Husband is finally moving out!

[Princess777]

The final straw came a few days ago when he lied to me about where he was and I had proof he was lying.... this happened on more than one occasion. After all of the emotional abuse that I have complained about for nearly 2 years, my husband finally agreed to move out. He is supposed to be out within the next few days... I am going to do the divorce myself. No longer will I be the victim, and no longer will he be able to lie to me. And no longer will he degrade, embarrass, and endanger me.

 

He has gone back to his "roots" of dysfunction and unlawfulness and is engaging in illegal activities, so the sooner he's out, the better. I am stronger now than I have been ever since I met him. I am no longer very jealous of whatever/whoever he hangs around with (he spent Christmas with his ex and their kid and family all day and almost all night and I didn't even care).... I didn't even ask questions afterward...now THAT's progress for someone as jealous as me!!!!!

 

Thank you to enotalone for being here when I needed you the most, through my weakest times, and the "cry all day in the bathroom at work" days.....I will not accept depression to come from within myself and will never, ever take emotional abuse from anyone again.

 

I will make it through this!!!! I am in absolutely no hurry to hook up with anyone, there is no one on the back burner and I feel sorry for the next guy who comes along who is interested in me, cause I'm just really not going to take any crap off anyone ever again!

 

Positive notes: I learned something from this marriage. I learned that you can't change people. They are who they are no matter how much you love them and help them. I learned to slow things down a little. Take a LOT of time to get to know someone before investing too much in them. And the biggest thing I learned is to pay attention to the red flags.... I had a tendency to sweep those under the rug and think, Oh I can fix that. You can't ignore the red flags.

 

Thanks again enotalone!

[PrincessLinzay]

To a fellow Princess Im glad you finally realized that you are one indeed!

 

You are very courageous for finally taking the step to leave an emotionally abusive relationship. It's very hard. Good luck with everything!!!

[SteveNaive]

Hello Princess!

 

I remember your story from my first days at enotalone. I am sorry to hear things developed that way. However, I do admire your courage and your strength to take this step and not let him abuse you emotionally any longer!

 

I think your example can be a source of strength and inspiration for many people around here! Stay strong and keep on going!

 

All the best wishes

Steve

[avman]

Well Princess I'm actually very happy for you. I'm glad you are setting yourself free of captivity and can look forward to a much more rewarding and fulfilling life with someone who truly appreciates you.

 

Good luck!

[Mentor]

I feel sorry for the next guy who comes along who is interested in me, cause I'm just really not going to take any crap off anyone ever again!

 

Positive notes: I learned something from this marriage. I learned that you can't change people. They are who they are no matter how much you love them and help them. I learned to slow things down a little. Take a LOT of time to get to know someone before investing too much in them. And the biggest thing I learned is to pay attention to the red flags.... I had a tendency to sweep those under the rug and think, Oh I can fix that. You can't ignore the red flags.

 

Hi Princess,

 

The next guy who comes into your life will be fortunate to meet someone who has learned the lessons that you have, someone who has the strength that you do. Don't feel sorry for him

[kalshane]

You go girl!! I like what you said about red flags. That's my whole philosophy when trying to figure out if someone is right for you. Mentor is right on the money, too. The next guy will be stoked to have a woman that has learned the lessons you have.

[Cadence308]

It sounds like you have learned from your mistakes. I commend you for getting out of an abusive and dysfunctional relationship. I'm very happy for you that you are not depressed and dwelling on this any longer. I hope that you find happiness.

 

Ballys

[Princess777]

Thank you all for your replies and encouragement!.... Only a few more days and he should be totally moved out. It has not been easy but I find that I cry less and less and for smaller amounts of time. Also, when I do cry, it's more of a pressure relief rather than feeling sorry for myself. That's how I know I'm making progress. I just keep concentrating on the goal, that which is, to get him out. I guess I was so intent on making this marriage work that I ignored all of the horrible things he did to me. Never again!

 

It will be very rough for awhile. One thing that has helped me SO MUCH through this is, someone told me: When something happens to you that normally you would consider very bad or sad and you're feeling depressed about it, think to yourself, "How can I use this to my advantage?".... Wow those words really really helped me!!!!!!!!!!! Not only with my marriage problems but with everything, I mean, if you ask yourself that EVERY time something in your life goes wrong, you will most definitely come up with something!!! And you will automatically feel better.... I know I did. Plus I have to think about how much time in my future would be wasted if I continue the way I am, as opposed to the 2 years of marriage that I will be losing now that I am ending it. The future sure is a lot more than 2 years!!!

 

Happy thoughts to all!!!! Thank you!