UR confused about the breakup!!

[goddess23]

hey everyone. okay im going to try to just put this out short n simple. my ex and i broke up about 3 months ago. things are okay, we're still friends, he was very confused about the breakup. things were perfect, he went on vacation came back and didnt know how he felt anymore. i couldnt handle that, i mean i wasnt going to just let it play and see how he felt....so i suggested we end it and he said "i just need time" and whatever. he was SUPER CONFUSED. then a couple of weeks later he had mentioend how he still likes me and what not but how he doesnt want to get back together and lose his feelings again and go through another brekaup. so im like well you need to follow your heart, if you like me you should be with me if not then you're doing the right thing. that was that, time kept passing, and things didnt really change...just less and less contact. now its winter vacation and he went on vacation again. its just all my friends think that we're going to get back together so my question is do you guys think i should keep hope? should i consider that its not OVER, or should i just think it is and get over it. what are your honest opinions? thanks alottt

[panchala23]

Hahahah. Well I guess I am posting in yours now. I know what you mean about all your friends saying that you will get back together. That is what my friends tell me too, and why not? A good friend is someone who will try and make you feel better, and they know what will make us feel better.....some shred of hope. At least that makes us feel better momentarily. I would like to tell you to give up hope, but if you really really love this guy then I don't think that is fair to you or him or your feelings. Don't give up hope, but definitely move on as most you can. That is what I am attempting to do, although it is not that easy. Who knows maybe you will meet someone who will treat you like you are supposed to be treated, or maybe he will realize it himself. I feel like we are on teh same page here, you should PM if you want to talk about it. I am always up for talking

[Switch187]

Well one thing that I want to ask you is, did he give you any other reasons when he came back as to why he feels confused? I would hate to jump to conclusions, or be the bearer of bad news, but 90% of the time when a partner goes on vacation and comes back confused it's connected to an infidelity issue. He may have had some "fun" out on vacation (and don't say he was with his family and couldn't, becasue it is possible) or he may have started to have an attraction to other females and started to wonder if he should still be with you if he's attracted to other girls. This is really common in many couples, especially in your age group, and I wouldn't doubt that he started to have feelings, or already started "fooling" around with other girls while he was out. If you can, first try to find out what he's really thinking, sit down and try to get everything out in the open. Try to find out why he's confused (sometimes partners will say they don't know, but they know something or else they wouldn't be confused) and then you can make a decision on whether to keep hope for him to come back. In the meantime though, keep yourself open and free and don't just sit back and wait for him to figure out what he wants.

[goddess23]

hey thanks for your replies! well about my friends trying to make me feel better, honestly i agree that some of them will do that, but there are people who are honest with me, i dont know how to explain it just that they're not saying this to make me feel better. honestly if i was my friend i would think the same. its just inside, my gut says no. about the issue of infidelity it did cross my mind. however, hes not the type of guy who would actually even make a move on a girl he really liked. he may have been attracted to some other girls which may have made him think. i asked him recently during a convo if he ever cheated on me and he said no and kind of laughed. honestly i wouldnt be shocked if it was an issue of him cheating, maybe he did, for now ill give him the benefit of the doubt, but i agree that it could be a possibility. however, i truly feel that the main reasons for the breakup was first of all too serious to fast, or really just too early in our lives, and second his friends influence. alot of my friends werent the best to him and neither were his. his friends always told him how he spends too much time with me and what not, honestly thats NOT TRUE, we never spent weekends together just after school. and we didnt have the same lunch so we didnt spend that time together. but ya...i will probably pm you because i would love to talk as well. thank you guys, any more replies are very much welcome, any other input would be appreciated, thanks again!