8 Months - Progress! Sharing My Story =)

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Hey everyone, well 8 months since my ex left me. It has been a very bumpy road, I don't think that I am really really over her but I do believe I'm making so much more progress. I broke my record of not contacting her and it's been 4 weeks. I'm excited as I do believe it will only go up from there, and in all honesty I feel so much stronger now that if she ever reaches out to me or we ever talk again in our lifetimes. I will respond in a nice way and just forgive and forget and live and learn. Whether we get back together one day, I know in my heart now that she is not the person that I am meant to marry, and the one that I can myself live and breath everyday and die alongside. I wanted to post about this one question I had because lately I been so much stronger and been able to see the light, never been so happy in life since before I met her to be honest. I eat three times a day, I can go to sleep without being bothered whether shes in my dreams or not that night, and I'm looking forward to all the things I have set up for myself. I'm asking girls out (as you guys gave me advice on lol), meeting and hanging out with completely new friends, and finally was able to land a job.

 

Now I have made plans, and I really determined now to move out of my parents house and live a life of my own, as I realized I cannot be the person I was meant to be and make special memories with special that pass through my life living in my parents home. The weird thing is now, I actually listen to a lot of happy love longs when they come on the radio, and like I often think about her but it doesn't make me as sad as much. Sometimes I tear up but it's because of how happy I think she is, how happy that I'm feeling,and I'm finally starting to appreciate the times we had, and just simply letting go. So I was wondering if anyone else has had this feeling. Am I in the transition stage? When I think about it, my anger has really gone to a minimal and stagnant place inside of me. If not, it might just be completely terminated. Anyways that's just a question in my mind and wondering if anyone felt or have felt this way. Hear a song on the radio and think about your ex and think about the bad then the good the let go and then of the other future girls/guys(if your a girl reading this) that you have or think about. Thank you guys so much for reading, really. Thank you for any responses you would like to give and once again always thank you for your support, advice, and responses, and time.

 

 

P.S. I also wanted to share my story as through a school assignment I had to describe a relationship that went through the stages of "Coming Together and Coming Apart". Started getting thoughts of man would be nice if my ex could read this but then thought for what right? So I thought I would get rid of that thought and desire to contact her maybe somehow by sharing it on here. N now that I'm going to do it, it is gone, and I feel better, so thank you all ENAz for everything. Once again thank you reading. Heres hope for anyone going through bad times right now. Don't worry, as with time, time heals all, and everything, so very true =).

 

My School Assignment - "Stages of Coming Together and Coming Apart" / My Story

 

When I think about one of the relationships that have gone through the stages of Coming Together and Coming Apart is my first real relationship I had with a girl I met in college. This is the only one that I can really describe and relate to when it comes to the different stages that any type of relationship with anyone can go through. She was the one who saw interest in me and decided to make herself known to me. She chased after me, initiating contact when she could, even sat accross from me to get my attention. Eventually her vast amount of interest with me seeded and rooted in my expressive nature to show my own interest of her. We started to speak each other, do things that we liked together, spent as much time as we could getting to know each other. The experimentation of our interaction spread like field fire and bore results of appreciation for our search of find commonality in our personalities, and we did these things often. Suddenly things between us had fated to become intensified, we spoke, did things, and got to know each other together even more often than so and with open feelings.

 

 

We would talk all night about wanting to be with each other and telling fables of our adventures together how we would get to each other no matter the distance. I could not part from her without revealing to her my feelings that contact between us will happen again soon after. I brought out the best in her, and she brought out the best of me. Then, it was love. I expressed my love for her and in turn she did the same, it was love, there’s nothing more I could say. We became a couple, she belonged to me, and I belonged to her. She had met my parents and when she introduced me to her family I felt like the happiest person in the planet. We had integrated ourselves as one unit, and every single day was a dream waking up to her face every day. It was one of the most joyous times of my life. I would stay at her house often, and she would stay with me whenever she could. My family, her family, her friends, my friends, and everyone around us accepted our single identity. We started to everything together; the days would not start or end without her in my life. We went everywhere and did everything together. Then in my eyes, we truly bonded with and to each other. We showed our love no matter where we went.

 

 

We were not afraid to show care for each other through what we said and the things we did for each other. Eventually our love grew too wide for our individual times to coincide; situations hindered us enough to bother our thirst to be with each other. We decided to make plans to escape our reality and depend on our love to rebuild for selves a new life, a new adventure, a new dream somewhere else. Before it happened, it was our one year anniversary. We spent it on the beach, built a nice shady shelter, and built a sand castle of a heart with the words “One Year Anniversary”. People would pass to ask if we could take a picture of them and I in turn asked them to take capture the moments we spent during that time period. We fell asleep in the sand until the moonlight when the people could no longer see our sandy symbolic gesture to show that our relationship exists.

 

 

Then, our plans became a reality. We moved to another city an hour from where we stayed, and enrolled in a school together. It was nostalgic. We would stay up literally all night; we would really get no sleep just staring into each other’s eyes. We would still come back home to our families every weekend and the drive and ride was a toll on both of us but nonetheless we persevered because of what we had made and created together. It was the peak of our relationship. We went to school together, bought groceries together, explored the world that we had created together. We had no one stopping us as we spent most of our taking trips to the beach and spending our days at the zoo. You could not separate me from her even you tried the best you could. Then, the past had caught up to us. Simple mistakes, small judgments, and disagreements rooted issues between us. Some, our love was just not enough to resolve them. Some, is my accepted guess, was just not meant to be resolved.

 

 

We began to really differentiating from what we would say to each other, to the things we did. We started to get into harsher arguments, shouting and screaming at the top our lungs at each, the same ones and the same things we would do to express our love for each other. We would hang out together with the same types of people, but even they could tell how we were slowly reestablishing our individual identities. After all this happened, in my eyes, I felt that we were really trying to connect again. In reality, she more hurt then I could have ever imagined. She started to circumscribe her thoughts of me. From what I was told from her, the more she thought about us not being meant to be, the more she began to believe. Maybe, sadly, I was starting to believe it too. Our contact and commitment to one another slowly declined, the annoyance was there, and we were no longer staying up all night in each other’s arms. Even though all of this was happening, I still tried my very hardest even though now I realize I should have just done better for me to become the man that she had fall in love with in the first place.

 

 

Later after, as I was falling even more in love with her as I was trying to reconnect our wired hearts together; she had already decided to move on. Our relationship became stagnant, I could tell in what she said and in her actions but was too afraid, and too ashamed to be get to that fully openness point that we once had. I’m sure she also felt frustrated or felt hindered to do the same. I tried so very hard to bring us back to that point, but our hunger to be with each other had left, declining enthusiasm in the hope or our love to survive. I would go through some weeks of frustration as she was constantly avoiding me, and I was too blind in anger, sadness, and desperation to be like how we used to be to see what was really going on. Our contact would be short, awkward, and I was just a bother to her and our relationship at that point. Everything minimized, including the love we created, explored, and shared. From that point on, the end revealed its clarity, to me, us.

 

 

She had decided to leave, to live a happier life than the one we shared, the one we created together, and the one she had with me and I with her. I’m so happy for her now, more than I ever was. Now, I understand and accept, and it was an amazing ride. Despite all the pain that we both experience, I’m glad that did what she to do to be happy. In the end, in my core, and never in my life, could I not have asked for nothing and anything more. Our relationship, bonds, and our love terminated. The final stage had finally reached its destination. It’s been eight months, going on nine. Since then we both have gone through ups and downs, although I don’t see or hear from her I know and understand and that both parties hurt regardless of who left who. I know she’s doing alright now, and I am so happy for her and always wish her the best. After that we went through many up and down contact, mostly with me doing my end of it, then deterioration. Eventually, I found the strength to become alive again as she was, my world.

 

 

I realized that some things that we go through in life are necessary in order for us to become the person we were meant to be. I learned that some doors are meant to close so that others can open, and I learned that you can take nothing for granted. Only recently, was I able to fully accept to let go. I could not go on like that anymore, I know that she would have wanted me to be happy and vice versa. I called her, one last time, found the courage to leave her just one message. Before that time the longest I had gone was three weeks of not contacting her, by this time I was a lot stronger at nearly seven months. I left her just one message saying “I just want to say one thing, goodbye Claudia, I wish you best, and that you live a happy life, goodbye.”

 

 

I know she probably had it in her mind that the relationship was over long ago but after I hanged up, it was my final acknowledgement at the state of mind I was in that the relationship is over. It’s been four weeks now and I’m at a very high point in my life right now breaking my record of no contact. In my mind it was a rough “coming apart”, but as I have learned, the people that you meet and pass throughout your life were and are there for a reason. Some stay and some go, but all reveal the lessons they carry necessary to contribute to become the people that we were meant to be. Whether it is meant to be later on, or if we ever talk again, I know that the only thing I should do if that were to happen be just respond by being the best that I could be in whatever happens with it.

 

 

We grew, we loved, we disagreed, we felt pain, we separated, and I appreciate it all because the struggle in life, success, and happiness to me is nothing but love. My coming apart was negative at first, but then after some time ran its course, from negative it can only go to positive. After analyzing the relationship I had with this woman, I truly understand now, some are going to be negative and some are not, and some are meant to maintain and survive forever and some are not, but relationships all go through a process of coming together, coming apart, and if meant to survive, maintain their relationship that continues forever.

 

Congratulations you've reached the end! lol For real though thank you so much for reading, I know it was long, really thank you, thank you, thank you.

[jemoeder]

awesome post. has a lot of familiar points to it in some ways. but really, beautifully written. my hat off to you.

[JagzOrDaFlash]

awesome post. has a lot of familiar points to it in some ways. but really, beautifully written. my hat off to you.

 

Well thank you kind sir, and I really appreciate your comment! I just wanted to share this in hope that someone would be inspired somehow and would help somebody in some kind of way. Idk but I always seem write long thought out literature when it comes to love for some reason haha. Even though unlike last time I have people to share it with, so really thanks for reading and taking the time to comment =) It really helps out knowing someone is there listening, even all the views but with no replies thank you. This website has helped me out a lot and I hope my contribution will aid others in the same I've been aided.

[gxzone]

I too read your post. I can't explain why, but it was very comforting for me in this difficult week I am having. I have only broken up with my ex for 2 months, and 1 month of no contact. I have only been with her 7 months and only met her one time for 4-5 hours, so I don't know why I have such a hard time letting her go.

 

Thank you for your post. I read it from beginning to end. I hope I can be where you are soon. I know I will be, its just hard to fight though the pain. But I will fight, and I will prevail.

 

Thank you

[JagzOrDaFlash]

I too read your post. I can't explain why, but it was very comforting for me in this difficult week I am having. I have only broken up with my ex for 2 months, and 1 month of no contact. I have only been with her 7 months and only met her one time for 4-5 hours, so I don't know why I have such a hard time letting her go.

 

Thank you for your post. I read it from beginning to end. I hope I can be where you are soon. I know I will be, its just hard to fight though the pain. But I will fight, and I will prevail.

 

Thank you

 

No brother thank you, just knowing that my story, my feelings, thoughts, and revelations reaches someone out there that there is hope to survive my man. Don't worry bro you will be where I'm at, this I promise. And don't beat yourself up too hard, just think everybody gets over someone in their own pace, do not compare yours to others and vice versa. All you can do right now is just do your best and 1 month of no contact in 2 months is amazing! lol I wish I was that strong already when it was barely 2 months for me. Thank really for reading it from beginning to end, it really helps me in so many ways. One thing that has helped me so very much to give me that boost to finally let go is two things.

 

One - One day, God will reveal to you the reason why you went through all the things that you did.

 

Two - In my opinion, my friend told me that I would bounce back like a warrior after something like this happened to me. And you know what, all the pain that I go through from this, only means just how much stronger I will become after. So if I go through however so much pain, it helps to imagine myself in double that pain. Except it won't be pain, it will be strength =)

 

So dont worry, live life to the fullest and do the best that you can do, for you brother. Also, for me, it helps just taking a deep deep breath my man and just think that everything your feeling and going through is completely normal. That has helped me alot hope this all will aid you as well. Again, thanks for reading and leaving a comment =)

 

"That's fine, you can go check how much the grass is greener on the other side."

"Me? Ill go this way, because that's where the sun is shining"

-Me lol

 

This really inspires me right here

 

"But why? Why do you want it so badly"

"Because they told me I couldnt have it"

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Just thought Id add one more thing

 

"Even the sun sets in paradise"

 

=)