First "Date" with a girl

[danman794]

So I met a girl on tinder of all places, lol. But anyway, she seems really cool, same career path as me and similar interests and doesn't even live terribly far from me, and on top of it will be living by campus during summer (which I likely will too). My problem is I want y'all to tell me what you think of the "Date." The reason I'm quoting it is because she paid for herself. While I know this isn't too uncommon I was expecting to pay for her (Long story short this went from a coffee date where I told her I'd buy her coffee to a lunch date where she only wanted coffee) but while I was looking at the menu she picked and paid. Is that a bad sign? Is it also weird that she didn't get food (I did) even though it was 2pm and she hadn't eaten (I'm pretty sure)? Other than that I think everything went well, we talked for about 3.5 hours, about school, about each other, yada yada. Only one time where there was a silence really, which was near the end (3ish hours in), which only lasted probably 5ish seconds. She was engaged in the conversation and asking me questions as well as me to her. So my only real concern is her paying for herself when I told her I would buy her coffee and I was wondering when y'all think I should call her/ text her back.

 

Keep in mind that we only have 2 weeks of school left and I would like it to progress a bit before I leave for a few weeks (so she's less likely to lose interest, I know this sounds bad but she seems like a real catch!). I'm not saying doing the dirty, but I'd like to get to be closer and maybe some physical stuff, just really find out if she's interested I guess. Any Advice would be appreciated, I have never dated like this before (I'm 20 and my only relationship evolved from a fwb situation) so I'm a newbie If I sound like an ass I apologize!

 

Also, we were joking about desert and stuff and she said: If you don't like chocolate idk if we can be friends- hang out or whatever anymore (she said the second part quickly after she said friends), I feel like thats probably not a big deal but any ideas?

[IvanTheTerribl]

Don't over think it. She was probably nervous or unsure about you or use to buying her own or tired of waiting or.......anything else under the sun. That's the thing, you'll never know. But don't worry about it. With women, you will never understand the decisions they make or the actions they take. But that's the beauty of it. It's kinda mysterious. Trying to analyze it and fretting about what it possibly means is not going to do you any good.

 

You met her on Tinder, right? So both are you are probably unsure of the whole thing but still open to just seeing where things go. Unless she made it really obvious that she isn't interested in you romantically or sexually, then it's safe to assume that she's still open to getting to know you/feeling things out. When should you call her? [Notice I said call. If you're actually interested in her, give her a call instead of a text. That will let her know you're interested to a good degree. Old fashioned works. Crazy, right?] Call her whenever you feel like it, man! Don't live in your head and spend every waking second analyzing every little detail. That's the problem with our generation. Cut the bull. If you like her, want to see her again, and feel like calling the next day.....do it! If you feel like you'd rather wait 2 days and build suspense or something......do it! Whatever your gut tells you.

 

Just make sure you get clarity soon enough. By that I mean if you go out 3 times and you're still not sure if she's interested but you know you are, tell her you like her. See if she feels the same and go from there. Or....if you're not feeling it, move on and let her know.

 

Sorry for the long post/rant. Good luck!

[abitbroken]

Yeah, if you met on Tinder, a hookup site, she is probably making sure to pay for herself so you don't get the wrong idea. Just casually get to know her with no pressure or no thoughts of "progressing." Just find out more about her and take her on casual dates to well lit places.

 

tell her you like her.

 

I wouldn't. I would just see if she is interested in going out again. And then see if she is avoiding you or eager to go out a third time. If she starts to suggest things for you guys to do after that, and accepts your dates also, then that is a good sign. I wouldn't lay on the whole "i really like you" thing just because you are eager to get something started. Just communicate over the break and ask her out to something when you are back also if things are going decent.

[danman794]

And then see if she is avoiding you or eager to go out a third time. If she starts to suggest things for you guys to do after that, and accepts your dates also, then that is a good sign.

 

The only problem with this is her insane schedule. For example, she was up all night (Thursday to Friday) studying. She is very busy with two jobs and 18 credits and doesn't have a whole lot of free time until summer. Ill probably either call her or text her today. I feel like I should call though instead of text...right? And today isn't too early is it? Advice from another woman would be appreciated!