Is EX using roommate to get info?

[roxy79]

I've posted many-o-times about my ex, why he asked for space, was he coming back etc. All in all I think he and I are DONE. He doesn't try to contact me unless I contact him. I figure by his no-effort ,that he is no longer interested in me (eventhough when we do chat, he seems interested in my well being, my family, what I've been doing etc.) Doesn't matter.

 

Here's my problem/question. 2 weeks ago I called my ex to see how he'd been. Great conversation, I asked what he was up to that Friday night (just to be friendly), and he said he had "plans." I thought "oh, dont I feel dumb!" But I didn't say anything and I didn't ask what his plans were. I just let it go.

The very next day his roommate "runs" into me at work (which has NEVER happened in the 3 years that I've worked there) we chit chat for a moment, and we try to "plan" a night where we (he, my best friend, and myself) could meet up for drinks.

 

Now why all of a sudden is his roommate "running" into me? I had tried to hook him up with my friend many months ago but he wasn't interested in persuing the matter. But the only reason I mentioned him meeting up with my friend and I AGAIN was just to further our conversation.

 

Any thoughts? Do you think my ex might be sending his roommate on a mission to get info on me? Do you think they are "working" together on this? I'm just not buying the coinicidence of it all. My ex and I are on very good terms with each other (we just don't talk very much anymore) which is why I figured he could contact me to try to get the scoop.

 

I have plans this week with them (ex's roommate, my best friend, myself). How should I play it off? I want the message that I'm FINE and doing GREAT without my ex to come accross so that he can relay the message. Cause they'll talk about that right? I want my ex to regret kicking me to the curb. I want him to shake in his pants at the thought of losing me or that he may have ALREADY lost me. Nothing was ever wrong in our relationship...he just decided he needed to do stuff for himself and get his ducks in a row. (whatever that means).

 

ANY feedback would be helpful to me.

[roo1oo]

I want the message that I'm FINE and doing GREAT without my ex to come accross so that he can relay the message. Cause they'll talk about that right? I want my ex to regret kicking me to the curb. I want him to shake in his pants at the thought of losing me or that he may have ALREADY lost me. Nothing was ever wrong in our relationship...he just decided he needed to do stuff for himself and get his ducks in a row. (whatever that means).

 

I know how you feel. But I desperately plead to you, don't try to make him jealous. He knows what he's lost, and he know's what he could gain by taking you back. The question is, are you really doing GREAT? You probably are, but to me, and I'm sorry if this seems confrontational, but to suggest that this situation is a coincidence, I think you really aren't fine. You're contacting him when he broke up with you to find out how he's doing. Which can be a good thing, but if its causing you to think something may be up when it isnt (sorry, thats speculation, I have NO idea whats up then maybe you should cut off contact. Or maybe, depending on how confident you are in yourself and your new found independence, go out with the roommates and your ex and ask him straight out (certaintly privately) how he feels. Just say you want to know as a closure kind of situation. If he wants you back, he'll say he does. If not, he'll say he doesn't. He'll say he's happy with how things are. Just, whatever you do, don't seem desperate or excited to see him. Just make it as if its another day in your life, and if your seeing an old friend.

 

Good luck!

[roxy79]

The reason I "coined" the term coincidence in this situation is because it all seems so random and out of character. My ex will NOT be joining us for drinks this week, just his roommate. And I am doing really good (only recently have I realized this) and I don't really plan on proving to his roommate that I'm doing well, I know he will see that.

 

I'm just the type of person who notices things that are out of the ordinary and when his roommate "stopped" by to see me at work (I don't even work near him really), seems very ODD to me. The first thing I thought of was, is my ex putting him up to something?