what do you do when your man needs to cool down?

[kauaiangirl83]

hi everyone,

it's been awhile since i've posted on here. I have since moved to San Francisco to be with my bf. I found a good paying job and things seem to be moving forward.

But this morning, we had a falling out over something seriously stupid. Since the argument, i have calmed down thanks to a good friend, but my bf is still not here.

I know that guys feel like they have to get away sometimes and they go for walks or whatever to calm down, but what do girls do when they are in this situation? I have already taken a shower, talked to a friend and that has helped me a lot, but I'm kinda out of ideas. i have guilt issues where if i have fun right now that i'm not being a good enough gf.

 

if anyone has ever been in my situation or if you have any ideas with what i could do feel better, please let me know!

 

thanks in advance!

[Mun]

Well don't feel guilty. You both need to cool down before you can talk again and if doing something that makes you feel good is going to help you relate to him better then do it. You don't want to be grouchy when he comes back .. or you will snap at him again. You want to be in a good place emotionally so that if he wants to talk you can discuss things calmly.

 

Just give him the space he needs right now and see how things go.

 

Good luck.

[ShuShu Fontana]

It was over something stupid and you got over it. Some people take more time and different approaches. If he's going to dwell on it it's his problem, not yours. Go have a blast.

[arwen]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just give him some space, and don't start out talking to him by asking 'so, why did you come home so late, etc.' Just say hi and be cool with it. If he wants to talk about it, he will indicate it himself I think.

 

Maybe next to that, you can plan a night out for yourself once in a while. If you are living together, this does wonders to a relationship in my experience. Do you have a social circle of your own in your new city? Sometimes fights over nothing occur because couples are too much together or one of the partner feels too responsible for the wellbeing of the other. I think the latter is especially true when one of the partners moves a long way from home to be with the other.

 

take care,

 

Ilse.