what does he expect from me??

[unexpectedvictim57]

um....... im kinda new to this going out thing, and over christmas break im obviously going to go see my bf, but im worrying that we might be alone and he might wanna do stuff........ like not that serious of stuff....... but like him feeling me up, and like us making out one on top of the other.................. and im not sure how to go about this....... we usually start to make out sitting beside each other, but how do we get in a more comfortable position, and im very insecure about my weight and him feeling me up and stuff........ i don't want him to feel my stomch...... but im always so scared to tell him that...... or to tell him no....... everything way to fast and im getting scared...... i don't know what to do when im at his place next week!!

[imdead18]

if you feel uncomfortable just say hey id like to talk to you a little ... or something like that ... and thats it .. if he doesnt stop and you feel uncomfortable .. just say hey id like to stop this now!!!! ... and if he still dosnt stop kick him ... but dont feel uncomfortable about your stomach hes obviously attracted to you so its not biggy ... as for position and stuff ...itll just happen ... hope i helped!!

[From_Now_On]

Don't let him do things you are not comfortable with...trust me, you'll regret it. Talk to him, if he gets upset or acts like a jerk...(and I suppose you might be worried that he will be less than understanding?)....and although that is understandable that you don't want that to happen...it's more important that you are comfortable. It's hard to admit....but if he can't understand that...in the long run, he's honestly not worth it.

[unexpectedvictim57]

ya i guess but im afraid i'll be like a loser and he will tell others i didn't so he thinks i don't like him........

[From_Now_On]

ya i guess but im afraid i'll be like a loser and he will tell others i didn't so he thinks i don't like him........

 

Hun, a guy who would make you feel like a loser because you have respect for yourself enough to admit that you just aren't ready for some things...well that's no guy you want to be with. If he doesn't understand then he really truly is not someone you want to stay with. If he acts like a moron about it, he's the loser. And that's not just "trying to make you feel better" talk. It's true. He's the immature one if he acts like a loser about all this. Don't let him bully you into things that you'll regret. There's someone out there that you will be comfortable with doing these kind of things...in the future, when you are ready. And it will just be a side benefit to a relationship that has real true feelings and not just physical attraction. If you give into this now, you will regret it later.

 

Happy Christmas.

[unexpectedvictim57]

ya i guess.......... but there is no way he is attracted to me physically...... i can't ven believe that he is attracted to me in any way at all aeally....... im the fatest and ugliest girl you ahve ever seen and im the weirdest to.... i liek to hurt myself and experiment with hot pen caps and scissors on diferent body parts....... i don't know why and sometimes i wish thta he would dump me because he must be stringing me along or somehting....... theres no way he could actually like me and the closer i get to him the morew it will hurt when he does reallise what a loser he is dating!! why did i get myself into this??

[ShySoul]

First, don't do anything your not comfortable doing. He should respect you and follow your wishes.

 

Second, have more confidence in yourself. I'm sure in his eyes you are the most attractive person he knows. He sees something special in you. You are not a loser. I'm sure your a very good, nice, and pretty person. The only thing negative about you seems to be your lack of self-confidence. You need to believe in yourself. You are beautiful and deserve to have someone who loves you. And please, don't hurt yourself. This won't do you any bit of good.

[From_Now_On]

Hey there,

I don't know much about your boy here...so I can't say if he is really seeing something in you...or just using you and being a jerk. But there's one thing I do know. I can guarentee you are not the fattest, or the ugliest girl. And weird? Heck, there's nothing wrong with being different. Also, there are a lot of people who hurt themselves. It's not the 'smart' choice...it's not "the best choice", and it's certainly not a good thing. BUT, just because you do it doesn't make you stupid or weird or a loser. It means you have things that you struggle with. You have flaws...but it's not even just that...you have problems in your life that hurt you and are hard for you to deal with. Having a low self-esteem just makes everything so much harder. And I don't mean to say that as a "oh your self-confidence issue is your fault", because I'm sure it's not. I'm just saying that it is a big factor in why all of this is so hard for you.

 

Anyway, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me or whatever else.

 

Take Care!

[ksk0_0]

No offense girl, but have some damn confidence and dignity in yourself!

One thing, your not going to get ANYWHERE if you keep thinking your a stupid loser and whatsoever, have some pride in yourself. I'm sure your boyfriend loves you for who you are and not your looks, and for your sake - don't hurt yourself...

 

Sorry if I sound too direct at you but it's kinda the only way to get the message into you since you kept on discouraging yourself after other peoples posts too.

[unexpectedvictim57]

thanx i guess he will not push it but its not my fault i have low self confidence....... like there's nothing for me to like so how am i supposed to be confident!?! im so scared i'll push him away........ ...... and thanx for your advice, especially the direct ones lol....

[AbbAbb]

dont rush into things...it can mess up a relationship and dont worry about ur weight..he obviously loves u for who u are