What else can i do? I love her :(

[Mr X]

Im 17, shes almost 18. Ill call her Clair.

 

I have known Clair for about 2 years now. We met at the place where we both work and from the first day we met we have been friends and this has increased to really close friends now.

 

Ever since the first time I spoke to her I liked for 'above average' compared to any other female friends of mine, and have slowly fallen for her more and more. Since the first time we met everyone at worked have asked us if anything was going on (they noticed more then we did as whenever anyone asked we were both shocked that they even thought that..lol).

 

After knowing Clair for about 6 months she started gettting really close to this other guy and started falling for him, although they never had the connection we have, this lasted a couple of months until he ***ed her around and she ended it.....just seeing them hanging out made me jealous as hell.

 

Around 8 months ago I went to England for about a month, and just before this i was kinda interested in someone else as I honestly believed that Clair was way to good for me and that i would of had no chance with being with her even if I did ask her out. So off to england i went, expecting to be missing this other chick - when to my surprise I missed Clair more then you could imagine, so i said "there is no chance you can let her go without even saying anything to her about your feelings). After the holiday I practicly came from the airport, got changed, then went stright to work to see Clair (wasnt until later she knew this reason).

 

This is where it gets confusing.

 

A couple of weeks after I came back from my holiday (and a load more flirting then normally), I started talk to say to Clair "there is girl i really like" playing kinda gussing games (all along she knew it was her...lol). One day when talking to her she said "just ask her out, there is no way that she can say no to you". So I did it, i asked her out and she said "no".

 

She explained why and said sorry for saying what she said before, the reason is that she has been hut badly a couple of times in the past and wants to make sure it dosnt happen again. so basically i had to kinda prove that i care about her etc, which i am fine to do.

 

So here I am today, about 6 months down the line after telling her, 6 months of hurting, fustration, and at the same time falling in love with her - about 4 months ago i told her i love her. About 4 weeks ago, we were out somewhere and I ***ed everything up (at this stage she was about 90% sure she was going to say yes), what exactly i did, i dont know...what ever it did my chances went from 90% to 1% in the same day.

 

I LOVE HER! I would do anything for her, i would die for her. But I have no idea what else I can do to show her that i do, to somehow get 1 more chance, i know we would be great together, i know we would be happy together...but she dosnt see that anymore.

 

We are really close friends, but i need more then that, everytime I see her i get more pain, yet not seeing her would send me over the edge. Her heart is saying yes, but her mind is saying no....she dosnt change her mind very often.

 

What can I do to receive more more chance? I love her more then anyone ive ever loved before. She is my dream girl. What can i do!?

 

Please dont say "move on" or anything like that because this is impossible to do, i need to know how to get her to change her mind.

[David83]

Of course im not gonna say move on, i dont like to say move on to anyone because i myself can't move on either, i was with my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years and we were engadged, we have been apart for over a month now, but i am not gonna move on no matter what people say, the main reason being, is that i still love her more than anything in the world, and i myself feel like i cant move on and be close to anyone like that again, so i am taking my time, giving her space, and stuff and seeing what develops in time.

 

As for you, i think it would be a good idea if you are both really good friends, talk to her about her past experiences and find out what hurt her in past relationships, and i feel this way she will have got it out in the open, and you can do the total opposite to the things that have hurt her in the past, i know you will though because it sounds like you really love her, or why not try doing things to show her that you care, like if you see that she is feeling down, cheer her up and say that you are there for her to talk to, if you go out anywhere with your friends ask her if she would like to come along, if you know her address, send her a card or something every now and again saying hello or that you love her, im sure one of these ideas will work or a combination of them all.

 

Keep us updated on what happens and good luck!

[Mr X]

Here is a small update.

 

After about an hour of trying to convince her to allow me to have one day where I can show her completely what things can be like if we were dating, she finally said that she will think about it.

 

This is a very small step towards a bigger picture.

[SRV524]

You're moving on the right track. Just remember that you can't do like what I'm trying to avoid- don't push love too much. Keep that in mind and her wishes) and you'll be fine. Now if the same could only apply to me....

[MyDixieWrecked]

I agree as well, i sure wouldnt give up on this girl if you feel that strong.i feel the same way about my ex.im new but im sure my story will come out sooner or later.dont give this girl up do your best to prove her your not like her past experiences...prove to her by your past experiences maybe if youve had some that you 2 are similiar and that you dont wanna be hurt either.well good luck.Kyle

[Viper01]

Hi there,

 

I'm glad that i'm not completely alone delivering a uphill battle.

I guess that i didn't do at all the things that you all where talking about , i lyed at the beginning of my relationship about my financial situation, i guess that when you love one and other that money didn't count, but let's be honest a girl wants safety in her life.I told her the truth about this and was devastated when she told me that she needed some time to think things trough.

 

I'm a good man with a steady job, i love my ex-girlfriend a lot and i'm useless to say completely devastated. My problem was that i was too dependant on my girlfriend, i also didn't give her sufficient space that we all need in a relationship, space that we need to deploy our own pleasures, like sport, going out with friends, etc...

 

I our relationship i turned into the one thing that i never would be, i learned a lot from that and are back to the person that i was.

The independent person that she fell in love with.

 

Now the faults that i've made after the break-up was calling her all of the time and asking her for a second chance, at a point that she considered that i was harassing her, upon hearing this, it made me sick to my stummic, i'm not like that, altough my actions made that she looked me like this..

 

I'm so disgusted by the way that i acted, and when i call her now she doesn't pickup the phone, i guess that i had that coming.

Being alone changed me a lot, i gave me the time to change and find myself back.

 

I only hope that i can show her that i'm back to the guy that i was at the beginning of the relationship and that she will notice this, i really hope that she gives this a shot.

 

I know that i pressured her too much, i'm taking things slow now, but does anybody have an idea how todo it in a other way ?

 

I really love her, but i'm not planning to give up, altough that it is very hard.

 

Thanks...