):

 

1) The older generations seem to say, "He must be avoiding you because he's afraid his partner is going to be jealous that he's contacting/hanging out with a female.

 

2) The younger generations seem to be more open and just treat him and give me advice accordingly as "just like any friend regardless of the sex."

 

I realize that the older people are still in the slight homophobic mentality. I just kinda get tired of explaining that NOT all gay guys are the same just like not all straight people are the same.

 

So, has anyone noticed these gay myths/realities presented among different age groups? What kinds of myths/realities have you come accross?

[thatguy04]

Oh yes, I have seen many over exaggerated myths and stereotypes being displayed by both generations of people in both sexes. Personally, I blame the media, seeing as the topic of homosexuality is easy to use for fun and comedy. But then again, I wouldnt know if many of them were true or not, seeing as I am quite straight.

[cosqui32]

i know what you eman with the older and younger thing...

 

its stilla taboo for the older generations, evn though some have come to accept becasue of how thing are changing, but not all.

 

the younger accepts it because they are more liberal, and accepting, and beacause the media has helped for people to see it and try to understand even if they dont really...i dont know if that made sense but there is different point of views in the generations

 

but not only that, there are different point of views depending where you come from...

 

for example i am hispanic, my grandparents are from el salvador in central america, when i go over there, my cousins who are my age, do not agree with homosexuality or bisexuality. they were raised very different, third world countries, especially central america, are very religious, and have strong beliefs, el salvadorian are mostly pentacostles, i dont even know if you spell it like that, but they are. and everyone is raised like that, another example people from india, and who are buddhists, they see things like that, like a huge taboo...i bet those who are in the closet will never come out, because its so prohibited...

 

many people accept it, but will never understand....and will always have there way of seeing things...

 

although i feel nowadays, its definitely more easier to accept than 10 years ago...

 

well thats how i see it...

[violetsky]

In the 10+ years that I have been close friends with a gay man, here are some myths that I have come accross that make me sad, but in a way make me laugh because people are so ignorant and ridiculous. Here's a few:

 

1. Not every gay man is effeminate ("swishy")...my friend who is gay is quite masculine...in fact, many friends of mine have no idea he is gay, and many women who see me with him ask first if we are dating, and second if they can have his number (lol).

 

2. Not every gay man wants every man he sees...WHY does every stupid homophobic guy in the world think that he is the object of lust for any gay man he encounters? LMAO...chances are these guys wouldn't have you if you were the last man on earth.

 

3. Not every gay person is a pervert or promiscuous...I know of more mongamous, loving GAY relationships than I do straight ones. The longest-lasting relationship I know is between two men. I can count the number of truly loving, caring marriages between a man and a woman that I know on one hand, and have a finger or two left over. And as far as the pervert thing goes...there are perverts everywhere, gay AND straight.

Gays don't corner the market.

 

And this one sums up a lot of the little myths...

 

4. Not every gay man is:

a) a good dancer

b) a sharp dresser

c) a good cook

d) into interior decorating

e) good with accessories

f) into fixing hair

g) against any type of competitive sport...in fact, some of them can KICK YOUR BUTT at football!!

[cosqui32]

that is true, when a straight person find out that you are gay, les, or bi, then they think you like them or something...

 

i hate that

[drahcir]

You said "The older generations seem to say, "He must be avoiding you because he's afraid his partner is going to be jealous that he's contacting/hanging out with a female"

 

----how does this reflect a homophobic attitude?

[swedeace]

Great list!!

 

I know what you mean about the masculine-type gay. That is my friend as well. At first glance, you'd think he's straight. That's what happened when I first met him.

 

cosqui32: I also frequent a forum where one member from Venezuela is open-minded, and she also has a gay friend. She was telling me how common it is for Central/South America to still have the homophobic mentality. That is very sad. I know what you mean about the

 

drahcir: I didn't mean the "jealousy" was a homophobic attitude. I guess it was wrong timing to add it to my post. I was thinking two different things. More like ranting on about how I've heard this from two older people in their 40s who've told me this. I don't see how it gets stereotyped as happening in ALL situations. From what these people have said, I mean.

[SaSaRai]

god yes grrr... my parents are almost 60 yrs old! and every time i talk to my friend or joke around with him or touch him in any way they think that is gay! ITS NOT, it makes me so mad, cause the younger parents understand. just becuause you TALK to the same sex or anything else doenst mean its gay.

[deep in dust]

is it true that gay men created aids? by having unsafe sex or something?

[violetsky]

Dear God no...

 

There has been research done for years about the origin of the AIDS virus... come to find out, the virus originated from a particular species of monkey who (sometimes) carried the AIDS virus in their systems. Some monkeys who carried the virus were used to make polio vaccines, and those contaminated lots of the vaccine were given to a huge group of people in Africa. This caused the AIDS epidemic in Africa that still exists at this time (ever wonder why there are SO many people in Africa with AIDS?).

 

So many innocent people (many of them children at the time) were vaccinated with this polio vaccine, but they were unwittingly also given the AIDS virus. They went on with their lives, grew up, had families, and spread the virus...oftentimes not even showing symptoms for up to 15-20 years. By then, it was too late (and in most of the early cases, we STILL didn't know why these people were getting sick). In the meantime, other lots of the vaccine were used throughout the world, not to mention world travelers going to Africa and contracting the virus from other people, and other people traveling to other parts of the world where the contaminated vaccine had been given out...it was all a horrible chain reaction.

 

Gay men are NOT responsible for "creating" AIDS...they are just one of the many groups who became victims of it...mainly because of the tendency (at the time) for their particular group to have unprotected sex. People who received blood transfusions were also at risk, because blood was not screened for the virus for years.

 

Oddly enough, it was a reporter for a mainstream magazine (Rolling Stone) who opened the lid on the investigation, and started the medical community on their search for the origin of the virus.

[SaSaRai]

hmm.... so if 2 people of the same sex had sex, and neither one of them have the disease then they wouldnt have to worry about protection?

[cosqui32]

well AIDS is not the only sexually transmitted disease. They may not have AIDS but there ARE different diseases too! Protection is a must, obviously not for pregnancy (DUH) but you never know. Especially if you have multiple partners, but of course if you have a committed relationship, and both have been tested, and that is the only person you gonna be with then you dont need protection, but testing once in a while is good to, because not only can you get diseases through sex but needles, and contact with infected blood, i mean you NEVER know, things happen.

 

I have a personal friend who got infected in the most innocent way, he witnessed a car accident, and ran to help, the car was on fire and he pulled the bloodied guy out, of course he had no time to put gloves and stuff like that, he being a chef usually have small cuts or small burns, which cause small open blisters, got in contact with this guy who had AIDS, never went through his mind, unfortunately the man was very hurt and passed away, a month later a family member of this guy called my friend and told him about the AIDS, of course my friend was scared, sad, everything, but went in time to get treatment, but to know sucks.

 

so if you have multiple or a partner protection is always wise, and testing yourself is good too.

[violetsky]

cosqui32 makes an excellent point...EVERYONE should practice safe sex if there is ANY chance you can contract an STD (and that includes if you are with only one partner, because as cosqui32 points out, there is a risk with the sexual past of both you and your partner).

 

Many people, before the "outbreak" of AIDS (I put this in quotes because the virus was already there, it just hadn't manifested any symptoms yet) had unprotected sex because many STDs were treatable (terrible and life-threatening, but often treatable). There was ALWAYS a health risk, but many chose to take that risk because the STDs everyone knew about were treatable with antibiotics. AIDS was the wake-up call for many (not all, unfortunately) because it cannot be treated with antibiotics.

 

And as noted in the previous post by cosqui32, you DON'T have to have sex to contract the AIDS virus. Blood transfusions, body fluid contact, transfusion of blood products, these are also ways you can get it...not to mention that mothers who are infected can tranfer it to their babies.

[drahcir]

Stopping AIDS is simple. Everyone should simply be faithful to thier partner, and never cheat. If everyone did that, then AIDS would be stopped right now. Whether you are gay or straight, being faithful is the only way to prevent AIDS.

[cosqui32]

AIDS will NEVER be stopped unfortunately, it was always there, but we can minimize the outbreak, being faithful is helpful but you have to consider about poeple's past, for example someone could be faithful with someone but have a heroin problem, or had multiple partner before committing to someone. like i said sex is not the only way to get the virus, its all about protection, preventing situations as much as possible where you can be in contact with the AIDS virus, people need knowledge of this disease and learn how to prevent with common sense.

 

but i do understand what u mean drahcir, something simple could make a change, but unfortunately the world needs more precaution than that!

 

 

 

 

Hope Every one had a great New Years!!!!!!!!!!!