It's all about THEM?

[Celadon]

Hey everyone. I was just wondering - how do you guys handle friends who are self-absorbed? They're the ones who really do think it's all about THEM and don't understand when you're tired of responding to every little thought they express and every little joke/bid for attention they make.

 

Has anyone actually called your friend on his/her self-absorbed behavior? And if you did, what happened?

[ticklebug]

if you are dealing with someone that self absorbed...most of the time if you say something about it...they will turn it around on you and call you jealous etc.

 

Personally, I just refuse to be friends with people who are like that...and do my best to avoid them.

[RockG]

My ex-best friend, was the most self absored person ever..

So, i couldn't take it anymore, i told her she was selfish and etc..

she just laughed, and never spoke to me again.. but she is still self absored.. i don't think they ever get over it!!

So, if you tell them about they'll probably, get mad at you! At least thats my experience!!

[tiger_lilies]

I have a friend who is totally self absorbed! It's getting to the point where I don't want to talk to her even on a weekly basis!

 

I've thought about this and whether or not I should say something to her, but I realize that this would only hurt her feelings.

 

So I've decided not to say anything to her. I will just keep my distance until I think I can stand her again. She really is a wonderful person, but she never steps outside of the box to realize that there are other important things going on besides her and her own world.

[OceanEyes]

I only have one girlfriend who is self-absorbed, but at the same time, I know that if I really needed her, that she would be there for me completely. I think that's basically what it comes down to; can you see this friend being there for you if you really needed it? There has only been one friend that was actually so self-absorbed that I actually cut off all ties from her and basically blocked her from my e-mail, didn't take her calls, etc. I was pretty good friends with her too, we were roommates last year.

 

I think it would be very hard for me to tell a friend that they were self-absorbed. I couldn't hurt her feelings like that, or deal with how much friction there would be after that conversation. There's a good chance that she just doesn't know how she's being, or that she's not very self-aware.

 

The older I get, the more I realize that life is too short to hang out with people who make you feel like crap while you're around them. I'd rather be lonely than associate with people who make me feel like garbage.

[SaSaRai]

actually I agree with ticklebug on most cases.... I can't stand people who are like that because before long they are competing with you and it starts to make you look bad. My best friend was like that and I hated it SO MUCH, I got mad at him every single day and wouldnt talk to him. Then one day I talked to him about it... it took probably 2 month for him to stop... he kept doing it even after we talked about it.

 

Then I couldnt take it anymore because he was making me feel bad about myself so I decided to give up the friendship because I couldnt keep living that way. I confronted him and told him "hey man, im sorry but this is really too much for me... etc etc" and he stopped and hasnt really done it since then.... maybe hes just a really really good friend? I dunno... but thats what happened to me...

[Celadon]

I can't stand people who are like that because before long they are competing with you and it starts to make you look bad.

 

Yes! That's *exactly* it. If you start asserting yourself, or ignoring them, people start thinking that either you're jealous or in competition with them. When really, it's all a matter of getting fed up with self-absorption and wanting things to be more equal. So glad you guys know what I mean!

 

AS for the person I'm thinking of, she's not a best friend or anything, so I'm just going to try to hang out more with people who don't annoy me.

[larajenkins4]

self-obsessed people can be the most damaging thing sometimes! does she get protective over you? doesn't want you to see other people? i know someone like that, they can talk about themselves for hours, and when you want to say something, you get a 2 minute inbetween their endless ranting about themselves, it gets tiresome, and you cant cope anymore. you need to tell her, does it feel like you cant tell her anything anymore? she might have some mental issues, they normally do, and they cry out for help, but they are afraid of admitting it, or, she could just be a self-obsessed person. you need to talk to her, cos it's only going to make things worse if you dont, hope it all goes well!

[SaSaRai]

yeah , maybe she has Self OCD (self-obsessive compulsive disorder) lol

[Celadon]

yeah , maybe she has Self OCD (self-obsessive compulsive disorder) lol

 

Self OCD! LOL! That's hilarious.

[shuntaro603]

i think telling her how u feel won't help much. i told my friend that and he just didn't care. if u can't stand ur friend, i would end this friendship.