I like this guy..

[maryam]

Hey guys,

 

I like a guy for a long time now. I see him rarely, he works at the same hospital as I do but the hospital is so big we rarely meet.

A couple of weeks ago I saw him more frequently because he worked at the same department for a week. We know eachother from the early years we were studying, but we kind of never spoke. At that point I liked him too but not as much as I do now. He is not so much of a speeker and comes accross as a shy guy. Now in this week that I saw him frequently he never said hi, nor did he even cross his eyes with me. He did talk to his other collegues and other people, but it was like I was a piece of air for him. I have to mention that we are both from the same origin unlike the other people around is in this hospital. Which makes it hard not to be seen by one another, if you get what I mean. I dont know what to think of him. I can not get him out of my mind. My head keeps on thinking about him. I want to move on, but somehow I keep having hope that we might get to know eachother on some way or another. Another part of my brains says that I have to stop living a fantasy since this guy didnt even notice me and I am wasting my time on thinking about him.

 

Can someone relate to this situation and give me some solid advice?

[Kendahke]

My advice would be to say "hi" to him and gauge his reaction to that. If he seems open, then ask him to join you for a coffee. If he doesn't seem open, then you'll know to move on because you tried and he wasn't receptive.

[maryam]

The thing is I dont see him anymore.. He is not at my department anymore.. But in my head he is constantly around. I cant control it.

[Kendahke]

Is there anyway you can find out where he is now? Like asking people from the department in which he was working last week?

[maryam]

im afraid I cant. Because its ackward to show up there without any reason.

[Kendahke]

well, then, I guess treat this like a fever... let it run its course and in time, it will break and fade.

[maryam]

So I just give up every hope?

[Kendahke]

So I just give up every hope?

 

You dont know where he is.

 

You refuse to ask anyone where he is because it's "awkward".

 

I guess you're all out of options, then.

 

What other choice do you have? You can't wish him into existence.

[Mari]

So I just give up every hope?

Maybe it's your origin. For instance let's say a Muslim guy meets another Muslim girl and they're both from the same country but now in the US. It would be pretty obvious even a from a distance that they're from the same background. But, based on cultural rules, I don't think the guy would ever initiate a conversation with the girl outside of business because anything remotely near flirting is generally considered to be bad. If he wants that girl he has to figure out who her parents are and then send his over to make plans.

 

But for anyone else that isn't from that culture the opposite is true. It would be rude to ignore them, and he wouldn't be flirting but would be more open to discussing things outside of business. This is just an example but maybe you have something similar in your culture/origin.

[maryam]

Well.. You are close to what is happening here. But the step to go directly to someone's parents is not so common anymore. You still have to show some interest in the woman first and get to know her for who she is. But I guess this guy doesnt like me, or doesnt have the balls to initiate a conversation. Its just me who s stupid here.

[Mari]

Well.. You are close to what is happening here. But the step to go directly to someone's parents is not so common anymore. You still have to show some interest in the woman first and get to know her for who she is. But I guess this guy doesnt like me, or doesnt have the balls to initiate a conversation. Its just me who s stupid here.

 

I wouldn't say you're stupid here but yeah, he might not even know you like him. Have you tried talking with him, maybe smiling? I guess you could wink too... Nah, never mind. So, smiling or talking work out for you in the past?

 

If all else fails there's always that high school way of telling him: "Hey I think my friend over there likes you, what do you think of her?" Then the friend comes back and let's you know. Or if they're a bad friend and they want the guy for themselves, they tell you he doesn't want you and then they try out their luck. So you have options.

[maryam]

I know Mari, chances that I will see him or as much as zero. I never smiled to him. When he walked in a long hall straight by me, he just looked to the ground, like a real shy guy. He is the man here. If he did like me, than he would have done something, or say something. Dont you agree? He isnt into me, thats just my badluck.

[ToriGomell]

i know it is not what you wanna hear, but even so, in my opinion i think you should give up on him. you don't know where he is, and have no contact with him, and the chance of meeting each other is small. the thing is, if you do not give up on him you might miss out on someone else and that would be too bad